Notes from the Desk of... Chris "Frenchy" LaBreche

Los Endos v. 11 (or Osceola Hard Core Ecstacy)  (August 15, 2010)

"Above anything else, I hate to lose."  -- Jackie Robinson

"Nobody likes to hear it, because it's dull, but the reason you win or lose is darn near always the same - pitching."  -- Earl Weaver

Hello again my faithful readers, and let me begin this post by saying thank you to everyone who made the 2010 Hudson River Rats baseball season a reality-- it was a privilege and an honor to once again manage our little amateur baseball squad here in Hudson, Wisconsin this past spring and summer.  Granted, the season ended much too soon for our liking, but that's the nature of baseball and competition; there are winners and there are losers.  The team that defeated us, the Onalaska A's, are now 32-7 overall and are heading to the WBA state finals for the fourth season in a row.  That's right, four straight years to the state finals.  Not too bad for a #3 seed that went 8-4 in their league this year.  The only teams with a comparable record in making the WBA state finals this decade would be: 1) the two-time defending champion Eau Claire Bears (2002; 2004-2009), (btw, the Bears were knocked out by the red-hot River Falls Fighting Fish earlier today 3-2), and 2) the LaCrescent Cardinals (2001; 2006-2009.)

Oddly, this is the third time we've faced up against a Mississippi Valley Baseball League squad in the WBA semi-finals, and it's also the third time we lost-- each time we've given up 7 runs, and either put up 1 run (2000 and 2010) or 2 runs (2006).  In a number of ways the Onalaska team reminds me of the Eau Claire Bears of recent championship years-- they are a confident, low-key, and efficient group of players, led by a player/manager with college experience.  But if you want to look into that a little further, you could easily throw in the Prescott Pirates of recent years, or perhaps another team that is going to the state finals, the aforementioned Fighting Fish...  All of these teams possess college experienced players, some of them being crafty veterans with many years of play under their belts and the wisdom to use it effectively.  However, the only negative I might give to Onalaska MIGHT be a lack of fan support-- on the other hand, it's tough to get a lot of friends, fans, and family members to drive all the way from LaCrosse to Osceola.  Still, compared to a team like the Fish who have some rabid fans (and also rabid family members), Onalaska doesn't really have the feel of a team-- they seem like a group of all-stars who are playing damn good baseball. 

Simply stated, and I know this comes from a guy who just lost to that team but...  Onalaska is a solid favorite to win the 2010 title.  They aren't exactly helped by playing the first game of the tourney at 6:30 PM in Tomahawk, but they have (along with Sparta I am assuming) the arms and bats to win a three game set against tough competition.  They already did so in Austin, Minnesota earlier this summer...  However, that's why they play the games right?  The A's play the Brill Millers to open up the tourney, while game 2 sets the Everest Merchants against the Fighting Fish.  I'm not sure if the Fish will use their Stillwater-bred ace, Rick Wells in their opener, but if they don't and they manage to beat the Merchants, they'll have a helluva game against either Onalaska or Brill in their second game.  After that, who knows?

Which brings me to the second of three St. Croix Valley Baseball League teams to make the finals, the Plum City Blues.  You know the gang.  Tony Garner.  Zach Watkins.  Shaun Miley.  Mark Luebker.  Kevin Mueller.  Chase Nelson, and so on...  Turn back the clock because if Tony Garner is on and the Blues can put at least 1 or 2 runs on the board, they might be facing the winner of the Osceola - Sparta tilt that makes up game 4 of the finals.  You never like your chances much when Garner starts a game against you.  I know damn well how good I felt when he pitched the Rats into the championship game in 2002 by beating the Oulu Blue Jays though...  The Blues will be scrappy, and they'll have a lot of guys around who've been to the finals-- it's only a question of whether or not they can win 3 straight.  On the other hand, they did it at their own tourney against some pretty solid squads...  (OK, maybe 2 good squads, but who's counting right?)

As for the Osceola Braves, who dispatched the Hallie Eagles 2-0 to get back to the state finals for the first time since 2006, their hopes are pinned (like the Plum City Blues) on their pitching.  Between Zurbriggen, Benitz, Leske, Papke, and Dettman, the Braves are capable of shutting opponents down, however it's not an easy ride with the Sparta Miller.  Sparta's been out of the playoffs since 2007, and like the Braves, they were a team that used to make the finals on a regular basis in the 90's and early 00's.  Interesting draw.  The Braves SHOULD have been a #1 seed-- please don't explain how they were left out while both the Superior Lakers AND the Ashland Merchants received #1 seeds, by the way-- and they play Sparta who was a legitimate #1 seed (who arguably cost their fellow league member Chaseburg-Coon Valley a spot by scheduling a make-up game AFTER the WBA seeding meeting.)  The Braves didn't strike fear into a lot of teams in the SCVBL this season because of a mid-season losing streak, but they went on a tear in July and have been collecting timely hits and big innings to win baseball games.

Could it be another Osceola-Plum City matchup like in 2003 and 2005?  Only time will tell.  What I am moderately pleased by is seeing that our league once again represented well in the semi-finals by placing 3 out of 8 teams in the "big dance".  Solid.  Not exactly the teams I expected, but solid, and most importantly, respectable.  Good teams and good people too, by the way.  Osceola is young overall, but I'm happy to see guys like Dave Leske and Dave Measner heading back to the finals, especially after the way their team imploded last season in July...  I'm happy to see Plum City head back to the finals after missing the playoffs for three straight years (2007-2009), especially with crusty old veterans I vividly remember seeing in the glory years of the mid-90's down in Spring Valley.  Perhaps they can catch a little magic and make a run?  Lastly, I am happy to see the Fish get to the finals in their third year of existence-- the old SV Hawks went through some grim times there for a while before getting things together these last couple of seasons.  The Fish have enjoyed a storybook season, and they're more than capable of winning the big game-- they proved that against my beloved squad for the division / league title.

Enough of OTHER teams though.  It wasn't as though the Rats had a bad year.  We didn't have our best year, but 16-13 overall is good.  It resembles 2005 in a few ways-- first, we were able to add some solid younger guys to the team who contributed to a nice stretch of wins in late June and July (like Andy Edholm, Andrew Moritz, and the infamous JR "Tolkien" Switalla), second, we transitioned from older to younger guys in our lineup (excepting Schaffer, Blegen, and the ageless Jason Bast), and third, we were able to draft an Elmwood Expos player who I wished would be available to us all year long (Eric Konsela).  UNLIKE 2005, we didn't go on the road for the playoffs (yeah, I know, it wasn't a great draw, but what the hell do you do?), we didn't win our first game, and we didn't play a weak schedule (we played 5 of the 8 finalists this year during the regular season, so that's not going up against the Little Sisters of the Poor.)

Speaking of comparisons, in 2005 we picked up a former college catcher/outfielder who grew up in Minnesota (Al Wurzberger) and joined the team in mid-June.  Of course, the comparison stops there because while Wurzy was a lefty with a nice average and an average arm, Andrew Moritz is a righty with a strong arm as well as an excellent work ethic (which isn't to say that Al didn't work hard).  Both guys were good pickups, but I think Moritz will add more to the Rats down the line, God willing.  I can't compare another newcomer from 2005 to 2010 because the only other notable new guys in 2005 were Todd Marino and Devin Rasmussen, and I really can't see Andy Edholm either going into the rodeo / calf rustling game (Marino), or the Pearl Escalade passenger / managing at Wendy's gig game (Rasmussen).  I know both of those guys misses playing on the Rats from time to time, so I honestly hope they're doing alright.  Actually, I take that previous statement back, our other newbie on the 2005 team was a certain Paul Johnson, who, oddly enough, came back in 2010 after a year of working with the homeless in Delaware.

So maybe there is some sense of circular closure there.  Strange that Paul works at my former employer in downtown Minneapolis as well-- nobody seems to remember me after nearly 9 years away...  And yes, my last day at that job was... September 11th.  No, I wasn't in on the events of that day, whether they were planned in Riyadh, Kabul, Washington DC, Langley, or Tel Aviv-- let's just say I still find jokes about that tragedy in poor taste, especially from a guy who served honorably in the U.S. Navy.  You know who you are...  Anyway...

I'm rambling, and unlike certain raconteurs with talent and an endless variety of material and time to work with, I have to get up in the morning and try to earn a day's crust through my sweat and toil.  I'm pretty sure there'll be more material to dredge through later in the week after I've taken the time to look at the scorebook and decompress what happened in the 2010 season.  Big hugs to my favorite pimp pitcher, my Yeti infielder, LB, Rudy, Cago, Brock, J-Love, J Hollar, Krum, Mitch, and Trav-- it's been great having you guys around for 3 to 10 years on the Rats-- I hope we can all do it again come next year.  To my readers and fellow SCVBL enthusiasts, thank you for your praise and for your honest feedback as well-- I only hope that I've made some of the time you've spent reading my musings worth the time.  May we meet again down the line for a drink and a smile... and perhaps another drink so long as neither of us is driving...  Lastly, thanks to my wife and daughter for enduring this endless adolescent fascination with amateur baseball.  Your patience and support is boundless.  See you kids soon!

The Lead-Up  (August 11, 2010)

"I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens." -- Spike Milligan

"Picasso had his pink period and his blue period.  I am in my blonde period right now."  -- Hugh Hefner

Hello again everybody, and welcome back to my little parcel of internet real estate here at the Rat's Nest.  We are only days away from the Wisconsin Baseball Association semi-final playoffs, and yet it feels like the big game will never come-- perhaps this is natural, perhaps I'm just delusional, but like Tom Petty sang so long ago, "the waiting is the hardest part."  Well, that really depends on what you're waiting for though, doesn't it?  Especially for those of you in amorously drunken situations in a damp tent in Plum City in late May...  But I digress.

The squad once again played without me last weekend, going so far as to whip up on the Hager City Skeeters 8-1 or something like that down in River Falls.  As I'd expected, the change from 3 PM to 10 AM didn't help our recruiting efforts, nor did the change in opponent.  If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd say that the organizers of the game down in River Falls were miffed at their placement in the WBA semi-finals at Rib Lake and therefore ended up moving us to the early game.  Of course, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, so I have to take the line of reasoning as I was told-- Chippewa Falls was in our bracket, so it didn't make sense to play them a week or so before we would potentially face them in the semi-finals.

Then again, the point was to get in a little work before the playoffs, so allow me to thank the Fish for hosting a game and paying for an umpire to help us out-- it was another class act among many class acts they've performed since moving from Spring Valley.  I wish them, as well as our other SCVBL teams, the best of luck in their respective playoff games.  Beyond that, I was pleased to see a decent turnout for practice tonight, despite the poor weather-- we were missing our starting shortstop and our starting first baseman, along with quite a few pitchers, but hey, who needs the extra practice when you're playing a bunch of current and ex-D1, D2, and D3 college players who have put together a 30-7 record thus far this season?  Certainly not us!

I can only hope our enthusiasm and energy that propelled us through another hot July will fuel our state title efforts in Osceola this coming weekend-- we'll be long on pitching and depth, and short on razor blades-- the 'staches are being primed!  Anyhoo, I'll wrap this up for now, and perhaps put in another entry or two before Saturday.  Stay frosty everyone, and don't be afraid to live a little, so long as it's not hurting someone else.

So Close and Yet So Far  (August 5, 2010)

"Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"But you know that smell, that gasoline smell, the whole hill... just smelled like... victory." -- Col. Kilgore, "Apocalypse Now"

Hey there kids, Frenchy back again after a little time off to think about things, and I'm here to announce that the Hudson River Rats are yet again playoff bound in 2010.  After Tuesday's seeding meeting in Chippewa Falls, we found out that we will begin the playoffs in Osceola on Saturday, August 14th at 6 PM against the Onalaska A's.  While this isn't exactly the team I put on my short list for opponents to play, I can't complain too much, if at all.  Fact is, whoever you face in the playoffs is dangerous, and you have to string together five solid games to become state champs.

I would have liked to have announced that we were a #1 seed and that we'd won both of our games last weekend, but as many of you already know, that didn't happen.  The lads took care of business on Friday night in New Richmond with an 8-1 win over the Millers, and then lost a solid battle against the River Falls Fighting Fish on Saturday afternoon.  We can attribute the win to a combination of timely hitting, a relatively small strike zone, and decent defense (and more than likely the reduced velocity of Miller starting pitcher Hayden Zimmerman.)  The Schaff once again smacked the cover off the ball, and despite being down after the first inning 1-0, the Rats played as if they were in charge the whole time.

The same really couldn't be said on Saturday, as Fish lefty Rick Wells worked his way out of a bases loaded jam in the top of the second inning and never looked back-- utilizing solid defense behind him, a great game plan by his battery mate, and a liberally large strike zone.  Uncharacteristically, the River Rats played tentatively in the field, making a season high four errors in the game, one of which indirectly led to the Fish's sole run in the bottom of the fourth.  Saturday's loss marked the second time this year that the squad has been shut out-- the other came from our old Plum City favorite hurler, Tony Garner, back at the PC tourney in May.

Beyond the loss, which wasn't terribly fun, but was certainly deserved, I was pleased to spend the remainder of Saturday evening with (a school of?) the Fish players, fans, and significant others in downtown River Falls.  The Fish truly understand the nature of town team baseball, and they are as close a team as I've seen in a decade of baseball in the St. Croix Valley league.  It reminded me of the teams we had in the early 2000's, only with louder, more obnoxious townies at the games, and more colorful uniforms.  I wonder if Schaff will still glare at the townie who yelled "there's the bun!" if he opts to play for the Fish next year...

As I know some of you desperate housewives and demented dudes are reading this to kill time, I will say thanks to the ten or twenty people who actually go out of their way to stumble here-- I just feel lucky to have spent my time around the league these last ten years or so getting to know everyone from Osceola to Bay City and over to Menomonie and points elsewhere.  I'm still surprised at times by: a) the stupidity of players (stealing home with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, down by seven runs, for instance), b) the generosity of wives and parents (River Falls, New Richmond, and Menomonie for instance, among others), and c) the camaraderie of my own baseball team (mrrrrr... relaxing...)  This doesn't necessarily make me want to quit, it just gives me that warm feeling inside and reminds me that despite the headaches, the hangovers, and the increased number of dings and dents in my car (from foul balls, as always), it's nice to be a part of this great big dysfunctional family we call the SCVBL.

Now do I want to be honest and say that I want to win a state title again?  Absolutely.  Would I like to see one of our other teams win it as well?  Hrmmm...  Only if the Rats can't.  However, it'd be a blast to see six teams from our league in the state finals, wouldn't it?  Anyway, I'd best get back to my actual employment today before a trip back up to Michigan this weekend.  Gotta rest up for the playoffs in nine days or so, you know...  Take care for now, and best of luck to everyone in the WBA playoffs-- hope we can see you all in Tomahawk on the weekend of the 20th-22nd... 

Messin' With Schaff-quatch  (July 27, 2010)

"He lives vicariously through himself...  His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards...  He is the most interesting man in the world." -- Dos Equis Beer Commercial

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -- President George W. Bush

Hello once again to my faithful flock of readers, it is I, Frenchy, here to fill the vast void in your otherwise meaningless and pitiful lives with the wisdom only I possess about my beloved baseball team, the Hudson River Rats.  OK, that's way over the top, but you have to have a little fun these days right?  Well, the "regular" season is coming to a close here in quick fashion, and I'm pleased to say that the Hudson River Rats, despite all the trials and tribulations it has struggled through in the past eight or ten weeks, are still in contention for their first outright league title.  A title that has eluded the squad for 10 seasons, despite having pulled down a state championship in the dark ages of 2002...

Standing in our way, of course, are the New Richmond Millers and the River Falls Fighting Fish...  We play the Millers on Friday night and the Fish on Saturday afternoon, on the road, in front of what we'd expect to be hostile crowds.  However, having won our last 5 league games in a row, and 7 of our last 8, I feel confident about our chances.  After all, with the team once again seeming to gel at just the right time, Jason Hollar, Andy LaBrosse, Mitch Lewis, and Chef Yeti himself all hitting over .335, and our pitching staff ready to go, the pieces are in place...

On the flip side, the opponents we face aren't likely to drop on their back and put their legs up in a submissive position.  I fully expect the Millers to throw everything they have against us in order to try and finish 8-8, praying that a .500 record could earn entry into the WBA playoffs.  Following that, the Fish have to try and sweep us for the second season in a row in order to secure a #1 seed in the upcoming playoff tournament.  It's also likely that they want a little bit of revenge for the loss they endured to our "all-star" squad down in Plum City back in May-- Billy Mays, Grant Miller, and the Asian Pool Boy / secret lover don't take kindly to losing, especially when there's bragging rights on the line.  If we don't face Rick Wells, I'll be a little bit surprised...

Lest I forget, a very special thanks to the Bay City Bombers yet again for their gracious and bountiful fan appreciation day feast at their park last Sunday-- while the Bombers have struggled a bit lately as they transition to a younger nucleus, their 100 year history of baseball is certainly one to tip your cap to.  We wish them best of luck in the off season and we will plan to see a number of the old school Bombers at the 35 & over tourney in late August.  Another round of thanks goes to my good friends on the Menomonie Eagles-- we were fortunate to be joined after our Saturday victory at home for a little post-game imbibing with most of our favorite Beagles and their associated better halves.  Why is it that those guys ALWAYS outkick their coverage with their girlfriends and wives?  I'm guessing they picked up some of the Schaff's pheromones years ago.  Kudos to the Schaff for Chipotle on Saturday as well-- it apparently made him feel like singing and dancing with the 2003 WBA Championship MVP...

Beyond that, I'd best wrap this short entry up, as it's now 2:30 AM and believe it or not, I do have to work in a few hours.  No, I have not been drinking...  Hope to see you at the park...

Going Top Shelf / Thriller  (July 19,2010)

"Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary.  When you start thinking of pressure, it's because you've started to think of failure." -- Tommy Lasorda

"You know how reporters and columnists are-- they want the controversy, they want the negativity." -- Dan Barreiro

Hello, and happy Monday kids-- Frenchy back at it again, and pleased to say that the River Rats have finally gotten to the .500 mark on the 2010 season (at least in terms of overall record), and not a moment too soon.  Last weekend was a mix of rainy weather, high pressure, and impressive composure for the young Rats, as they managed to defeat the scrappy St. Croix Falls River Bandits on the road in a 7-5 extra inning game.  With outfielders Jason Hollar and Chris Kein pacing the offense and Joel Schaffer providing both power hitting and faulty base running, the River Rats took an early 1-0 lead when Kein scored on a bases loaded grounder by Brent Blegen in the top of the third which was mishandled by SCF second sacker Mike VanderPlas.

SCF responded in the bottom of the fourth with their own two out infield chop single/error to score their first run off Rat starter Paul Johnson, who took the mound to start for the first time since his spectacular 2008 season.  Both teams would score a pair of runs in the fifth inning, with batters facing their respective starting pitchers for the third time-- the Rats plated Hollar and Blegen on a 1 out double off the right center fence by Schaffer, who was then caught stealing third base, wasting what could have been an RBI single by Jason Bast.  The River Bandits plated Matt Vold and Steve Siqueiros after a two out walk to Vold and a first pitch homer by the SCF catcher.

Andy Edholm took the hill for the Rats in the sixth inning, and stood to get the win in nine innings when the Rats scored Hollar again on a sac fly by Schaffer in the top of the seventh.  Despite an impressive tag up to move to third on the play by Mitch Lewis, the Rats couldn't bring him home with two chances, stranding him at third, and Blegen at first.  In the bottom of the eighth, SCF struck early, hitting another 2 run shot to take the lead-- this off the bat of Mike VanderPlas, who followed up a leadoff single by left fielder Mike Chelberg.  To his credit, Edholm endured the onslaught, retiring the next three batters in order to keep the Rats within a run.

In the top of the ninth, the Rats used a 1 out rally to score Mitch Lewis, who had singled and moved to second on Brent Blegen's first hit of the day.  Joel Schaffer delivered yet again, singling to center to score Lewis and tie the game, however, he was promptly picked off by the crafty left handed move of Trevor Todd, negating the fly ball out to deep left by Jason Bast to end the threat.  In the bottom of the ninth, Andy Edholm flirted with disaster, issuing 2 straight walks after retiring SCF's leadoff hitter, SS Nick Johnson.  For the second time in a row (the first being in the bottom of the 7th inning) Eddie induced Steve Siqueiros into an inning-ending double play, giving the Rats new life and an extra inning game.

The squad didn't disappoint, as they took advantage of the tiring lefty starter for St. Croix Falls-- Todd impressively struck out Edholm to start the 10th, but then issued a leadoff walk to left fielder Brian Sparstad.  Chris Kein took up the challenge in the next at bat, launching an opposite field shot to left center that scored Sparstad and landed him at second base.  After Andy LaBrosse struck out for the second out, Jason Hollar singled to center, scoring Kein-- Hollar advanced to second on the throw home, but he was stranded when Lewis sharply grounded to the pitcher to end the inning. 

Edholm's performance in the 10th for the eventual win was gritty, as he walked Mike Chelberg to lead off and then retired VanderPlas on a fly out to center for the first out.  When Adam Lewis singled just out of the reach of Paul Johnson (who moved to second base after pitching), Chelberg attempted to reach third, but he was cut down by Johnson's throw to Blegen.  First baseman Kyle Kahl singled to follow, but left fielder Will Ball grounded to short to end the game.

The win moved the Rats to 7-4 in St. Croix Valley League play, and sets the table for an interesting chase for a 2010 WBA playoff berth, as they now head to New Richmond (again) to replay the first of two games against the Millers Wednesday night at 7:30 PM.  Following the Wednesday tilt, the Rats play the Menomonie Eagles at home on Saturday afternoon, and then they head to Bay City to take on the Bombers for fan appreciation day-- both weekend games start at 1 PM.  Special thanks to all of our excellent fans-- you are all wonderful!  See you kids at the park!

Instant Karma, Memories, and Apologies  (July 15, 2010)

"How in the world you gonna see? / Laughing at fools like me?" -- "Instant Karma", John Lennon, 1970.

"The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology." -- Red Auerbach

Hello again kids, Frenchy back here after only a few days to send out an apology to a few teams in the St. Croix Valley Baseball League who were understandably miffed and insulted at my last blog entry listed below from Sunday night.  In the course of writing down my thoughts on baseball sans sleep AND editorial review, I intimated that not only are a few teams untalented, but that they might not know how, or care how, to maintain a baseball field up to the standards one should expect while competing in the SCVBL.  It wasn't exactly my finest or smartest moment in writing various entries on "The Desk", nor did it have any input from the 15 to 20 other individuals playing for the Hudson River Rats this season.

It needs to be noted that every team in our little amateur baseball league, from one through twelve, competes to the best of their abilities for each of the sixteen games on their schedule.  No team has forfeited a game this year, or last, due to a lack of players, and on any given day, each team puts up a fight to win.  Additionally, I have to remind myself that very few people want to read subjective blathering on what constitutes talent and desire.  Amateur baseball doesn't require a license to play, to manage, or to become a fan.  It should require humility, respect, and discipline-- three traits I was sadly lacking in my last entry when I referenced St. Croix Falls, Hager City, and Elmwood in a riff on college level talent.  While those teams don't have to accept my apologies, I sincerely hope that they do...

For the longtime followers of our team, and for close friends of mine, today marks the 1 year anniversary of the death of my best friend and former teammate, Jeff Schultz.  Nary a day goes by when I haven't thought of the guy, be it involving baseball, poker, smoking reefer late at night, or slinging burgers and fries at the Minnesota State Fair all those years ago...  As I've recounted here on many different occasions, the River Rats as such would never have come into existence had it not been for Schultzie-- it was his talent, his work ethic, and his personality that attracted the then disbanding Spring Valley Hawks to get together with yours truly, Matt Pearson, and Jeff to form a new squad in Hudson.  Were it not for Jeff and Matt, none of this would be possible.  It's ironic in a sense that I'd suggest that teams absolutely need former or current college players to compete at a high level of amateur baseball when one of my best friends and best players over the years was Jeff Schultz, who never played at the collegiate level.  (Or Brian Rudesill for that matter, who was the other primary player and architect of the team, but who said that logic and clear thinking was always easy right?)

So whatever you might do today or tonight, think about this-- try and determine who your best friend or friends are (not that it should take a lot of effort), reflect for a while on the fun and good times you've had with said friend or friends, and smile...  Laugh, chuckle, cry, do whatever seems right when you're thinking about your best friend(s) and the time you've spent with them, and then remember that you might not always have them around...  Cherish the moments you have with them ok?

Just Another Manic Sunday  (July 12, 2010)

"Hitting is timing.  Pitching is upsetting timing."  -- Warren Spahn

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."  -- George Carlin

Hello again and good morning to all of my ten readers out there anxiously awaiting another life-changing paragraph or ten here on my little slice of Heaven otherwise affectionately referred to as "the Desk".  I'm relieved to inform those of you out of the loop that my team won its first game back after the 4th of July break yesterday, a 22-3 laugher that came at the expense of the young and unfortunately futile Elmwood Expos.  The game, as I had told a couple of other people earlier via text message, really wasn't even THAT close.  A 19 run victory and it wasn't that close you say?  Now you're just talking smack again!

If only that were true...  Sunday's game was one of what I'd guess to be thousands like it in the annals of competitive (or rather, uncompetitive) amateur sport-- a blowout wherein the loser feels it has absolutely nothing to play for, and therefore simply slogs through, combining frustration, embarrassment, and apathy in an acrid, bitter sweat.  I wasn't sure if I should feel sorrier for my pitiful opponent or for my own team for having shown up to deliver the drubbing-- either way, we did suffer a game stopping injury to our starting pitcher Brian Sparstad, primarily due to poor field maintenance.  Slipping in a hole on the mound after delivering a pitch on what was a sunny, warm afternoon should not happen, not to a 22 year old ace, a 33 year old bench coach / manager, or anyone else asked to throw a baseball.

While I would normally launch into a scathing indictment of the people responsible for such poor field maintenance, I have to bite my proverbial tongue, since after all, this is amateur baseball, and Elmwood is a town that time has forgot (like hundreds of others in the Upper Midwest), at least in terms of its baseball program (if you can call the Expos or any other SCVBL team a "program").  Face it kids, if a squad can barely pull together ten or eleven young men to put on a uniform, with only two or three of the bunch possessing any kind of collegiate level athletic talent, do you expect such a squad (e.g. Elmwood, Hager City, St. Croix Falls) to compete in a league against teams that feature a majority of players with college experience (e.g. River Falls, Prescott, Menomonie)?  Even if that team can compete, who says they have any knowledge or interest in maintaining a baseball field?

Here comes my Dick Siebert inspired rant-- it's not enough to come up with a little scratch and a few sponsors to pay for umpires, new caps, and maybe even a new set of clean, crisp uniforms...  A winning team needs discipline, leadership, and most of all, talent.  Talent that cares about individual quality, about putting on a decent show for its fans, and about maintaining its field.  Is it a lot of extra work?  Of course it is-- success and winning demand effort.  Do you REALLY want to look like the dumb-assed kid whose wears his jeans only half-way up his butt?  Or do you want to look like the slob with ketchup stains down the front of his shirt and a shaggy haircut that screams I don't really give a shit?  Winning is partially embodied in appearance-- you better be a damn good baseball player if you look like you either: a) never visited a gym in your life, or b) just stepped out of a hash bar in Amsterdam. 

Effort reaches beyond simply showing up to a game.  Effort shows you care not only about yourself but about your six or seven fans, not to mention your fellow teammates.  Apathy, as the saying goes, breeds contempt.  The contempt of other teams, the contempt of umpires, and perhaps most importantly, self-contempt.  It's a nasty little downward spiral, and when your team can't see its way through to put in the extra effort, it continues to spin further and further into oblivion.  Well, if not oblivion, then certainly another losing season...

Of course, in previous decades when hard-assed administrators and governors ruled amateur (and semi-professional) baseball leagues, cellar dwelling teams were either forced to improve their efforts, or told to fold.  Those days went out perhaps half a century ago, or not long after town teams were told to stop paying their top players-- we've given in to the egalitarian notion of allowing anybody and anyone into competition, regardless of skill or interest level.  "Wanna join our league?  Just keep your team together for a year and we'll welcome you in with open arms!"  Want to know who came up with that idea?  That's right-- it was me!  I blame myself (and the other guys on the board of directors, of course...)

Does it really matter though?  Shouldn't teams have the chance to compete if they come up with their team dues and actually field a squad for every league game?  You already know what my answer was to that when push came to shove...  In retrospect, however, I might say it hasn't paid off-- expansion of the SCVBL hasn't improved competition.  Competition has devolved. One could argue that expansion has unfairly imbalanced our league's two divisions.  Will I further that argument here?  No.  What I will say for those of you foolish or brave enough to read it is this-- if you're going to put a baseball team together, make damn sure that you have the talent to compete (and no, not just for a bat racing championship at the annual Memorial Day tournament.) 

Procure a legitimate baseball field, one that is properly maintained throughout the season. An un-mowed, unkempt minefield of bumps, weeds, and holes shows blatant contempt for your team and your opponents.  (Not to mention that fields in execrable condition increase the chances of bodily harm to players-- who wants to go to the urgent care clinic or emergency room because they broke their ankle in two places stepping into a hole or caught a ground ball with their now broken incisors?)  Lastly, help yourself as best you can by scheduling your games intelligently, not just for your team but for all the teams in the league...  In other words, keep things balanced!  Don't schedule 2 games in May, 3 games in June, and 11 in July-- you don't have the pitching to work through it...

Now I only wish that I could follow my own advice...

Ramble On  (July 7, 2010)

“And my eyes fill with sand / As I scan this wasted land / Tryin’ to find / Tryin’ to find / Where I’ve been.” – “Kashmir”, Led Zeppelin, 1975.

“If I had ten divisions of those men, our troubles here would be over very quickly  You have to have men who are moral and at the same time are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling, without passion, without judgment… without judgement!  Because it’s judgment that defeats us.”  -- Colonel Kurtz, “Apocalypse Now”, 1979.

Hello again kids—Frenchy here, ready to give you some additional material to fill your otherwise drab and banal lives here in the wasteland that comprises the internet as we know it!  Seriously though, you may have scanned over my opening quotes and wondered to yourself “what the hell is Frenchy going to write about now?”  Has he finally lost what little sanity he possessed?  Or is he just messing with our heads uncharacteristically?  Hard to say at this point, but what I can say is that regardless of who you are, where you are, and why you might be wasting what little time you have on reading this drivel, I’m feeling alright.  Yes, that may seem bizarre coming from a person whose baseball team is currently 9-11 overall, but as the old saying goes, “it could be worse.” 

For instance, you could be unable to read this blog at all, be it due to blindness caused by huffing paint fumes at your factory job just outside of town, of perhaps because you’re in a coma stemming from the accident you got yourself into after drinking too many “purple dranks” with JeMarcus Russell and the rest of his crew.  Maybe you’re unable to read because your parents were too ignorant to keep you in school beyond the age of nine and you went out with them after that to clean houses and pick strawberries until dark, all summer long.  Or, more likely, you’re just waiting for a little bit of info about the old River Rats and just what I’m thinking is going to happen for the rest of the year.  Let’s run with that assumption since it seems most plausible, shall we?

Anyway, the lads have the Elmwood Expos on the schedule this coming Sunday, on the road.  Small park, a more than likely hostile opponent, and I’d guess their best pitcher will be throwing, although they might decide to use their ace against their divisional foe, the Ellsworth Hubbers, on Saturday night.  For the young and normally futile Expos, this could be either a must win game (as all their games basically are from here on out since they’re 5-7 in league play), or simply a “let’s get through it as quickly as we can so we can get to the Sand Bar” kind of a game.  It all depends on how they fare against the Hubbers Saturday night.  As much as I like the Expos—they’re a fun group of guys who really do seem to love the game—they have to play an almost flawless game against us and then hope we play one of our most flawed games of the year.  Even then, I still think we’d have the psychological advantage.

Now coming out and saying that days in advance about an opponent (especially when one is a member of the league’s board of directors) could very well be perceived as cocky, arrogant, cavalier, or condescending, among other words…  Bulletin board material!  “Who the bleep is Frenchy to talk that kind of horse bleep?” others might ask.  Well, the fact remains that I don’t know how the game will go—after all, I never expected to have to tag my fourth starter to throw against Osceola last week and end up in a 14-12 slugfest that resembled the “Night of the Living Dead” in baseball terms.  I didn’t expect one of my most solid outfielders to lose two balls in the lights last week.  I didn’t bank on my rock solid veteran catcher to throw away a relatively easy pickoff throw in the later innings to allow a run to score…  I also didn’t expect to have a few players as I did to start the game. 

However, as John Lennon once sang: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”  Even when you have your best team on the field, you can end up losing badly—however, when my squad is playing a team it normally beats on a given Sunday, I have to say that I’m confident in our chances.  Same thing can be said for the following weekend’s games against the New Richmond Millers and the St. Croix Falls River Bandits…  Those teams will have the fire in their bellies, and the chirpy chirping expected from slightly uncertain younger kids facing teams they don’t like or perhaps even respect.  I hope in some respects they will chirp and that they will make some boneheaded move or moves to fire up our team.  Maybe they’ll have some rube up in the stands yelling out various inane cheers / exaltations along the lines of—“Blow this guy away!  He sucks!”  or my favorite “These guys aren’t any good—they’re from Hudson!”  Good old fashioned heckling, the likes of which we haven’t seen for years—commonplace in Spring Valley, or Osceola, or Bay City years ago, accompanied by various drunken cheers for the home squads…

We haven’t had that for a while, so in some strange, sick way I’m crossing my fingers that we’ll have that in our home stretch of games.  Maybe we won’t—you just never know…  I suspect, however, that for this coming Sunday, we’ll be back at full strength, even if we’re missing our regular left fielder (Kirk Krumrei) and our standard starting first baseman (Mike Weiss).  We’ll have Chef Yeti, Blegs, LB, Mitch “Romney” Lewis, Pimpy Sparstad, Chris “I’m Not Xenophobic” Kein, Andy “Turtle” Edholm, and probably Andrew Moritz.  Tricked Out Travis Borowicz will take the hill, and we’ll see how the lads fare—what sort of tricks they’ll have up their collective sleeves—how much they want to beat the crap out of Elmwood and take their collective lunch money before heading to the stands to take their women…  I’ll just be happy to be there, win or lose.  Actually, that’s a lie—I’ll be happy if we win, grumpy, sullen, and highly discontented if we somehow manage to either get our asses kicked, or worse, if we manage to kick, slap, and throw our way into another avoidable loss.  May the gods award us with a win—even if we aren’t the best team on Sunday!  There, that’s more like it.

See you Sunday, unless I see you first…

The Back Stretch  (July 1, 2010)

"The Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15th" -- Ronald Reagan

"Its pitching, hitting, and defense that wins.  Any two can win.  All three make you unbeatable." -- Joe Garagiola

With an overall record of 9-10 and a league record of 5-3, the 2010 Hudson River Rats enter July with a quick makeup game against the Osceola Braves this evening before a scheduled 10 day layoff, and then sprint towards the finish line with 8 games in 20 days.  While it's not unusual to purposefully take off the 4th of July weekend, it has been somewhat unusual to miss as many starters as the team has this season without injuries.  Timing has been off this year with individuals taking off for various outings, but the old gang promises to make July memorable-- maybe not as memorable as 2009's July, but who knows?

Tonight's game in Osceola should feature the Braves' young high school lefty ace prospect Jared Dettman, from Somerset.  Highly touted, he is expected to land a D1 scholarship potentially before he begins his senior year, although I'm not sure if that's entirely legal...  Having never been offered a scholarship or following those situations too closely, I don't know, but in any case, we will have our hands full tonight against a solid thrower.  Of course, it won't be the first or last time we'll face a stud pitcher this season, especially a lefty (e.g. Matt Hoeft, Menomonie.)  I'm not sure if I'll use Andy Edholm to start or Brian Rudesill, but perhaps I'll wait until game time for my call.

Following tonight's game, I'll be off to Upper Michigan again to visit my parents in Gladstone for a five day stretch of swimming, fireworks, watching Addy, and maybe a little golfing.  I hope to be properly rested before the Rats head down to Elmwood on Sunday, July 11th for a game against the Expos.  Until then, I wish all of you well, and hope your 4th goes well.

Road Trips & Absences  (June 28, 2010)

"Change is inevitable-- except from a vending machine." -- Robert C. Gallagher

"We change, whether we like it or not." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Two weeks since my last update to the desk, and much has happened since my last entry.  First, my squad has gone 3-1 since our game on the 16th, and that's mostly due to the excellent leadership shown by our team's ace and surrogate player / coach Brian Sparstad.  At a time when the team could have been susceptible to a let-down, Sparsy rallied the gang along with help from Jason Bast and even R. Dallas Barabe to a win over the St. Croix Falls River Bandits 11-8 on Sunday, June 20th.  Granted, his pitching wasn't enough to overcome the power of Jeremiah Paulson and the red-hot Ellsworth Hubbers on the 18th, but it wasn't exactly horrible either.

If you throw in the virtual management Sparsy had in our win over the Osceola Braves on the 16th (when I was left to watch the game from the stands with my 4 year old daughter), I'd say the team's in good hands with me or not...  The second thing that happened was the news that the Rats could be losing the services of its lone Yeti player following the 2010 campaign-- information that I'd known about but hadn't verified until last week during a sadly infrequent chat with the former Eau Claire Cavalier.  Stated the Schaff-- "I'm about 85% sure I won't be coming back to the Rats next year."  Of course, this is a quote from the same guy who told me years ago at Adam Bast's wedding reception in what could have been a drunken man-love confession: "You're the best manager ever Frenchy...  As long as you're managing the Rats, I'll play here."  Too much beer, or was he just trying to whisper sweet nothings in my ear like so many others?  Time will tell!

As I'd told our brain trust over the last week, I'm not particularly concerned about 2011 right now-- I'm more concerned about winning our way into the playoffs and making a run at another state title, just like every other contender in the St. Croix Valley Baseball League.  To be perfectly honest, it's been a year unlike others I can recall with so much mixing of positive and negative signs.  The Rats' transition to younger players has potentially led to a greater disconnect between some of us, but it has also forced a greater sense of ownership onto our "muppets" of yesterday.  It has enabled some of us to step back and feel comfortable in knowing that things won't fall apart should we miss a game here and there-- and that might be the best situation for everyone in the future.

With a 5-3 record in the first half of the season, three opponents in the bottom tier of the league to play in the second half, and revenge games to play against River Falls, Menomonie, and New Richmond, the River Rats should be poised to enjoy another good July this season.  Another item to consider with all the talk of change and the background chatter of commitment I've heard over the years is this...  In our first four league games, we missed our starting shortstop for three of them.  In our next four league games, we missed our starting third baseman AND our starting catcher for three of them...  Granted, our opponents weren't as strong in the latter four games, but the point is this-- the team overcame an assumed adversity and showed resiliency.  It did so primarily because of the help from our younger players, a number of whom are only on the team because of Brian Sparstad.  Pimpin' ain't easy, very true, but it's lucrative given the right site and situation.  I'm just glad he's working his pimp skills for my little baseball whorehouse along the banks of the St. Croix River...

But enough of that...  The third thing that happened since the last update didn't even involve the River Rats-- it involved two other SCVBL teams, Bay City and Osceola, who were trying to figure out the best way to resolve a situation where Bay City's scheduled umpire didn't show up.  After a day of e-mails back and forth, I was pleased to see that the league voted overwhelmingly to have the teams reschedule the game instead of forcing a forfeit by the Bombers.  Now if I were a betting manager (I'd be Pete Rose), I'd say that Bay City is an underdog in that game, and they're not exactly blazing a trail of excellence this season-- a 1-8 record up until this point as evidence-- but you just never know what can happen.  I hope that they can figure out a date that works for both teams, play the make-up in Osceola, and go forward from there.  Just my two cents... 

My last two questions relate to my old friend Brent Blegen-- are you healing up after your extended vacation?  Will Ma let you play more than three or four games for the Rats in July, or does she have another trip planned for you love birds?  Drop me a line when you can spare the time...

Here's how the rest of the schedule looks for the SCVBL...

Hope that helps those of you looking around for information...

Travel Weekend  (June 16, 2010)

"And where the hell was I?" -- Lt. Frank Drebin, "The Naked Gun"

Another two games in the books, and another weekend split-- not a bad result by any means, but certainly one that could leave people shaking their head.  The River Rats were fortunate enough to finally schedule and play their second northern road trip weekend in 11 seasons last Friday and Saturday, heading up to play the ever dangerous and talented Brill Millers on Friday night, and the solid hitting Spooner Cardinals on Saturday afternoon.  I should begin by thanking both squads for their excellent hospitality, their enthusiasm, and their help in making the weekend a lot of fun-- I am hopeful that we can make a habit of it in the seasons to come...

In Friday night's tilt, I tapped JR Switalla for the start against the Millers, hoping that lightning would strike twice and that he could replicate some, if not all, of the success he had in his nine inning defeat of the Eau Claire Bears.  Unfortunately, we weren't able to help that cause, as JR allowed five runs in three innings-- three coming in the bottom of the third inning, as a two out Brll rally was helped along by a rare error on an infield pop up by Switalla himself.  The Millers would tack on two more runs in the bottom of the sixth off new pitcher / infielder Andy Edholm, but the Rats were once again the victims of their own inability to produce runs with the bases loaded.

In the top of the first, after a leadoff single by Andy LaBrosse and a fly out to center field by Kirk Krumrei, Jason Hollar took a hit and run sign and laced a line drive into the left-center gap, which should have easily scored LaBrosse from first if he had taken off on the pitch.  Unfortunately, he didn't move on the play and was subsequently stranded on third after Andy Edholm popped out to first base, Mike Weiss walked to load the bases, and Andrew Moritz flew out to center.  In the top of the eighth, the Rats loaded the bases with one out and managed to plate Chris Kein, but they left LaBrosse, Krumrei, and Hollar stranded after outs by Andy Edholm and Mike Weiss.

Following the game, I had the pleasure of regaling old baseball stories with Miller's manager Denny Musil and several of the Miller veterans both at the concession stand and down the road at the Haugen Inn, where we also ran into Steve Salmi and Paul Juza of the Haugen Hornets.  Again, thanks to all of those guys for everything they've done over the years in Brill and in Haugen-- they have helped make the Independent League strong, competitive, and entertaining to watch.

On Saturday, after a late night game of cards up in Trego, the lads recovered and we took on the Spooner Cardinals, with yours truly manning first base for the first inning of play.  Thankfully Jason Bast was kind enough to show up and relieve my pudgy butt from further punishment by the top of the second-- his 1-2, 1 HR, 3 BB performance was far better than I'd ever hope to put up, as the Rats took a close 4-1 game into the top of the ninth inning and turned it into a 12-1 laugher in the rain at Spooner.  Saturday's key performance had to be Brian Sparstad's complete game, four hit pitching.  Sparsy collected eight strikeouts on the hill, and also picked up his first River Rat homer (a 3 run shot) to go along with what were categorized as two doubles-- I think one of them dropped to the side of the Spooner left fielder, but my memory is a bit shaky.

Additionally, Joel Schaffer homered in the ninth inning to push along the eight run explosion.  He would later pay his penance at the ball field, drinking in the rain with Cardinals Josh Villella and Tom Romportl, among others.  Happy 34th birthday to Chef Yeti, happy 46th birthday to Brian Rudesill, happy 37th birthday to R. Dallas Barabe, and from last week, happy 21st birthday to Mitch Lewis.  Hope to see you all later tonight up in Osceola....

Post PC Update  (June 11, 2010)

"Replace your divot."  -- PC Blues infielder Josh Bauer to Blues 1B Shaun Miley during last Sunday's game at Hudson.

After the frivolity, madness, and baseball that comprised the 2010 Memorial Day tournament in Plum City, the River Rats made their way back to normality last week with three challenging games against perennial WBA playoff teams, not the least of which was the Eau Claire Bears, whose reputation precedes itself, even if they aren't trotting out one of their normal stud starting pitchers.

The Rats traveled to Stein Field in Eau Claire to play the two-time defending WBA champion Eau Claire Bears last Wednesday, June 2nd-- rookie River Rat J.R. Switalla threw a complete game against the Bears, winning 7-5.  Switalla allowed 4 hits, 7 walks, 5 runs (4 earned), and 1 hit batsman while striking out 2 Bear hitters.  Offensively, the Rats were paced by the solid hitting of SS Andy LaBrosse (3-5, 2 runs, 2 SB, 2 RBI), CF Jason Hollar (3-5, R, SB, 2 RBI), and IF Mitch Lewis (2-5, R, SB.)  It was a wet and somewhat sloppy game, as the low lights played havoc with Hollar, Chris Kein, and Kirk Krumrei, but an enjoyable win that also marked the return of infielder/pitcher Joel Carlson.

On Friday, June 4th, the River Rats lost to the Menomonie Eagles 8-2 at Wakanda Park in Menomonie.  In a rare mediocre performance by starter Brian Sparstad, the Rats were unable to hold a 1-0 lead they picked up in the top of the first when RF Chris Kein led off the game with a double and a steal of third base, followed by an RBI ground out by CF Jason Hollar.  Menomonie's first four batters reached after Eagle CF Joe Mohr singled, moved to third on an fielding error by River Rat Mike Weiss off the bat of Eagle 2B Tanner Vavra.  Eagle 3B Brandon O'Connell promptly doubled afterward, putting the Eagles up 2-1.  Eagle RF Erik Johnson's 2 RBI double plated the next two runs for Menomonie, and they never looked back.  Eagle starting pitcher Matt Hoeft threw 8 excellent innings, striking out 11 while allowing 5 hits and 2 runs.  Four fielding errors by the River Rats compounded their problems in the latter half of the game.

On Sunday, June 6th, the River Rats took a (1-2) league record into their rematch against the Plum City Blues, only one week after their tournament defeat.  Travis Borowicz once again started against the Blues, and cruised through the first two innings, aided by a 1-0 lead collected by the Rats in the bottom of the 2nd off the bat of newcomer Andy Edholm, who singled in 2B Mitch Lewis with two outs.  The Blues struck back with a two out rally of their own in the top of the third, plating 4 runs on four hits, one walk, and 1 hit batsman.  Fortunately for the River Rats, Borowicz held the Blues at bay for the next three innings before giving way to reliever Russ Jiskra, who would eventually pick up the win with his three innings of work-- Jiskra allowed only one walk while striking out 2. 

The Rats came from behind to win with 2 runs in the bottom of the 7th, and 2 runs in the bottom of the 8th, all off Blues starter Chase Nelson.  2B Mitch Lewis took advantage of a throwing error by 3B Cory Breidung in the 7th, reaching second base on the overthrow and then advancing to third on Mike Weiss' ground out to second base.  Andy Edholm's second RBI single plated Lewis, and he then advanced to second after a sacrifice bunt by SS Brian Sparstad.  Chris Kein's 2 out RBI double scored Edholm to make the score 4-3.  In the bottom of the eighth, Brent Blegen doubled with 1 out, and moved to third on Joel Schaffer's grounder to second base.  Mitch Lewis tied the game with an RBI double of his own, and then scored when 1B Mike Weiss singled for the game winning RBI.

The win moved the Rats to 5-8 overall, 2-2 in SCVBL play.  They will play a pair of games up north this coming weekend, with a Friday night match-up against the Brill Millers at Haugen at 7:30 PM, and a Saturday afternoon game against the Spooner Cardinals at 1 PM in Spooner.
 

PC Revisited, v.11.0  (June 1, 2010)

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life.  It goes on."  -- Robert Frost

"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced." -- Soren Kierkegaard

Another tournament past, and we move together, slowly and sorely in many cases, to our next games in Eau Claire, Menomonie, and Hudson later this week.  As for the Plum City Memorial Day Tournament, I was quite surprised that this marked the first time in 20 years that they actually won the championship game-- a 7-3 win over the Menomonie Eagles.  A tip of the cap goes to the Blues on their victory-- they proved that a squad comprised of old crusty veterans and younger kids can still get the job done, even if they can't run as fast or throw as hard as they used to. 

Normally, the River Rats practice that philosophy on the field, exemplified in our 14-0 beating of the Fighting Fish on Saturday morning.  In that game, the "Metro All Stars" battled the Fish in a tight game for three innings, but then broke out for a snowman when Fish starter Seth Bugar lost control of his fastball-- scoring that inning were every starter except close friends and skateboarding buddies Sean Parnell and Jason Bast.  Brent Blegen's two out, two run homer capped the inning and undoubtedly put the game out of reach.  Unfortunately for the young and eager Fish, the beating resumed in the top of the seventh when the Rats posted another 6 spot on the board, this time capped off by a two out, three run homer by ringer Mike Carrell.  Lost perhaps in the carnage was the great pitching of Brian Sparstad, who chalked up another outstanding start followed by the aforementioned Mike Carrell.

With game 1 out of the way, the majority of the team wandered about the park after the game, taking in the showdowns between Ellsworth and Menomonie in game #3 and the BC-Prescott tilt in game #4.  Some of our other existentialist teammates, fans, and Fish friends on the other hand, decided to go on their own Magical Mystery Tour / bar hopping escapade to Maiden Rock...  When the tour bus pulled back into the campsite, let's just say it needed a good soaking at the local car wash, and a couple dozen disinfectant cloths to take care of the mess inside.  Following that scene was the graceless exit of a certain River Rat who poured out of the front passenger seat and straight onto his stomach-- SAFE! 

Little did the surrounding crowd know, but our young soldier wasn't too far from where I myself had been nearly ten years earlier after a Friday night of fearless imbibing and alcohol poisoning...  The exhausted and emotionally drained R. Dallas Barabe could only shake his head sadly at the scene while the rest of the gang nervously anticipated another argument between yours truly and the Tour Bus Driver...  Fortunately for everyone, we concentrated on keeping watch over the cashed out ex-rapper Vanilla Weiss, letting him sleep off his fun on the turf with a pillow and a sleeping bag.  As we've all found out at some time, it isn't a real trip to PC without somebody sleeping under the stars... 

For the remainder of Saturday evening, after walking downtown with MC to the local watering holes, I spent my night drinking and conversing first with my crew of young turks, and second with my favorite couple, Luke and Angie Welch.  The three of us eventually ended up at Dean's for our traditional drinking of Boone's Farm fortified wine, but only two of us were ambulatory and coherent for the walk home.  On the way back to camp, we pondered the meaning and practice of our lives in the absence of close friends, concluding that the best memorial for them is taking part in what we did with them, be it hunting, baseball, or hanging out around the campfire talking about the best lines from "Dumb and Dumber."  I realized during that short walk how lucky I am to have gotten to know Luke and Angie, how lucky I've been to spend part of my days announcing games up in the booth with Chris Radle, Matt Sperger, and other Plum City Blues over the years, and how especially lucky I am to have earned (or stolen somehow?) the respect of my peers, even if it's just amateur baseball in Western Wisconsin.

When the fog lifted Sunday morning, I headed back downtown for breakfast with the ambiguously gay duo of Brent Blegen and Eric Konsela, breaking bread and the inevitable one-liners from Chappelle's Show and any number of comedies from the past 35 years...  Later in the day, prior to our game with the Blues, I had the pleasure of talking to former Spring Valley Hawk and reported future Fighting Fish (and current Sioux Falls Pheasant) pitcher Ben Moore.  We chatted for a while with Zach Watkins, discussed the sad state of youth baseball, the difficulty of instructing kids at the high school level, and how good it was to simply be at the PC tournament on Memorial Day weekend, even if it wasn't as wild or crazy for us as it used to be...

For game #2, we finally lost to the PC Blues in a tournament game.  In eleven years we have played the Blues six times in the tourney-- four times in the semi-finals and twice on the final day.  The combination of great pitching by Tony Garner and some questionable umpiring led to a 2-0 win for the host squad.  It's simply a shame that our long-suffering starter Travis Borowicz would once again feel the bite of a close call at first followed by the worst balk call I've seen in my decades of baseball.  Before I make it seem that we should have won, let me say we were beaten, plain and simple.  I just feel bad for Tricked Out, because he and Chef Yeti had a great game together.  The Blues converted a two out single/close call by Josh Bauer into a runner at second due to the balk call in the top of the fifth inning.  When Chase Nelson singled home Bauer, I knew we were up against it-- not because Garner was twirling his own gem, but because our momentum had been kicked squarely in the testes (if momentum actually had testes, but I digress...)  Zach Watkins added to the lead when he followed the Nelson single with his own RBI triple to the right center gap...  From then on, we saw what few opportunities exist disappear due to either poor execution (a missed hit and run attempt with Craig Jilek and Jason Bast resulted in a strikeout-throw out double play in the fifth, while a 4-6-3 double play erased a leadoff walk by Joel Schaffer in the bottom of the seventh.)  You take your beatings, especially when the guys beating you had basically propelled your squad to the 2002 state title.  The pay back from the way back...

Following the game, I grabbed my CD case and headed back up to the booth for another pair of games, again assisted by Chris Radle and Matt Sperger...  While our Miller Lite pace wasn't as brisk as the day before, it was still pleasurable.  My sincere thanks to those two guys for their companionship and generosity-- there really aren't any better seats at the park then right there, especially when you control the tunes!  Both the BC-Ellsworth and Menomonie-Prescott games were close, well played, and entertaining games; thanks to those squads for making Sunday a fantastic day for amateur baseball...

In what might have been the only disappointment of the tourney, the bat races ended up being rained out due to scattered thunderstorms in the area-- the Menomonie Eagles retained their title, despite having amazingly lost to the young River Rat racing team just before the storm hit...  The remainder of the Sunday night at the park revolved around the concession stand antics of nearly everybody, be they certain peace officers eating barbeque sauce straight from the bottle, certain wives crawling over the counter and dancing in the stand, or certain player/managers trying to pick a fight with new guys on their team who swing like "little girls".  On the field, the lost art of drunken streaking was again practiced by not only fans but players, proving that there still is a lot of money to be made by the right blackmail artist with the appropriate video equipment.

When all was said and done at the park, I headed downtown with a couple of my favorite Elmwood Expos, Jonah Lansing and Kirk Holt-- Jonah and I concluded that the best way to get the Main Street Junction moving was to break out some Led Zeppelin, and after that I managed to entertain the crowd with some 70's and 80's gems...  Good times, lots of girls dancing, and overflowing urinals.  No, I didn't take a leak in the sink.  I know it's Wisconsin, but I can wait long enough to use the toilet.  Anyway, after discussing baseball, basketball, and the meaning of life with Curly and Bro-nah, we were joined by Sam Giliuson, his girlfriend, and Ned Welch at various times...  The truly bizarre circumstances were yet to come...

I maintained my standard Sunday night closing of Dean's Bar down the street, but I passed on anything crazy-- after all, the Welchs weren't around, and I decided that one drink and a bag of pretzels was good enough for the night.  On my way back to the campsite, Chris Kein asked me for a particular item that I probably hadn't had in my wallet for over ten years, leading him on a search elsewhere for help (yes, he found what he was looking for, in more ways than I care to know, or rather, hear, later on.)  As I settled into my chair and chatted with Mike Schmidt of the Eagles, we were joined by a couple of other Eagles, former pitcher Matt "Mullet" Doornink, and one of their new catchers, whose name escapes me now.  They felt that passing around a bottle of Evan Williams whiskey would be a good idea, and I nearly threw up in my own mouth... Meanwhile, yet another Eagle pitcher, whom we'll call "George", stumbled around our site for a good five minutes, well beyond the means of sobriety or reason.  While George was circling around, we were joined by a young woman who had just gotten out of her car, just yards away from the fire-- seeing that I was warm and cuddly, she decided that I was the best person to snuggle with, eventually doing so for what was probably a half an hour.

I could only watch rather helplessly as George inevitably banked his head off the front of Joel Schaffer's already abused mini-van, and passed out on the turf, bleeding from a cut he picked up after hitting the front license plate...  My only coherent and awake campmate Kirk Krumrei walked over, checked George out for breathing, and let George be.  Thankfully, George lived to head to his car later, and my snuggle buddy woke up, ending up either back in her car or her tent...  Unthankfully, I still had yet to fall asleep, and it was maybe 4 AM.  Not cool dude, not cool at all...

For Monday, I woke up around 8:30 AM, hung out around the campsite until just about game time, packed up my belongings, and got ready for another game against the Prescott Pirates, which we eventually lost 6-5.  Sadly, like our final game of the 2009 season, we held a decent lead, but we failed to execute the basic plays when we needed them, kicking a routine fly ball in the top of the fifth which led to Prescott's second run, and throwing high on a bases loaded grounder to short, leading to Prescott's fourth and fifth runs.  Throwing in the fact that we left the bases loaded TWICE in another game this year really accentuates the point that our situational hitting has been a like a stinky poopy diaper thrown into the campfire by your brother in law...  Despite the game's result, I had to say it was great to see Brian Rudesill twirl a nice little game against the Pirates-- if we help him out in the field, he wins that game hands down.  If we hit with bases loaded and one out, we really win hands down.  Such is life.  Congrats to the Pirates for pulling out the win-- they deserve the credit for keeping their heads in it when they could've easily cashed it in on Memorial Day.

Let me also thank my players again for being there, whether they were in the lineup, not in the lineup, hitting, not hitting, bar hopping, not bar hopping, having sex, not having sex, whatever.  I am grateful for your work, and thankful that you could all make this experience come true in 2010.  Let me thank the Plum City Blues for hosting the tournament, and again congratulate them on finally winning it.  Good things really do come to those who wait.  Especially those that can put up 7 runs on the Eagles...  Thanks also to all the various wives, girlfriends, fans, and players who also make this tournament a reality-- be they the great guys on Ellsworth (Max, JP, Lenny, Cheeks, et. al), the crazy Elmwood crew (Jonah, Tippy, Kirk, Jed, etc.), the always animated and energetic Fish (Josh, Brom, Geebs, Gilby, Sam, Gut, etc.), the Prescott posse (Alex Ross, Thoen, Brady, NJ, Brian Johnson, et. al), and the Bay City crew (Shane, Monte, Ulvy, et. al.)  As for the Beagles, you guys know it's always a privilege to see you, even if you're actually growing up and becoming responsible-- Schultz, Schmidt, A-Lo, Janni, Joe Mohr, Ned, etc.  I'll see you fools this Friday, God willing...

Well that's what I can recall, for what it's worth.  We made it through Schultzie, I only wish you could've been there to share it with us all in person...

Peace and Love,

Chris

Plum City Again  (May 25, 2010)

"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me." -- Hunter S. Thompson

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." -- Hunter S. Thompson

Who can think of the annual Plum City Memorial Day baseball tournament without thinking about the great Gonzo (not the muppet, mind you) journalist and quasi-philosopher Hunter S. Thompson?  Plenty of people, I'm sure of course, but not those of us who've experienced first hand what it's like to spend the better part of a three day weekend at a combination campground / baseball park tucked into the valley of Plum City.  Memorial Day weekend in America is the official start of summer, an opportunity for families to get away for a vacation, for college students to find the nearest party, and for everyone to reflect on not only the sacrifices made by our servicemen and servicewomen, but on the inevitable passing of yet another season in their lives.  A complete combination of these opportunities, however, is not exactly advisable, especially at the Plum City Legion Park campgrounds...

Should one venture to the park for the weekend, it behooves a person to remember that they are in Wisconsin-- a state with "arguably the highest prevalence of alcohol use in the United States."  A 2006 study by the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention noted that the rate of current alcohol use among adults was 69% for Wisconsin residents, and 55% overall for United States residents, with a whopping 76% use rate among adults ages 25-44.  Obviously, these scientists missed anywhere from 18 to 24% of the individuals in that age group who were at the Plum City tournament that year!  Alcohol consumption, like it or not, is a primary activity for participants in the tourney, and is the driving force for the tourney's Sunday night festivities at the park-- the infamous "bat races."

For the uninitiated, a bat race is a relay type contest between two competing teams of four "players" or racers.  Each racer must consume a 12 oz. can of beer (a.k.a. "shot-gunning" or "chugging"), place their forehead on a regulation baseball bat, and then spin around the bat ten times before running directly to second base from home plate and then back home.  The first team to complete the race with all four racers wins.  Having witnessed the last ten races (minus 2001, when I believe I napped through part of the races), I am still surprised that more people haven't sustained serious injuries as a result of their insanity.  I'm also surprised that nobody has sued one of the teams for reckless endangerment.  OK, no I'm not surprised.  I'm actually more surprised that the beverage of choice isn't Jagermeister-- after all, it would speed up the races, result in far more post-race vomiting, and would also mean fewer cans thrown around the infield.  (On the other hand, it wouldn't allow the Blues to dispose of their worst-selling beer(s), and would mean a rather large cost increase due to the price of said liqueur.)

That stated, the bat race competition normally fields anywhere between six to eight teams, normally represented by a combination of teams from the baseball tournament and teams composed of spectators.  In the past handful of years, the races have been dominated by Elmwood and Menomonie, whose players have typically included full-time student athletes, or professional beer drinkers, or both.  The imbibing capacity of both the aforementioned teams has been noteworthy, but legends remain of former Hudson and New Richmond pitcher Rob Beard, who notoriously competed as his own team and won at least one race, if not several...  Other noteworthy performances in past years (at least in my book) were by Andy LaBrosse's sister, and Kim Ingli, whose husband Sam had played for the Blues in the mid to late 2000's.  Both women proved that beer slamming, spinning, and drunken stumbling don't require a set of testes, even if they require one's head to be examined...

Even money is on both Elmwood and Menomonie, and for my money, I would recommend they simply shorten the races to only include those two teams, or at least have an "A" division and a "B" division-- after all, do you really "win" a bat race?  Especially if you spend the rest of your Sunday night ready to puke?  Perhaps...

What of the 2010 tournament though?  The matchups are not that dissimilar to those used in the past ten years or so-- the River Rats open up on Saturday morning against the Fighting Fish at 10 AM-- a not so bold move considering that the River Rat fan base typically tops out at 20 to 30 people, a significant portion of whom do not drink due to age or personal conviction.  The Fighting Fish fan base, however, is a little more boisterous and likely to drink, thereby helping early concession stand income...  Since I can't put money on the game, I'm going to say that it's a toss up-- the Rats will have additional help from some veteran players, but the Fish have arguably the best infield defense in the SCVBL along with the dynamic offense of Brian Giebel, Ryan Gilbertson, and the savvy play of Nate Brom, Josh Eidem, and Joe Paatolo.  Speedsters Clint Kempf and Adam Steussel also add depth to the Fish attack...

The tourney's second game features the host Plum City Blues in their standard 12:30 PM game, facing off against the bat racing demons otherwise known as the Elmwood Expos.  This game's outcome could very well hinge on the performance of Elmwood's pitching, and whether they use Dylan DeMotts to start, or Boomer Keys.  DeMotts could tame a combination lineup from PC, thereby ensuring Elmwood's second straight tourney where they've survived until Monday.  The Blues, on the other hand, are hoping to erase their memory of recent sub-par tournament performances and get back to hosting the championship of their own shindig...  The Blues are a 1.5 run favorite in this game.

Game three features the Menomonie Eagles, who have won the past two tourneys, matching up against the crafty Ellsworth Hubbers.  The Beagles will feature, as always, a lineup dominated by former and/or current UW-Stout players augmented by one or two ringers (ala the River Rats); the Hubbers will trot out a lineup composed of varying players, ranging from Scott DeWyre and Jeremiah Paulson to the Hove brothers and Mitch Johnson.  Once again, pitching will determine the outcome of this contest, as the Ellsworth nine has evolved into a stingy defense and ever dangerous offensive attack centered around Lance Hove and JP.  The Beagle attack will fall on the shoulders of Luke Schultz, Joe Mohr, Andy Podmolik (assuming he makes the trip), and Mike Schmidt.  If Qui Gon Welch can control the force, the Beagles are a 1 run favorite in this game.  Otherwise, they'll be in the consolation bracket...

Game four brings together the perennial SCVBL powerhouse Prescott Pirates and the recently struggling Bay City Bombers for a 5 PM game.  The Pirates, like many SCVBL teams, are transitioning to a younger lineup, but still feature the ever dangerous combination of Alex Ross, Chris Terrazas, Nick Johnson, Nick Thoen, Brady Randolph, Justin Tobias, and Brian Johnson.  The Bombers will feature the Strain brothers, Gregg Ulvenes, and a lot of kids from the Bay City / Red Wing area that I'm not entirely familiar with...  Barring a fantastic performance by the Bombers, the Pirates are a 2.5 run favorite in this matchup...

Where the tourney goes from there is anybody's guess...  The overall odds for winning the tourney might look something like this, however...

Prescott 3-1

Menomonie 4-1

River Falls 4-1

Ellsworth 5-2

Plum City 5-1

Elmwood 10-1

Bay City 15-1

Note that I don't include the River Rats, as I'm hoping we can avoid alcohol poisoning and federal narcotics charges...  See you all soon!

Fish Fry Rats at Hudson  (May 25,2010)

In most circumstances, when teams have the bases loaded with one out, they can expect to score at least one run in that inning, be it from a sacrifice fly, a fielder's choice ground ball, or even a walk.  For the River Rats on Sunday, however, they couldn't muster a single run in those situations in both the first and ninth innings, leading to an eventual 7-4 loss to the River Falls Fighting Fish.  While credit is certainly due to the Fish pitchers for working out of a tight spot two times in the same game, the pattern of poor situational hitting with the bases loaded has sadly hampered the River Rats in several games this year, and was additionally problematic in the final game of the 2009 season.

On a weekend where it certainly looked as though the team could win two league games against the best two teams from the 2009 campaign with only two pitchers, the ninth and tenth innings were dominated by a young and aggressive Fish squad that took full advantage of both poor umpiring and poor River Rat defense.  With a 3-2 lead, the Rats took the field in the top of the ninth facing River Falls' bottom two hitters in the order, plus leadoff catcher/manager Josh Eidem.  With one out, Adam Steussel singled, followed by a sac bunt attempt by Eidem.  The bunt bounced up in front of the plate, hit Eidem in the stomach (outside the batter's box), and then additionally hit Eidem's bat in fair territory, which in most cases would result in the batter being called out and the runner being forced to return to first base.

Sadly for the Rats, the play was allowed to continue, resulting in a throw from Rat catcher Joel Schaffer to first baseman Mike Weiss to retire Eidem.  Meanwhile, the speedy Steussel wisely rounded second base and saw that third baseman Jason Bast was out of position, having argued the call.  When Bast realized he needed to cover third, he yelled at Weiss to throw over, resulting in a throwing error, which then led to Steussel scoring on the play.  The Fish had additionally received two unearned runs in the top of the sixth when Clint Kempf's two out grounder to second was bobbled by Mitch Lewis, resulting in a subsequent throwing error to first.  As Fish shortstop Brian Giebel scored on the first throwing error, Kempf ran to second, but then further advanced on a second throwing error by Joel Schaffer, who had retrieved the errant throw at the backstop.  Right fielder Nate Schurman's subsequent single brought home Kempf for the Fish's second run of the game...

Of course, none of those theatrics would have meant much had the River Rats taken advantage of Jason Hollar's leadoff triple in the bottom of the ninth off Ryan Gilbertson...  While it's a team game, I feel worst for Brian Sparstad, whose grit and determination should have earned him a win, especially throwing 10 innings in 90 degree heat without the benefit of a designated hitter.  We will see how the squad responds this week to the collapse, as it has five days off before Saturday's rematch in Plum City on Saturday morning.  Thanks again to those of you checking out the website and my little blog...

Spring Training Ends / League Opens  (May 23, 2010)

Hello and good morning to everyone stopping by to check out my rambling...  It's been an interesting week thus far, and we still have a tough game ahead of us today against the scrappy and talented Fighting Fish.  When I'd put together my schedule between mid-January and mid-March, I didn't anticipate a problem in scheduling six games in a span of nine days.  Of course, with only a handful of pitchers and a pending defection of veteran players, that bit of masochistic torture has only served to provide us with a couple of ass kickings, a couple of nice wins behind Tyler Dierke, and one quirky performance against an equally young Northfield Knights team last Friday night.  I should also mention that my staff ace, Brian Sparstad was also gone for three of those matchups.  Oh well-- most of the crew is now assembled and should be ready for a hot, sticky, and potentially volatile game at Hudson this afternoon.

I am still awaiting word from my bench coach / general manager R. Dallas Barabe on his return to the squad for 2010...  Rumor has it that he will be uniform next weekend for the Plum City Tournament, but we have yet to confirm his contract negotiations...  Kudos to the lads on our 7-3 victory over the Prescott Pirates yesterday at Firehall Field-- we were doubly fortunate to not only have Tyler Dierke on the hill (prior to his playing with the Eau Claire Cavs), but also to miss playing against the Pirates' Force of Nature, Nick Johnson, as well as his usual caddy, Nick Thoen.  In what turned out to be a windy and hot day after a round of showers and thunderstorms, the Rats jumped out to an early 2-0 lead when Jason Hollar and Andy LaBrosse scored in the top of the first.  Hollar came home on Chef Yeti's first RBI single of the year, while LaBrosse scored on Kirk Krumrei's one-out grounder to Brian Johnson. 

Hollar added another run in the top of the second, scoring on a wild pitch from third base with two outs...  Mike Weiss added the fourth run in the third inning on a ground out by Mitch Lewis, who narrowly beat a potential inning-ending double play.  The Rats repeated their first inning output, scoring Hollar and LaBrosse yet again, this time aided by a solid double to left field by Brent Blegen, which brought home Hollar.  Following a walk to Joel Schaffer to load the bases, Kirk Krumrei grounded out to second, scoring LaBrosse.  The inning ended with a nice play by Pirate second baseman Justin Tobias who snared Mike Weiss's line drive to second, doubling up the Schaff, who had made an early break on the play.

The Rats' final run was scored in the fifth inning when Mitch Lewis came home after reaching on a fielder's choice, advancing on Chris Kein's single to left field, Jason Hollar's single to center, and scoring on another Pirate wild pitch...  The Pirates took advantage of solid hitting by shortstop Chris Terrazas, Brady Randolph, and Justin Tobias, but were unable to break through for a big inning against Tyler Dierke, excepting the eighth inning when a wind-aided liner to right bounced off the glove of Chris Kein, scoring Alex Ross with two outs, followed by another wind addled fly ball to center which was misplayed by Jason Hollar, scoring Dillon Powell.  Jared Powell's sky ball to the right side of the infield almost resulted in another miscue, but Paul Johnson snared the ball and ended the threat.

The Rats opened their league season with a win, marking the fifth year in a row they've done so.  Their last league opening loss was to the Spring Valley Hawks in 2005, when they lost 8-3 at Hudson.  The team finished the season with a 9-4 record in league play that year...

Splittie (May 17, 2010)

Hello again to all of you River Rat fans and groupies!  After a pair of games against the always solid Onalaska A's and Chaseburg-Coon Valley Blues, the Rats managed to earn their first win of year on Sunday, 5-2 over the Blues.  Fortunately for our "Iron 9", the Blues had just gone through a marathon game against the Prescott Pirates earlier in the day, in what had been their second game of the season.  Saturday's game was not as great, as the Rats took one on the proverbial chin in a nine inning loss to the A's 13-6.  Both squads sported fill-ins from other SCVBL teams-- the Rats used Josh Eidem, Nate Brom, and Clint Kempf from the River Falls Fighting Fish, while the A's used Brady Randolph and Dillon Powell from the Prescott Pirates.  Special thanks, by the way, to those guys for coming out to play so we could get the game in!

In Saturday's game, Davis Lenzen returned to the Rats for the start, pitching 4 2/3 innings while allowing 5 hits, 5 walks, 5 runs, 1 hit batsman, and striking out 4.  In Sunday's game, Tyler Dierke showed why he was a highly successful hurler at Kenyon College this past spring, holding the CCV Blues to seven hits and two runs in a complete game win.  Offensively, Jason Hollar and Brent Blegen hit well over the weekend, while Joel Schaffer once again stole two bases in a game, including a steal of home in Saturday's game against the A's.  This marks the sixth season in a row that Chef Yeti has stolen home at least once...  Thanks go out to all of the weekend's players and fans for coming out to the park.  Hope to see you this week at our games!

2010 Season Underway  (May 9, 2010)

Happy Mother's Day to all moms out there-- and you know who you are!  The River Rats started their 2010 campaign yesterday with a loss to the Minneapolis Angels 4-2 on a cold and damp afternoon at Grandview Park in Hudson.  With two Elmwood Expos (Eric Konsela and Jonah Lansing) filling in nicely for some of the squad's missing college players, the Rats gamely played through five errors behind starting pitcher Brian Sparstad and new reliever JR Swittala.  Paul Johnson returned to the team for his first game since May 2009, hitting a bloop double down the right field line in the first inning...  Despite the low temperatures and low turnout, the Rats are looking forward to next weekend's games against the Onalaska A's and Chaseburg-Coon Valley Blues in Hudson.  The team hopes to see the return of at least three college players next weekend, including Mitch Lewis, Chris Kein, and Kirk Krumrei...  Thanks to the fans who made the game, and also thanks to our fill-ins-- see you all next weekend!

Back Home...  (April 18, 2010)

Wow...  It's been so long since I updated this blog that I've forgotten how to use a keyboard.  Anyway, the family and I just returned from a week long vacation out to the Williamsburg-Hampton Roads area of Virginia and we're glad to be back.  We aren't sure how we spent as much money as we did, but the area was nice, and we got to see an area of the country that I'd never visited before-- it's worth the effort in my book, but that's just me.  Besides that, we were able to catch a game at Nationals Park on Friday night (the Nationals beat up on former Twin La Troy Hawkins and the Brewers for a come from behind victory 5-3) and a game at Target Field earlier this afternoon (nice day, not so great Twins pitching in a 10-5 loss to the perpetually poopy KC Royals.)  I like both stadiums, to be honest-- although I'm guessing I'll see a few more games at Target Field than I will at Nationals Park-- good seating, excellent amenities, and nice sightlines from nearly everywhere.

The River Rats will hopefully get a practice session or two in this week in Hudson, weather permitting of course-- the league schedule will be finalized and sent out to the local media later in the week...  Needless to say, there are more than a few guys chomping at the bit to get out and prepare for the 2010 season.  The unusually early spring has thrown things off a bit, but I'm confident that the Rats will have everything ready to go when they start the league season out on Saturday, May 22nd against the team that ended their 2009 season, the Prescott Pirates.  Following that, we'll get to face off against the River Falls Fighting Fish, who took down the North Division title last year...  Not the easiest of starts, but you have to play the good teams sometime, eh?

On a sad note, our condolences go out to former River Rat Matt Barnard regarding the loss of his father Chuck, who passed away last Thursday at the age of 65 following a tough battle with prostate cancer.  Professor Barnard was a long time faculty member at UW-Stout who established one of the world's first accredited master's programs in the field of Marriage and Family Therapy, retiring in 2003 as professor emeritus.  Services will be held this Wednesday afternoon at the United Methodist Church in Menomonie at 4:30 PM...

Schedule Nears Completion  (March 15, 2010)

The River Rats are one step closer to the 2010 season as they scheduled their northern road trip in mid-June to the Rice Lake / Spooner area with games against the Brill Millers and Spooner Cardinals.  The Spooner game was verified early last week and puts the Rats in excellent shape with only a modest gap between late June and early July... 

2010 River Rats Baseball Season Approaches  (March 7, 2010)

With the 2010 schedule nearly complete, it is only a matter of time before we return to the field in search of that elusive 2nd WBA state championship trophy for the team.  While this season will invariably bring a great deal of change to the River Rats squad, the expectations will be just as high as in past campaigns.  The River Rats will play their standard 16 games in St. Croix Valley League action, with trips to Prescott, Elmwood, Ellsworth, and Bay City from the south division, and 2 trips to both Osceola and New Richmond (along with games in St. Croix Falls, Menomonie, and River Falls.)  2010 will also bring a return of the squad to St. Paul's Dunning Field for a pair of early games-- May 6th against Sport & Spine (formerly O'Gara's / Steichen's) and May 19th against the newly formed St. Paul Capitols.  Among other non-league games, the Rats will once again play the Minneapolis Angels, the Chaseburg-Coon Valley Blues, the Onalaska (formerly LaCrosse) A's, the Eau Claire Bears, the Northfield Knights, and the Brill Millers.  As of this posting, we have yet to schedule the Haugen Hornets or Spooner Cardinals...

With minimal chatter from the team this winter, we are hoping that no news is indeed good news.  On the other hand, it was revealed that four of the team's veteran players are planning to move to the 35 and over baseball realm in Woodbury to join the Legends on a full-time basis.  While the indication is that they could return as needed, it means that more playing time will be readily available for the younger contingent of Rats.  Beyond that, there is little to pass on to our fans and interested web surfers about the team...  More to come later!

Off-Season Marks Time of Waiting  (December 10, 2009)

My sincere apologies to those of you few individuals bored enough to see what is new here on the River Rats website here in the cold, dark, snowy, and windy days of early December here in the Upper Midwest.  Since the last entry, there has been little in the way of speculation on the 2010 Hudson River Rats baseball team-- who is returning, who is departing, and how good or bad the team will be...  At present, two players from the '09 squad are attending UW-Madison, one is attending UW-LaCrosse, one is attending UW-Oshkosh, one is attending UW-Eau Claire, and three are attending UW-Stout.  Two other players from the squad are also in their freshman year of college, one at Kansas State, and the other at Kenyon College in Ohio.

Besides the aforementioned youngsters, SP Brian Sparstad is now gainfully employed in the Twin Cities metro area, as is '08 St. Olaf grad Jason Hollar.  Jason's teammate with the Oles should return to the Rats in 2010, one Paul Johnson, who could further bolster an already solid pitching staff...  While it is likely that most of the 2009 players will come back in 2010, there are numerous individuals who have held out their commitment due to concerns about the strength of the team, the 2010 schedule, and questions about leadership and long-term management of the team. 

The Rats have a tentative schedule for league games in 2010, but have not contacted any other teams for games next year-- with a team seemingly split between college aged players and seasoned, salty veterans, there are a great many issues to discuss with non-conference games...  Additionally, the possibility of adding even more players from Hudson High School's baseball program adds another dimension to the equation...  What is not in question is the depth of players on the roster, and the strength of the team's pitching and overall defense.

While the team remains hopeful that its core players will return, the question is for how long in some cases...  3B Brent Blegen is likely to depart for Madison sometime in the spring or early summer, as his wife now works there full time...  Chase Graskewicz may opt to play in another state following his season at Kansas State University, and even if he returns to Hudson for the summer, he would likely opt to once again play in Eau Claire for the majority of the summer...  Tyler Dierke indicated that he might also stay around Ohio next summer, or try to play in a summer wood bat league elsewhere in the country, although that hasn't been verified...

Beyond those players, the team expects the remainder of its 2009 roster to return...  Indications that 2008's offensive MVP, Sean Parnell, might return to play 10 to 15 games in 2010 are weak-- negotiations continue throughout the winter, but Parnell's agent hinted that he may opt to either play softball again or simply spend the summer weekends with his family.  Longtime general manager and bench coach Rob Barabe has also strongly hinted that 2009 could have been his last season with the Rats; his agent stated that she will support his decision either way, but that golf and fishing could lure him (no pun intended) away from a 2010 return...

On a side note, the River Rats offer their condolences to the Menomonie Eagles and the Welch family regarding the loss of their former teammate and friend Troy Gustafson last month.  As has been stated previously, it has been a hard year for many of us in the St. Croix Valley Baseball League losing close friends to the Great Beyond...  In the meantime, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars, as Casey Kasem always said...

Denim Days Five Strangely Understated  (October 21, 2009)

Allow me to take the time to say thanks to everyone who attended our little fund-raiser / costume party last Saturday afternoon / evening at Pudge's Bar in downtown Hudson.  I'm not sure how much money was raised, but I understand that nearly everyone had a good time, whether they left before 6 PM or well after that.  Mike Eicher, Joel Schaffer, Rob Barabe, Brian Sparstad, Jason Hollar, Brian Rudesill, and Craig Jilek all made appearances along with former River Rat players Shaun Miley, John Meyer, and Sean Parnell.  Thanks also to River Falls Fighting Fish player Nate Brom who not only helped with attendance but also kept track of the fundraiser for us after the Wisconsin Badger football game...  Another tip of the cap goes out to Ellsworth Hubber player Garrett Birkel and his family for dropping by later in the afternoon to "see what it was all about."

I believe that the tightest denim outfit award was won by Jason Hollar, whose $15 outfit evoked memories of the Village People circa 1979-- although the cowboy hat and pheasant feather should have been replaced with a yellow hard hat...  The shortest shorts outfit went to none other than Joel Schaffer, who made every concerted effort to pick up items off the floor so as to display his hairy butt and adequately toned (but not chiseled) gluteals.  Best denim suit and jacket award went to Brian Rudesill, although a close second went to Shaun Miley-- I wondered that day if they ever would've figured in 1988 that they would be standing together in a Hudson bar 21 years later in nearly matching denim suits and boots.  Something tells me they knew...

As of this morning, on Wednesday, October 21st, I have no photos from the event to share with my extensive fan base throughout the world...  IF they become available, I may post them here.  Otherwise, I'll link to wherever they may be (probably on Facebook.)  I was also informed that the team will begin its search for a new general manager following the likely retirement of Robert Dallas Barabe this fall.  Barabe cited differences in coaching philosophy, interest in competitive fishing, and diminished pinch hitting opportunities as primary reasons for his departure...  Various River Rat players have stated that they would prefer to see him stay on, however, and will be keeping in contact with Barabe to try and renew his contract for 2010.

Best wishes to all of our academic achievers in college at this time-- may your studies go swimmingly, even in the face of a four day weekend trip to Madison (or any other notorious party town-- say for instance, Eau Claire, La Crosse, or Menomonie...)  Congrats also to Spars on his new employment with Xcel Energy-- working for the MAN should pay quite well!  Thanks again to all of our friends, teammates, associates, and life partners for their attendance at Denim Days-- hope to see you all again soon...

Denim Days Starts at 11 AM, GM Says...  (October 7, 2009)

As a public service for the 20 to 30 people who are planning on attending Denim Days, the official start of the event will be 11 AM at Pudge's Bar & Grill in downtown Hudson.  You may resume your surfing activities...  That is all...

Fall Sinking In, Denim Days Approaches  (October 7, 2009)

The MLB playoffs are finally taking place today and it's still difficult to believe that the Minnesota Twins managed to wend their way into their fifth American League Central Division title.  As has been mentioned elsewhere, the Twins had to win 17 of their last 21 games to accomplish the aforementioned task-- a solid showing with a completely healthy team, but even more impressive considering the losses of Justin Morneau, Kevin Slowey, Joe Crede (no shock there, of course), and Glen Perkins.  On top of that, they were able to conduct the historic stretch drive together with Matt Tolbert and Nick Punto playing everyday-- sub .230 batting averages in tow...

Of course, trotting out the game's best hitter, and best hitting catcher of all time (in terms of single season batting average, mind you) never hurts you.  Nor does it hurt to have one of the game's best closers jog in from the bullpen if you have a lead in the ninth inning...  While I'm the cynical type who normally becomes noticeably nauseous when hearing the time worn "we never stopped believing in ourselves" cliches, it's difficult to fault a Twins team that never seemed to throw in the towel-- even when they split last week's four game series with the Tigers...  Or when they had to face up against the 2009 Cy Young contending Zach Greinke in the last series of the season against Kansas City...  They kicked ass and took names, one by one. 

I was fortunate enough to watch the Twins play in Kansas City on September 25th and 26th, and they didn't disappoint-- from Denard Span's 4 for 5, 6 RBI performance against Lenny DiNardo to Orlando Cabrera's clutch 3 for 5 performance in a losing effort against Greinke, the team played excellently.  Along with Span and Cabrera, the oft-injured (at least in 2008) Michael Cuddyer found his power stroke down the stretch, not only winning the October 3rd game with an eighth inning solo homer, but also hitting nine other homers in September and October, along with 29 RBI in that timeframe.  Jason Kubel also contributed 6 HR's and 26 BI in the last five weeks of the season-- giving the squad a nice boost after Morneau's injury.  The biggest story in the local papers, though, was the emergence of Delmon Young's bat after a nearly two year absence-- Young has hit in nine straight games for the Twins, and has had only four games without a hit since September 1st.  Not shabby considering the fact that he spent seven straight games in Ron Gardenhire's doghouse in late July... 

On a side note, since I'm on the subject of Young and Gardenhire, did everybody notice how incensed Gardy was at Young when Delmon tried to throw out Miguel Cabrera at third base with one out in the top of the 12th?  What the hell is the point of trying to peg a guy going from first to third with one out?  Even if you do manage to nail Cabrera, the Tigers had a shot with Don Kelly at second base-- a guy who already scored in the 10th on a Brandon Inge double that YOU had to field!  One can hope that Young won't have to make another tough decision like that against the New York Yankees in the LDS...

Ah yes, the Yankees.  Same squad that's owned the Twins for years-- since 2002, the Twins have gone 6-25 against the Bronx Bombers. The Yanks are 6-0 against the Twins in 2009-- including three dramatic wins of their own at THEIR new ballpark in May.  Not exactly what you would call a great matchup, but with the Little Train That Could attitude carrying them into the Taj Mahal of Major League Baseball (along with the invariable hangover from last night's celebration), who knows what will happen?

On a lighter note, I'd take some additional time to briefly mention last weekend's border battle football match-ups, but that wouldn't accomplish much for me-- the Badgers outclassed the Gophers at the new TCF Bank Stadium (again, no surprise there-- superior coaching staff, superior team), and the Vikings used the hype, hyperbole, and hypnosis of the aging Brett Favre to beat the Packers.  There's a LOT of football remaining to be played.  There isn't a lot of baseball left to be played, on the other hand...

Regarding the team's annual soiree in cotton twill textiles (otherwise known as Denim Days Five, keep the Cameltoe alive), it will be held on Saturday, October 17th at Pudge's Bar & Grill in beautiful historic downtown Hudson.  Expected arrival time is 1 PM, although the hard core denimistas normally show up at 10 or 10:30 AM to enjoy preliminary liver abuse.  Several current and former River Rats will be entertaining an otherwise unsuspecting crowd, and the team will attempt to raise some funding for the 2010 season through various schemes devised by current general manager Rob "Sensei" Barabe and his wife Carrie.  Chef Yeti Schaffer has also hinted at unveiling his new cookbook at the event as well-- "Cooking With Sasquatch and Friends" is bound to include many of his favorite dishes devised in the kitchens of Eau Claire, Hudson, and Apple Valley, as well as anecdotes from many of his drinking compadres of the 1990's and 2000's. 

That's all for now-- may your beer mug be filled, and may your hearts feel healthy and unclogged-- thanks for visiting!

Pirates Sink Rats, End Remarkable 2009 Season

(August 16, 2009)

Despite the best efforts of an incredibly hot River Rat baseball team playing with focus and inspiration, the 2009 season ended on Friday night in an epic battle with the Prescott Pirates at the Haugen Ball Park, 7-6.  The River Rats finish the season with a 22-10 record, having lost twice to River Falls, once to Prescott, once to Chaseburg-Coon Valley, once to the repeat WBA State Champion Eau Claire Bears, once to the Minneapolis Angels, once to New Richmond Millers, once to the Menomonie Eagles, once to the LaCrosse Athletics, and once to the St. Croix Falls River Bandits.  The team's 17-2 finish in its final 19 games was truly remarkable considering that it lost the services of starting pitcher Russ Jiskra for half of the season and suffered the shock of Jeff Schultz's death on July 15th.

Friday night's game was a classic see-saw battle between two evenly matched squads with their respective seasons on the line.  The Rats took an early 3-0 lead off Pirate starter Mike LaBarbera when Jason Hollar led off with a single and eventually scored after Andy LaBrosse walked and Brent Blegen singled.  After Blegen was forced out on a fielder's choice by Joel Schaffer putting runners at the corners, DH Jason Bast hit a shot into the left center gap and jogged into second base with a 2 RBI double.  Unfortunately the Rats were unable to score Bast even after a Paul Ruppert single, as it hung up enough to keep Bast from running on the play-- Mitch Lewis struck out for the second out and Craig Jilek (who would eventually collect three hits) popped out to second base.

Prescott responded in the top of the second with two runs of their own when C Nick Thoen singled to lead off, and then advanced to third after a stolen base and a throwing error after LF Brady Randolph struck out.  3B Jim French grounded to Sparstad, holding Thoen at third, and it appeared that the Pirates might be held scoreless, however, 1B Brian Johnson worked out a walk, and then 2B Justin Tobias lined a first pitch fastball into the right center gap for his own bases clearing double, making the score 3-2.  After that, RF Alex Ross reached on an error by Mitch Lewis, moving Tobias to third, but CF Dillon Powell grounded to short to end the inning. 

Neither team scored again until the top of the fourth, when the Pirates picked up a run.  Alex Ross's 1 out walk enabled him to attempt a steal of second-- when Schaffer's errant throw bounced past both middle infielders and Jason Hollar in center field, Ross scampered home.  The Rats responded with one run of their own after Craig Jilek scored on Jason Hollar's two out RBI single.  In the bottom of the fifth, Joel Schaffer led off the inning with a triple to left center, and scored on Jason Bast's RBI fielder's choice to shortstop.  Unfortunately, the Rats couldn't contain the Pirates in the top of the sixth, when they plated three runs.

Brian Johnson led off the inning with a single, and then moved to second when Justin Tobias was hit by a pitch.  Brian Sparstad was pulled out of the game for reliever Dave Leske from Osceola, but after Johnson and Tobias moved up on a passed ball, Alex Ross roped a 3-1 offering from Leske into the right center gap past a diving Chris Kein in right field, scoring 2 runs.  Ross scored on a subsequent single by Dillon Powell, and the Pirates were once again on top, 6-5.  Neither team would score again until the bottom of the eighth, when the Rats had a chance to break open a very tight match...

With Plum City draftee Tony Garner on the hill for Prescott, Mitch Lewis led off the eighth with an opposite field single, followed by a checked swing single to center by Craig Jilek.  When RF Chris Kein walked the bases loaded, the Pirates went to their pen to bring in their ace, Nick Johnson.  Jason Hollar tied the game with a sacrifice fly to center, scoring Lewis.  Andy LaBrosse walked the bases loaded again, and with the middle of the Rats' batting order coming up, it looked like another big inning was in line, however, Johnson bore down and struck out Blegen on three pitches, and then induced a grounder to second base to retire Joel Schaffer.

Prescott would score the winning run in the top of the ninth when Nick Thoen led off with a single, advanced on a sac bunt to second, and then scored on Jim French's double to right center.  In the bottom of the ninth, Johnson retired the Rats in order, preserving the win for the Pirates, who advanced to the state championship semi-finals for the second time in three years.  Prescott would subsequently lose to the Haugen Knights in dramatic fashion on Saturday, 9-8, in yet another see-saw battle.

On the year the Rats went 22-10...  1B Craig Jilek was the team's playoff MVP, having gone 9-13 in three games with 4 runs and 4 RBI...  Tyler Dierke was the River Rat rookie of the year, having gone 8-0 on the season with an ERA of 2.65.  Jason Hollar was the team's offensive MVP for 2009 while Andy LaBrosse and Brent Blegen were the team's defensive co-MVP's.  Brian Sparstad would earn the team's pitcher of the year award with an 8-3 record and a 3.85 ERA, having pitched 2 shutouts (including a shutout of the Pirates in June and a shutout in the semi-finals against Bayside.)  As always, I would like to thank my good friend Rob Barabe for his selfless commitment to the team in 2009, especially after he'd nearly retired when Sean Parnell and Paul Johnson were unable to come back this year.  Kudos also to Brent Blegen for joining the team and bringing a great attitude and an even better glove to the squad at third base and at catcher... 

Another tip of the cap goes out to all the new kids who joined this year-- Davis Lenzen, Mike Weiss, Chase Graskewicz, and Tyler Dierke-- it was literally the first time in ten years where we actually finished the season with more players than when we started.  That is both a testament to winning, and to making the commitment to playing for a state title.  I am thankful and honored to have once again managed the River Rats in 2009, and am grateful for all of my players, fans, and the support of family and friends during what was a very trying July.  It is still hard to believe that my great friend Jeff Schultz is no longer with us, but I'm confident that he was pleased at the efforts the team made in his memory during the last four weeks of the season.

While next season is still too far away to consider, I am hopeful that we will all be around next spring, and that we can once again make another exciting run towards a second state WBA title.  See you soon at the end of the year party, and if not there, then certainly at Denim Days this fall...

Chris

Rats Take Two at Carson Park and Head to Haugen

(August 9, 2009)

The Hudson River Rats will make their second WBA Finals appearance in ten seasons this Friday when they play in game one of the 2009 Finals tournament against their SCVBL south division rivals, the Prescott Pirates at 6:30 PM in Haugen.  The Rats accomplished this with two wins at Carson Park in Eau Claire in the semi-finals against the Bayside Vipers (10-0 in 7 innings on Saturday morning) and the Spooner Cardinals (12-5 on Sunday morning.)  Sporting playoff "porn staches", Brian Sparstad and Jason Hollar enjoyed excellent performances against the Vipers, with Sparsy throwing a 7 inning, two hit shutout, and Hollar hitting a two run shot over the right field party deck to make the game 9-0.  In Sunday's game the Rats fell behind 2-0 in the first before responding with two unearned runs in their half of the first, scoring both with two outs...

The squad would then pour on five more runs in the bottom of the third, all with two outs-- Joel Schaffer's double to left was followed by a long shot over the left field fence by Jason Bast.  Following walks to Paul Ruppert and Chase Graskewicz, Craig Jilek picked up an RBI single up the middle, scoring Ruppert.  Mitch Lewis's hit and run single to right scored Graskewicz, and then Jason Hollar's single to center scored Jilek.  The Cardinals made the game interesting in the top of the sixth by scoring three runs-- two with two outs, aided by rare errors made by Brent Blegen and Mitch Lewis.  Draftee pitcher Dave Leske of the Osceola Braves came in to close out the madness, getting a grounder to short to end the inning with the score at 7-5. 

The Rats responded in kind in the bottom of the sixth, with another two out rally, plating 5 runs.  Ruppert's two out walk was followed by a seeing eye single to right by Graskewicz, an RBI single by Craig Jilek, an RBI double by Mitch Lewis, and a 3 run shot by Jason Hollar over the party deck to make the score 12-5.  The team looks forward to next week's finals at Haugen, and I tip my cap to everyone following the squad on their run this season.  We only hope we can bring it in for the big win in memory of Jeff Schultz.  See you at the yard!

League Season Ends  (July 26, 2009)

The Rats concluded their 2009 St. Croix Valley Baseball League play this afternoon with a win over the Bay City Bombers, 5-0.  In a fairly ho-hum matchup between Bay City, who was playing their fourth game in four days, and Hudson, who was still recovering from the previous week's loss to St. Croix Falls 8-6, it was Tyler Dierke who took over the action and kept the Bombers from crossing the plate, despite threatening in two innings with runners in scoring position.  Dierke earned another win, a complete game effort, giving up 4 hits, 4 walks, and a hit batsman while striking out 16 Bombers...  The Rats picked up 4 runs in the bottom of the fourth off Bay City starter Tony Schultz, and cruised to their 12th league win on the year, matching last year's total...  Both Paul Ruppert and Craig Jilek went 2 for 4 with a run scored, while Ruppert also collected an RBI single in the bottom of the eighth.  Jason Hollar's 2 RBI single had broken open the scoring to 3-0 when he plated Jilek and Mike Weiss on a shot up the middle.

On Friday night, the Rats utilized the big bats of Joel Schaffer (2 for 5, HR, 2 runs scored, 5 RBI) and Jason Bast (2 for 3, 3 runs scored, 3 RBI) en route to a 12-4 win over the Hager City Skeeters in Hager City.  Despite scoring 12 runs, the Rats left a whopping 13 runners on base.  Starter Brian Sparstad was a bit rusty after a two week layoff, but he picked up the win, throwing 7 innings while allowing 7 hits, 5 walks, and 4 earned runs.  Davis Lenzen closed out for the Rats, pitching 2 scoreless innings while allowing 2 hits and a walk.  Also of note was Jason Hollar's 1 for 3 performance, as he scored 3 runs and stole three bases.  A tip of the cap to R. Dallas Barabe and Chef Yeti for showing off their poker skills and large bankrolls in our poker game afterwards...

On deck this week will be the Eau Claire Bears in a warm-up match for the WBA playoffs at Hudson on Friday night, and a single game matchup to be named later this week at the Plum City Invitational tourney held next Saturday afternoon in PC.  Thanks to everyone who made the last game of the season, especially my brother in law Dan Wahlman, my sister in law Kathy Wahlman, my wife Karalee, and Jason Hollar's parents for providing the food and refreshments for the fan appreciation picnic after the game today...  Thanks also to all of my players who attended the memorial gathering for Jeff Schultz on Thursday night-- you are all wonderful and thoughtful people, and I know I feel fortunate and blessed to have such great guys on my baseball team.  Wherever Jeff is right now, I know he feels the same way about you.  Even if he is having a Kool and a Mountain Dew out at his favorite golf course...

In Memoriam, Jeffrey Patrick Schultz

(July 21, 1970 - July 15, 2009)

Roll Tide  (July 11, 2009)

Two more league games this past weekend, and two more victories.  Impressive.  At least it would be impressive if you were paying attention to the Rats, and chances are, if you're reading this, you're keeping tabs on us...  Friday's 16-4 win over the Ellsworth Hubbers was an exhibition in the power of hitting in the bottom third of one's batting order-- 3B Joel Carlson (making what was basically a rare start since Brent Blegen's arrival), 2B Mitch Lewis, and RF Chris Kein totaled 9 runs, with 10 hits, a double, two stolen bases, and 4 RBI among them.  The game was also noteworthy for the fact that every starter collected at least one hit each...  Save for LF Kirk Krumrei, who picked up an RBI on his own, every starter also scored at least one run... 

Starting pitcher Davis Lenzen threw four + innings, allowing 4 hits, 4 runs, a home run, and 6 walks while striking out 3...  "Filthy Phil" Carlson came in for the final 3 innings in a shortened game, giving up only 2 walks and a hit while picking up a strikeout for the victory...  On Saturday, the Rats avoided a possible let down against the Menomonie Eagles with a 4-3 win at Hudson.  The game was a classic pitcher's duel between Eagle lefty Matt Hoeft and Rat righty Brian Sparstad for 8 innings.  Threatening in the bottom of the second with bases loaded and one out, Hoeft struck out RF Kirk Krumrei and CF Jason Hollar to keep the score tied at 0.  The Beagles opened the scoring in the top of the third when SS Dave Rueber singled to center, scoring C Joe Mohr, who led off with a single and was sacrifice bunted to second.  In the bottom of the third, Joel Schaffer picked up a 2 out double to left, but was thrown out at the plate by CF Tanner Vavra after a sharp single to center by 1B Jason Bast...

The Rats finally broke through in their half of the seventh with a seemingly rare two out rally when 3B Brent Blegen singled to center and then scored after Joel Schaffer cranked a homer to straightaway right field.  The lead wouldn't last long, however, as Beagle Joe Mohr led off the eighth with a walk, moved to second on a sac bunt, and scored on a single by Luke Welch.  1B Mickey Boyle singled home Dave Rueber, but the Eagles stalled when Luke Welch was thrown out at the plate on his brother's single to left by Paul Ruppert.

In the bottom of the eighth, the Rats tied the score at 3 when Brian Rudesill hit a 1 out single and moved to second on a subsequent Mitch Lewis single.  With Chris Kein pinch running for Rudesill, Kirk Krumrei punched a single to right field, leaving runners at the corners with 1 out.  The Eagles brought in Ben Sivertson to try and pick up the decision, and he managed to keep Lewis at third by retiring Jason Hollar on a short fly to left followed by a ground out to third base by Andy LaBrosse.  In the ninth, Tyler Dierke settled in, retiring Vavra, Luke Schultz, and Joe Mohr in order.  The Rats led off the bottom of the ninth with a single by Brent Blegen, a walk to Joel Schaffer, and a sharp single to right by Jason Bast.  With Davis Lenzen running for Blegen, it appeared as though the substitution could backfire when Paul Ruppert lined out sharply to center and Davis failed to tag up on the play...  However, Chris Kein saved the day by walking on four straight pitches, earning a game winning RBI in a clutch situation.

The wins moved the River Rats to 14-8 overall, 9-3 in St. Croix Valley Baseball League play.  They now lead the North division over Osceola (7-3), New Richmond (8-4), River Falls (7-4), and Menomonie (6-6) with four league games remaining-- the second place Braves in a pivotal matchup on Friday night, July 17th, St. Croix Falls on Sunday, July 19th, Hager City on Friday, July 24th, and Bay City on Sunday, July 26th.  The wins also moved the Rats winning streak to nine straight, which is a team record, surpassing the previous mark of eight straight wins (done in 2006, which coincidentally was the last year the Eagles beat the Rats in league play, a fact that surprised me when I went to check the old records!)

A tip of the cap to our friends in Ellsworth for their hospitality on Friday night, despite the results of the game, and also to our Beagle buddies who gamely met with us at Pudge's and also at Rudy's for the post-Independence Day party and fireworks show...  Thanks as well to Mike Eicher, Nate Stellrecht, Rob Barabe, and all of our bench for keeping up the positive attitudes and witty banter this weekend-- it's been an enjoyable season to sit back and watch the team continue to develop and establish itself-- a development we plan to extend next weekend when we travel to Osceola and St. Croix Falls...  See you at the yard...

Dirty Dierke and other things...  (July 7, 2009)

Just another short update for the week before our tilts this weekend at Ellsworth and Hudson (against the Beagles)...  The squad put another win up last night with an interesting 5-3 victory over the division leading Osceola Braves up in Osceola...  FNG starter Tyler Dierke had a nice performance, going 6 1/3 innings, allowing 8 hits, 1 earned run, and a walk while striking out seven Braves.  Reliever Travis Borowicz picked up the save, throwing 2 2/3 innings, allowing five hits, 1 walk, and 2 earned runs while striking out 2 hitters.

Jason Hollar continues to kick ass and take names this year, as he went 2 for 4 against Steve Papke and Jacob Kuehl, with 2 runs scored, a double, an RBI, a stolen base, and a walk.  Chase Graskewicz, Craig Jilek, and Mitch Lewis also scored a run each in the effort...  The win puts the Rats in sole possession of second place just behind the Braves, who now stand at 5-2 in league play, with 9 games remaining (St. Croix Falls, at New Richmond, at Plum City, River Falls, Hudson, New Richmond, at Menomonie, Ellsworth, and at St. Croix Falls.)  With River Falls, Plum City, Menomonie, and New Richmond clawing their way along for a playoff birth, it should make for an interesting 20 days of baseball for Osceola...

The Rats, meanwhile, have no walk in the park either, with Ellsworth, Menomonie, and Osceola coming up on the docket...  Even St. Croix Falls and Hager City have managed to defeat the Fighting Fish this year in the league, which we were unable to do...  Closing up with Bay City at home is always tough in late July-- it'll be more of a challenge if Bay City is still in playoff contention.  In any case, the squad is playing well now and is playing with a confidence it hasn't possessed for well over a year...  The additions of Brent Blegen, Tyler Dierke, Chase Graskewicz, and Mike Oxinner have been highly beneficial to the team's offensive output and morale.  (Not to mention overall manhood length!)

We certainly hope to see our usual fans and followers this weekend in Ellsworth and/or Hudson-- we're also eagerly awaiting Rudy's little soiree on Saturday night...  Word has it that more money will be spent on fireworks for the party than were spent on Michael Jackson's funeral proceedings earlier today...  Long live the king...

Cruise Control  (July 2, 2009)

Are the Rats back?  Well, at the very least, I'm back, and I'm pleased to say that the squad continued its excellent work from the weekend with two wins on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.  On Tuesday, the St. Paul Mudhens headed over to make-up a game originally slated for late April, and I think we just hit a time continuum, because the weather was more like late April than late June-- cool and windy.  Fortunately we were able to hit the ball all over the park, chalking up 10 runs in the 10-1 win; Travis Borowicz pitched well, throwing 7 effective innings, allowing only five hits and the aforementioned run.  His no hit bid ended in the fifth with two outs-- a nice job once again for the Rats...  Several Rats had multiple hit games, and Kansas State recruit and Hudson HS all-star catcher Chase Graskewicz caught the game...

On Wednesday night, the squad headed up to New Richmond to continue its league schedule against the Millers and Tim Brown.  With a 1-2 count against him to start the game, Jason Hollar lifted a fastball over the right field fence to give the Rats a 1-0 lead that they would never relinquish.  Both Craig Jilek and Joel Schaffer also smacked extra base hits off the chain link fence later in the game en route to a 4-1 victory, the team's 6th in 9 tries.  Brian Sparstad threw well, going seven innings, allowing 4 hits and a sole run in the 7th.  Brian Rudesill threw the eighth and ninth innings for another save on the year...

With our typical time off for the 4th of July, the Rats will be off until next Monday, when they head out of town yet again for a make-up game against the Osceola Braves at 7:30 PM.  The 6-3 Rats will need a win to keep pace with the division leading Braves, who currently stand at 5-1 on the year...  Following the Braves game, the Rats will play on the 10th and 11th against Ellsworth and Menomonie respectively.  Thanks to everyone who attended our games this week, and I wish everyone a safe and festive 4th of July weekend!

When the French Man's Away, the Rats will play... well  (June 29, 2009)

Congratulations to the squad this past weekend for breaking out their actual wood bats and kicking a little booty while I was out of town with my in-laws-- they put the screws to the hosting Hubbers on Saturday night, 13-2 in 5 innings, and then followed up with a blowout win over the River Falls Fighting Fish (a.k.a. Flopping Croppies) on Sunday night 12-1.  Since my esteemed replacement didn't see fit to dropping the scorebook by my house last night or today, I can't really tell you who did exactly what in the games I missed, but I believe Jason Bast hit two homers against the Hubbers, and then hit two homers against the Fish on Sunday.  Not too shabby for a sailor...  I imagine that since I wasn't on the bench it was nothing but Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham playing on the radio in the dugout...  That would've fired up a good portion of my G.O.P. player base fer shizzle...  (Blegen has learned to tune that stuff out on his own, so it had no effect on him.)

Kudos go out to the Hubbers for not only playing a little Michael Jackson in remembrance of the King of Pop on Friday night, but also in keeping the same soundtrack they've played for the past four or five years-- including my favorite Big & Rich tune, "Shave a Horse, Ride A Cowboy", or whatever the hell it's called...  I apologize to my usual post-game celebrants for leaving town at 12:30 AM, by the way-- I was given orders to get home before 3 AM this time around.  We'll make up for lost time when we play down in E-Town on Friday, July 10th!  Other thanks go out to Sean Scallon for getting a photo from the championship game on Sunday-- a slightly out of focus pic of Brent Blegen tagging out a Fish runner at third base-- I believe the assist went to Chris Kein, but I'm not 100% sure.  Good to see that the championship game gets a passing mention in the area newspaper!  Perhaps somebody interviewed one of the other managers for a sound bite on the tourney...

A tip of the cap to our new hurler Tyler Dierke for his superb effort on Sunday, a complete game 3 hitter-- I was informed that he also stuck around afterwards and enjoyed a celebratory refreshment...  Davis Lenzen also had a nice game on Saturday, holding down the Hubbers to 2 runs in five innings-- well done...  Lastly, a nod to all the boys who set up R. Dallas for his post-celebratory ice water bath on Sunday-- he's a little more clueless than he thinks, eh?  Or was he expecting to be doused???

As I said, I'd mention more about the games, but I wasn't there...  I was, however, somewhat amused by some of the stories written about the competition in the local papers-- in particular, River Falls skipper Josh Eidem was quoted as saying Nate Brom sent out a fiery e-mail two weeks back that fired up his team and inspired them to kick ten different kinds of dog crap out of the Rats, in a matter of speaking, before our game on Saturday, June 20th...  General George Patton was additionally mentioned in the article-- you can read it here...  After chuckling to myself briefly, I was reminded of the scathing e-mails that used to go back and forth on the River Rat circuit ripping not only my ability to manage, but my sexuality, my tendencies to bounce people around in the lineup, and other miscellaneous nonsense...

Of course, the year THAT e-mail went around the squad was 2001, Jason's brother Adam was still trying to play outfield, and R. Dallas was still an infielder.  Oh, and we missed the playoffs that year.  Point is, e-mail doesn't replace pitching, defense, and timely hitting when it comes to winning baseball games, be they played in amateur settings, or wherever.  River Falls beat us twice in the league because they played better.  They didn't beat us because they were more fired up.  Or maybe they did?  Does it really matter?  Fact is, they get better press than I do, and I feel like the Joker did in Tim Burton's classic 1989 film "Batman"-- "What kind of a world is it when a guy dressed up as a BAT steals my press?  This town needs an enema!"

A secondary tip of the cap goes to Joel Schaffer, who opted to play three games with the Rats this weekend instead of heading elsewhere.  Nice to see he can make the right decision when it counts, even if his knees really hurt these days...  Well, I'm off for now, awaiting tomorrow's non-league matchup at Hudson against the Mudhens.  If you're in the area, stop by-- 6:15 PM start at Grandview / Hudson HS Varsity field...

Night Fight, We Fight All... Day  (June 27, 2009)

The River Rats took care of business last night, defeating the Elmwood Expos in a combination SCVBL and tournament game at the Ellsworth invitational tournament 12-2 in 7 innings.  Leading the charge for the Rats were Brent Blegen, who had a homer and two other singles, Joel Schaffer, who had a pair of hits, including a homer, and Jason Hollar, who also doubled.  Brian Sparstad threw six effective innings, holding the scrappy 'Spos to 2 runs, while the timeless classic Brian Rudesill closed the game in the seventh.  The squad will take on the host Ellsworth Hubbers this afternoon around 5:30 PM with GM R. Dallas Barabe at the helm...  Best of luck to my squad while I'm out visiting my in laws in Browns Valley this weekend.  Perhaps I'll get to watch the weather forecast by former River Rat Tony Barlow on KELO while I'm there...

River Rats Southern Trip Split (June 21, 2009)

The squad played another pair of league games this weekend, dropping the first game on Saturday afternoon to the resurgent River Falls Fighting Fish 10-6 before recovering on Sunday afternoon with a 7-4 win over the Plum City Blues.  In what could have easily been a very high scoring shootout with the Fish, the Rats stranded 12 base runners while surrendering double digit hits once again.  Playing without the services of either starting catcher and their usual starting left fielder, the squad put a patchwork lineup on the field in Ellsworth and ended up on the losing side.  Credit is due to the Fish, who did a nice job of hitting to all fields (and over the short left field fence) and also turning double plays when they needed them...  The telling stat of the day was the combined 0 for 10 performances of our second and third hitters...

The Sunday performance was considerably more impressive, even if the team once again stranded too many (10) men on base.  Davis Lenzen's second start on the year was a good 8 inning game, as he gave up 4 runs, 6 hits, and 7 walks while striking out 8 Blues hitters.  Brian Rudesill went 2 for 4 on the day with a double and a run scored before closing out the ninth inning to pick up his first save of the season.  With the squad only a game away from the midway point in the league season, there are positives to point out, and there are questions remaining unanswered, as one normally sees in any campaign...

On the positive side, the play of centerfielder Jason Hollar has been very good to exceptional all season-- a nice feature considering an early injury that limited him to the DH position for most of May.  Solidifying the leadoff position has been necessary for quite some time, and it's clear that Jason is up to the job.  Along the same lines, the addition of Brent Blegen to the lineup has helped the team at the plate and on the infield, whether he is catching on Chef Yeti's off days, or playing third base when Schaff is behind the dish.  Brent's laid back and humorous attitude also fit well in the dugout, a definite counter to what can be a negative or silent group at times...

Sunday's game pointed out a positive trend as well from our younger players like Mitch Lewis and Kirk Krumrei, two guys who had struggled a bit with their confidence after a few trying games-- their places in the #8 and #2 spots in the order will be difficult to displace, and their defense will additionally improve as the season goes along.  On the potential negative side, the sudden departure of pitcher Russ Jiskra this past week gives me cause for concern, if only because he was expected to battle with Brian Sparstad and Travis Borowicz for the top spot in the rotation.  The arrival of Tyler Dierke from the high school program coupled with solid pitching by Davis Lenzen should soften the blow, however...

The questions remaining for the team rest upon their veteran players like Andy LaBrosse, Paul Ruppert, Jason Bast, and Joel Schaffer.  Can LaBrosse match the brilliant play he has displayed during games in Plum City (the tournament), or against Prescott two weeks ago, or will he try and provide mid-game hitting lessons to his fellow infielders?  Can J-Love regain the hitting stroke that has carried the Rats into the winners circle in past years, or will he need more work at the YMCA on the guns?  Can Rupe provide power and RBIs in the middle of the order while playing solid defense, or is he looking to take Andy's girlfriend for a ride in the Tahoe?  Will Schaff ever get a decent call at the plate when Dan Hoffman is umpiring?  Will he update his Chef Yeti page before I actually get more player profiles completed?  Will Bast and Jilek keep comparing the speed of the comebackers they hit to the pitcher?  Will Barabe need me to give him more than an inning's notice to pinch hit with the bases loaded again?  Will Phildo bring some fried cheese curds and flapjacks to the next Sunday game he attends?  Is Barney coming?

So many questions, so little time.  Hope to see most of you this weekend (or at least Friday night) in Ellsworth.  Stay cool.

Rats Clubbed By Millers 10-6  (June 14, 2009)

After playing two solid league games back to back, the River Rats once again found themselves on the losing end of the score earlier today, dropping a 10-6 decision to the newly "revamped" New Richmond Millers.  Despite only utilizing one new starter over last year's squad against the Rats, the new look Millers are surprising teams around the league with a combination of timely hitting and positive attitudes.  Of course, their effort was aided largely by a Rat lineup which once again left 9 runners on base, 4 of whom were in scoring position...  I find it difficult to believe that we could lose to a team that made 6 errors in a game, but we did it-- collecting two of our own, not including a dropped foul ball by Brent Blegen which of course led to an RBI single by Miller catcher Matt Peterson.

On top of that, the River Rat pitching which was so dominant against Prescott and Menomonie left much to be desired-- the Millers racked up 17 hits, leaving 9 men on base themselves, including leaving the bases loaded in the top of the sixth against Davis Lenzen.

The lone bright spot perhaps was the pitching of Brian Rudesill, who threw three innings in relief on his 45th birthday, allowing only 1 hit while walking 1 and striking out 1.  The offensive gem of the day for the Rats was Jason Hollar's one out, 2 RBI triple in the bottom of the fourth inning-- unfortunately the squad came up short when neither Jason Bast or the hot hitting Brent Blegen could bring him home.  Needless to say, it was another disappointing Sunday afternoon for the team, but endure we must, as next weekend's league games against River Falls and Plum City will be definite challenges...

Jiskra Starts Dog Catching  (June 13, 2009)

The River Rats improved to 3-1 in SCVBL play with a win against the Menomonie Eagles at Wakanda Park last night, oddly enough by the score of 3-1...  Despite occasional bouts of control problems, Russ Jiskra easily threw his best game of the season against the division's best team-- a complete game gem that featured two double plays by Mitch Lewis, Andy LaBrosse, and Jason Bast.  Amazingly enough, Jiskra's first 20 pitches of the game resulted in 17 strikes and 3 balls-- evidence that throwing strikes really does work well against good hitting teams...  The main story of the game was pitching and defense (much as it was against Prescott); critical errors by both teams led to runs by their opponent.

Congrats to Chef Yeti, who turned 33 yesterday, and thanks to his mother for bringing cupcakes to celebrate.  Of course, nobody decided to save me one, so thanks for your consideration there...  Brent Blegen's two singles, one of which being the game winning RBI, were pivotal in the win.  A tip of the cap also goes to Beagle pitcher Nate Hanson, who held the Rat offense to only 3 runs, stranding Andy LaBrosse at third base when he was there with nobody out...  Yes, Andy, we run home when the defense is turning a double play.  Another note goes out to Paul Ruppert-- never drive to Menomonie with J-Love and Rudy if you want to get to the game on time.  Also, if you need to take a BM Rudy, try to do it BEFORE BP.

More to come later on...

Do You Feel Like We Do?  (June 8, 2009)

What a difference a week can make...  We go from having perfectly warm, sunny, and slightly breezy weather for a couple of weeks, and then, only hours before Saturday's game, it suddenly turns into mid-October-- cold, rainy, miserable, and only good for huddling up in a blanket or a bar with a bottle of Blackberry brandy and some venison sticks.  Likewise, the River Rats went from playing shoddy defense, loading the bases, and giving away games to teams we'd normally beat (see River Falls last Sunday) to playing solid defense, having very few base runners, and literally stealing away a game from a team that normally beats us (Prescott), 1-0.  We had a hard time determining who the player of the game was while celebrating at Pudge's, but the consensus was Brian Sparstad, who had the nut sack to tell Rob Barabe that he wasn't giving up the ball in the eighth or the ninth inning. 

Of course, that was a foregone conclusion for me sitting on the bench-- if he wanted the ball, he was keeping it.  Impressive.  Just like his pitching performance-- a complete game shutout of the best hitting club in our league, hands down...  Granted, we should've been running our patented veer offense with a cover 2 man scheme on defense, but that's neither here nor there.  Kudos to all of our defenders up the middle, from Brent Blegen, Andy LaBrosse, and Mitch Lewis to Jason Hollar.  Error free baseball feels good, even if it's on a cold day and one of your starting pitchers is nursing a hangover from his 21st birthday celebrations...  Kudos also to the Pirates for coming down to Pudge's for some beer and burned pizza.  Lord knows that serving four or five other customers is trying for a bartender...

This Friday will hopefully mark another classic Rats-Beagles showdown at Wakanda Park.  Lord knows there'll be fun had regardless of the outcome of the game...  We still have to figure out a makeup game for the Osceola rain out...  Yes, Barabe, I know I hadn't updated the freaking home page for a while.  Relax.  Fix your Guitar Hero special appliances...  No, Qui Gon, I didn't give you the Swine Flu-- your brother did that...  No, Barney, the Red Sox still suck ass, no matter how loaded they are.  No, Rudy, I'm not cutting you slack for missing Saturday afternoon to watch "The Hulk".  Yes, Spars, I will see you on the mound, God willing, on Sunday against the newly revamped New Richmond Millers.  To Paulie J, I'm not sure when we're getting those PHL to MSP tix, but we're working on them...  See you kids at the park, unless you see me first...

Looking For Clues  (June 2, 2009)

Another couple of weeks, and yes, another update to the website-- sorry to keep all of you eager fans waiting for a little insight...  Let me start off by thanking whoever transmitted this nasty flu/cold virus to me and my crew on the night of May 24th-- if you knew you had a cold, why be an ass wipe and spread it to other people?  I personally wish a pox upon you and yours...  OK, that's done.  Regarding the rest of the PC tourney, I was pleased to see that we played decently, if not inconsistently throughout the weekend.  Our game against Bay City on Saturday morning was a brisk 7-2 win, helped along by Brian Sparstad's good pitching and homers by Paul Ruppert and Joel Schaffer.  Following the Saturday game, the majority of the team went on yet another ill-fated "ice run" to various establishments in the Pierce county area...  Yours truly skipped that debacle, opting to announce the Plum City-Menomonie tilt with "Mr. Shh" Shaun Miley and Jay Thompson.  Kudos to the PC folks and my comrades for the free beer and entertainment during the game.  The remainder of my memories from Saturday are somewhat limited, although I did spend quite a bit of time chatting with my favorite Ellsworth folks after their battle with Prescott that afternoon.  I do remember Chico Birkel handing me a Hamm's and painfully finishing that god-awful beer-- land of sky blue waters my ass!  How about the land of shit brown aftertaste?  Then again, that's not exactly a marketing gem...

On Saturday night I ventured down to the corner bar to start the evening, seated with Jedi council, Petie, and a good number of the Beagles, who were enjoying their win over the host Blues...  I believe we closed down the corner bar-- Josh Eidem was wearing a festive "Cosby Sweater" and feeling mellow, and somebody else was trying to justify throwing a cat in a campfire...  I won't mention names, but I still think that's a little disturbing, no matter how much you're drinking and how close you are to a fire.  But anyway...  Sunday's game with Menomonie went as one might expect when one's starting pitcher is recovering from alcohol poisoning-- cold and clammy.  In a game of giveaways, bad outfield routes, and questionable calls at home plate, the Beagles took three gift runs, a bases loaded walk, and a 335 ft. 3 run homer to straight away center and parlayed them into a 7-3 win.  For our part, we managed to strand countless runners AND failed to score in the top of the fifth with runners on second and third and NOBODY out.  Disgusting.

After the game, Andy LaBrosse and company decided it would be a good decision (and decent humor) to purchase a case of beer wearing nothing but a pair of shoes, a baseball cap, and a pink thong originally worn by my wife's best friend, who is about 5'10" tall and weighs around 125 pounds-- not very big.  The stunt only cost me $20, and for the most part was well received by the afternoon crowd, although I was told there were a few complaints...   The remainder of Sunday revolved around the annual bat races, in which our team had to run a "play in" race winning their first one, and losing the second.  Talk about a bullshit setup there...  I give a lot of credit to our newbies, however, for their efforts-- Davis Lenzen, Mike Weiss, Brian Sparstad, and Kirk Krumrei ran well.  The real news of the races was the inclusion of a team composed of Andy LaBrosse's sister, his girlfriend Bridget, and two of their friends...  In the midst of their race against Plum City's team, Andy's sister performed a takedown of Kevin Anderson (although I could be wrong on the specific PC player)-- according to Rudy, she also holds a record for red cards received as a player at Stillwater HS...  Good luck to Beagle pitcher Nate Hanson in his dating attempts with her, by the way...

Sunday night's denouement was a combination of complaints (Mr. Shh), cold viruses (somebody blamed Travis Welch, but I have no hard evidence of that), cocktails at Dean's, and spilled beer (both at Dean's and on my damn lawn chair at the campsite!)  I should also mention that instead of allowing Qui Gon Jin to give his wife a piggy-back ride back to the campgrounds, I picked her up and carried her about two blocks (the same way I'd carry my daughter, although Angie's a little bigger than Adeline.)  If it weren't for the dipshit who spilled his / her beer in my chair, I'd have stayed up later, however, a case of late night wet ass dampened my mood...

On Monday, we woke up at the crack of 9 AM and did our best job of cleaning up the site, sans Barabe, who decided to sleep until game time.  Chef Yeti, who made it down to Dean's on Sunday just in time for a closing hour game of 7-14-21, oozed out of his van 5 minutes before the game time and looked about as healthy as a rendering plant's cesspool.  Our game against Elmwood was painful-- even in an 11-0 victory in 5 innings.  Their pitchers couldn't find the strike zone, and our hitters were wondering when we could go home.  We'd had enough.  Still, for all the hype and the build-up it was fun-- perhaps not as crazy as past years went, but still a good time.  Thanks goes out to everyone who made the journey with us this year-- you know who you are, and NO, I'm not naming everybody.  To Jeff, Dan, and RDB, thanks for keeping things in line around the campsite-- I only regret we didn't actually bring our clubs and play golf.  To Andy, Russ, and LJ, thanks for making the trip down amusing, and the RV cleanup easy.  To the Blues, thanks for having us down at the tournament again-- it's always well run, the infield was in great shape, and the beer was always cold.  To the Beagles, Hubbers, Fish, Expos, Bombers, and Pirates, thanks for making it another great tournament.  May you all play well, except when you play us-- oh, sorry, the Fish weren't reading that last Sunday, but I digress...

Clues II  (June 2, 2009)

The squad is now 1-1 on the league season and a confusing 3-6 on the year following a split this past weekend in Hudson and River Falls.  Saturday's opener against the River Bandits went as I'd expected, although it wasn't a stellar performance by Brian Sparstad for his second win of the year-- a 12-2 win in eight innings came as a result of excellent hitting by Jason Bast (4 for 6, 3 runs, 3 RBI) and Chef Yeti (3 for 5, 1 run, 2 RBI), combined with 10 walks issued by Bandit pitchers Curtis Roebuck, Trevor Todd, and Kyle Kahl.  Brent Blegen impressed the squad with his defense at third, while Chris Kein laid down an excellent bunt (en route to a 2 for 4, 2 RBI performance at the plate.)  Topping it off, newcomer Davis Lenzen threw 2 solid innings to close, allowing 2 hits and a walk while striking out 3.

Sunday's game at RF was another matter altogether, a 9-7 loss in which it seemed that only our non-drinking players were having a good day-- Jason Hollar went 4 for 5 with 4 runs, 2 doubles, and an RBI, Craig Jilek had three walks, two sacs (no pun intended), a run, and 2 RBI, and Brent Blegen went 2 for 3 with two walks and an RBI.  The story of the day was the 15 strikeouts the team collected at the plate-- 3 for Paul Ruppert, 4 for Kirk Krumrei, and 2 each for the middle infield tandem of Sparstad and LaBrosse.  Those 15 K's helped pad the left on base total for the team, which was 12 on the day.  This isn't so bad when you consider the Fish stranded the same number of runners, but isn't so great when you consider that the team stranded 10 runners in eight innings the day before against a struggling St. Croix Falls squad.

Old Man Rudy twirled another gem of three innings against the Fish, allowing only 2 hits and a walk, with 1 K...  I won't mention the numbers for our starter Russ Jiskra, but they weren't particularly good.  In his defense, the guys playing behind him should've been better-- a missed pop-up, and at least two missed double play turns tends to kick a young pitcher's psyche in the proverbial scrotum.  IF our defense improves, the team should right things nicely and recover.  If it doesn't, there'll be a lot of shifting and a search for a second backup catcher.  By the way, we are looking for donations of airline miles for the purchase of a round trip ticket from Philadelphia to Minneapolis / St. Paul...  See you at the yard!

Plum City, V.10.1  (May 21,2009)

Good to know my by-line date was only a year off for a few days-- see "It's the Muppet Show!" below-- I've been wracking my brain for the past week and have tried to compose a fitting entry for this year's PC tournament, but I'm still stuck in the past.  That's figurative, of course, but partially literal; I wish I could say it was because all of my previous material was so great, but that's certainly not the case.  Not only that, but the dedicated (and not so much) folks who peruse this have already seen that act-- they need new stuff.  Unfortunately, I can't just put a few tweaks on a recording and label it "Greatest Hits" and sell it as a new composition here on my blog.  Nobody cares about what happened at the PC tourney in 2007, or 2003, or 1993 for that matter.

This year's bacchanal in the village of PC should truly mark a changing of the guard-- the turnover of players (and teams) in the league is catching up with us, and I'm pretty certain that the new college kids will be the ones doing all the strange and crazy activities we at one point did (or claimed to) in the past.  I'm not sure if that means I need my rocking chair, walker, and a sturdy glass in which to place my false teeth, but I do think some old-timer will send out a parental type admonishment about "not being too crazy".  Of course, that'll probably be told to Chef Yeti after he comes back to the campsite around 5 AM, but who's keeping track besides me anyway?

As I'd mentioned two years ago (this is where I recycle old material), one thing that has held true over nine years (and more) has been the Plum City Tournament.  Yes, we're all older.  Yes, Plum City has a new manager.  Yes, the village is up in arms about a newly constructed band shell in the middle of the campground.  Yes, several of the Blues have managed to sire children in the past year.  No, it's still the same crazy bunch of farmer's kids holed up in the valley along Hwy. 10-- if you don't believe me, just stop down there this weekend!

2009's version of what you'll undoubtedly see this coming weekend in the village of Plum City:

1. 200+ inebriated baseball players and fans,

2. 20 year old kids trying to send text messages to people who are sitting 20 feet away,

3. college aged women sheepishly looking around after crawling out of a tent at 6:30 AM,

4. college aged guys sheepishly looking around after crawling out of their buddies tent without their underwear,

5. bare-chested men sporting acne, sunburn, and considerable body odor masked by cologne / body spray,

6. Chef Yeti serving sample sized portions of his latest culinary masterpiece,

7. burning Christmas trees,

8. aging vehicles driving around town, normally with a wide eyed kid pointing at one of my players stumbling by,

9. streakers running onto the field during a game (or afterwards in a pink thong, or during a rain delay wearing only underwear),

10. guys who shouldn't wear tight clothing,

11. women who should wear tight clothing (at least clothing that can breathe)

12. individuals using high powered binoculars to "sightsee" around the campground,

13. the Welch's dogs,

14. Barabe and I discussing how often they'll be called to find out when the next game is played,

15. beer cans and empty liquor bottles unevenly distributed throughout the campgrounds and city,

16. townies getting antsy because "their woman" is flirting with a half-drunk baseball player wearing half his uniform and a t-shirt that says "wine me, dine me, 69 me",

17. cigars, various tobacco products, and other smokable items lit up at various times of the day and night,

18. bat races performed by people who have no reason to be drinking beer quickly and spinning around even faster.

19. drool running down the chins of a certain "Sasquatch" and "Bear" whilst drinking at the Corner bar (or whatever we call it now),

20. local girls asking if one of the River Rats wants to go back to their place and check out their doll collection-- at 3 AM.

As I'd written four years ago, the Plum City tourney elicits the bittersweet sense of elation mixed with sorrow.  Celebrating the beginning of another summer is always wonderful and almost always memorable (for good and bad reasons), but you know you're a year older and that much closer to the final roundup.  We can distill it (fittingly) to its core qualities (from 2005)...

Quality #1:  Competition

Everything revolves around the simple fact that, yes, this is a baseball tournament.  (OK, and a drinking tournament for Elmwood, but I digress...)  The victorious team doubles their money (or at least gets some of it back from a weekend of debauchery followed by black, tarry stool), and we can all look back on saying we built "team character".  Or rather, we discovered who the team characters were-- not to mention finding out those from our competition.  The upside to the tourney now (among others for a slightly perverted 40 year old father) is discovering the skills of our "FNG's" (if you don't know what the acronym stands for, look it up) and how they fit into our team strategy.  No, I'm not referring to the skills displayed in tents or the dugout after dark... 

Quality #2:  Celebration

While not only winners can celebrate, winning lends itself wholeheartedly to revelry and enjoyment, particularly in the presence of inebriated and semi-inebriated individuals of all ages.  It's true that misery loves company, but it's also true that campsites and baseball tournaments love each other too, with plenty of love to go around to those on the take.  For the quality of celebration, the games are secondary, if not tertiary to the process of what might otherwise be considered "hard core" merriment.  This is only because the tournament basically becomes (for myself and my fellow veteran Rats) a four day, three night festival of beer, music, profanity, camping, tobacco, and activities that would probably challenge the physical constitution of Keith Richards and Joe Walsh in their primes, were one to continue those activities for longer than an extended weekend.

Quality #3:  Reflection (and Nostalgia)

The old saying that the longer you play the better you were leads into the oftentimes melancholy theme of reflection and nostalgia.  Fortunately for most of us, the feelings of loss and sadness for days and friends gone by is meager at best.  Still, thinking back to old times, old parties, and old stories of previous tournaments will bring a tear to the eye of even the most jaded and stone hearted person.  Wondering if you'll ever be back to manage also exacerbates this quality, combined with the aforementioned alcohol and intoxicants, of course.  The flip side to this quality is that every year you come to Plum City you have another year of stories and fables to pass along to friends, teammates, and unfortunate passers-by at the tavern.  With the tragic passing of our friend Nick Bayer only a short time ago, this quality will be especially prevalent this year...

Quality #4:  Friendship

Leading from a sense of community is the bond of friendship, which is what sets the Plum City tournament apart from the other tourneys for the most part.  That, and some of the bondage parties that may start in the Parnell RV this year...  Plum City's unique site and situation are also huge factors in the success of the tourney; without a campground next to the park, it's less likely that teams and players would commiserate for hours on end at the field and downtown at the local watering holes.  Even so, we've been fortunate to develop long-standing friendships with various Blues players from the tournament that I doubt we'd have developed otherwise.  I still feel that hanging out with people you've seen and known for years over the Memorial Day weekend is a privilege, and one that I treasure.

Quality #5: Remembrance

Lest we forget the entire reason why it's a long weekend in the first place, the purpose of Memorial Day is to pay tribute to the men and women who've died while serving in America's armed forces, from the Civil War up until our current activities in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere.  As the Memorial Day organization tells us, "Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all."  For those of us with friends and/or relatives who have served, let us remember the people who have seen the horrors of war and their tremendous costs first hand, and let us all take a moment to honor the dead with our silence, reflection, and respect.  On a less serious note, let us also remember our friends and former teammates as they continue their lives and careers in other towns and cities this weekend.  May their friendship and kindness never leave our memories...

I hope that helps you all this time around-- I hope to see you all bright eyed and bushy tailed in PC this weekend. -- Chris.

It's the Muppet Show!  (May 17, 2009)

The 2009 pre-season schedule is now over...  We took a licking and are hoping to start ticking next weekend at the Plum City tournament, starting on Friday night with most of the gang.  I'm personally crossing my fingers that our sober players can carry our team on Saturday morning against Bay City, otherwise it could be interesting.  As for the weekend that was in La Crosse, let's just say a good time was had by all, although I can't comment on what the kids were doing at the hotel while the adults were downtown.  Nor would I, even if I knew... 

I should start by saying that we are very grateful to have gotten a couple of games in against two excellent Mississippi Valley league teams on a relatively cool and sunny weekend-- I feel bad that we didn't necessarily bring our "A" lineup, but it was good to get some of our younger players into a couple of non-league games before the league starts up for us on May 30th...  The CCV Blues beat our squad on Saturday afternoon 10-9 in a comedy of errors, walks, and Blues base hits.  They reminded me of why they won the WBA title two years ago-- they are a very solid hitting squad that has strong defense up the middle...  A solid bunch of guys who play fundamentally sound baseball, kind of like the Prescott Pirates...

After Saturday evening's shenanigans in downtown LAX, the REALLY old men went back to get a few winks of sleep while Chef Yeti and Gizmo attended a post-bar shindig at the residence of former Spring Valley Hawk (and current La Crosse A's infielder) Josh McKinnon, who was inebriated enough to refer to yours truly as "Barabe."  Granted I normally see Josh only once a year or so now, but the Barabe and I are not quite that similar-- after all, he was the happy Beatle, and I was the witty Beatle.  Just ask Paul and Ringo...

On Sunday, I had the distinct pleasure of trying to roust my resident Yeti out of his hotel bed at the crack of 11 AM for our noon game at Viterbo.  Needless to say, we didn't leave until about 11:25 AM.  Next time that happens, I'm going to be smart enough to set the clocks ahead an hour...  Of course, Yetis don't like arriving at the park too early after a long evening of revelry, so who could blame him right?  The La Crosse game itself was one of our most brutal in years, a 15-0 drubbing in seven innings.  Newest Muppet Davis Lenzen unfortunately received little support from his defense or offense, subsequently struggling to get his off speed pitches over the plate.  Adding to that, he was thrown into a nasty fire against an A's team that flat out mashes the ball-- their outfield is also one of the most solid I've seen in years, perhaps rivaling the Prescott boys-- although I really cannot abide by people wearing 99 for their number, even if they're damn good...  Leave that number for Wayne Gretzky please.

Quote of the weekend-- "Anyway, no...  Schaff, like, no-- can I stay in your room?  I wanna make sure I catch a ride with Eicher in the morning." - Andy LaBrosse.

Yes, I hope to get the annual PC tourney update done this week, gentle readers.  In the meantime, be sure to check out Hulu.com for the video "Motherlover" from SNL...

Chef Yeti Hits & Gizmo Splits  (May 8, 2009)

The River Rats have begun their 2009 campaign-- aren't you just tickled pink about it?  Or maybe just a lighter shade of pale?  In either case, the squad played two games within the last week against solid competition and ended up on the losing end of the score-- losing 11-8 to the Minneapolis Angels on May 2nd, and 5-3 to the Eau Claire Bears on May 6th.  Having missed the Angels game due to a family commitment, I can only say that the squad reportedly played well overall, but fell victim to the dreaded combination of errors, seeing eye singles, and Earl Weaver's favorite weapon, the three run homer...

Despite the loss, captain Joel "Chef Yeti" Schaffer said that both Brian Rudesill and Travis Borowicz threw well and could very easily have been on the winning end of things had the wind and umpiring been a little different.  I say we're simply happy to get a game in with 8 and a half players in early May!  As for the game in Eau Claire, it was as nice a night as one could hope for-- cool temps, no wind, and very little sun to deal with.  Brian Sparstad's first start of the season was solid as well against the defending Wisconsin Baseball Association champion Bears-- he threw four innings with a makeshift lineup behind him and kept his squad in the game. 

Enjoying another fantastic game in his old stadium, Chef Yeti collected 4 hits in 4 at bats, with 3 line drive singles and a home run to dead center field.  Speculation as to Schaff's off-season conditioning program has increased in the past week, with rumors spread that performance enhancing drugs may have been used at his residence in Apple Valley.  Until drug testing results come back from the league, River Rat management is unable to issue a comment on the matter.  Let me state for the record, however, our thanks to the Bears for inviting us to play at Carson Park on one of only seven or eight dates they get to use the field-- they are a class team, much like the Minneapolis Angels, who were also gracious in working with us to find a field to play on last weekend.

Regarding the 21st birthday of our beloved Stillwater / UW-Stout shortstop Andy LaBrosse, I have to say that while I was disappointed he couldn't stick around at Ray's longer, I know he had a rather memorable evening with his friends and significant other(s) in Menomonie.  I'm not sure if he brought along his milk crate for storage that night, but he undoubtedly needed a gallon of water and some antacid tablets the next day.  In River Rat terms that's simply training for the tournament coming up in two weeks...

Kudos to everyone who made the games, welcome to FNG Mike Weiss, who is the cousin-in-law of Brent Blegen, and thanks also to Rudy for bringing the new pants for the team at Eau Claire.  Our new red uniform tops are supposedly going to be ready next week.  I'll believe it when I see it.  See you at the yard.

You Were Expecting Something New? (April 19, 2009)

Ahhhh... Baseball season has arrived. OK, it arrived a few weeks ago, but if you haven't noticed, this particular page hasn't been predicated on weekly updates (at least in the off-season) for years. Hey-- if you had to try and come up with some meaningful information to pass along while YOUR three year old daughter was jumping around on her Yo Gabba Gabba dance pad / thingy, you might not have anything either. After attending yesterday's impromptu practice, I was reminded why this group is so special-- they not only love the game, but they love to tell you what they think. Especially when they can needle you!

Still, I have to say that nearly everyone looks no worse for wear, particularly the guys who are entering their 10th Rat season. Rear Admiral J-Love, Ru Paul Ruppert, Rudy, and even the Barabe took their hacks on the newly renovated infield and showed why they're still around-- of course, hitting 40 mph fastballs isn't a challenge for crusty veterans... Also in attendance and looking fresh were Jason Hollar (who apparently put on an extra 5 pounds of muscle mass in his quadriceps over the winter), Brian Sparstad (who sported a shaggier haircut than what I was used to seeing), Kirk Krumrei (who stopped out before his club baseball game at Eau Claire), and our newbie, Brent Blegen (who also seems to have shed a little extra winter weight.)

In absentia were the rest of the squad, including Chef Yeti, Tricked Out Trav, I Like Eicher, and the self-annointed Fat Nate. From all reports, pitchers Russ Jiskra and Tyler Dierke are enjoying favorable seasons thus far at their respective schools, and Andy LaBrosse has been putting in good innings at UW-Stout as well. The Rats hope to reschedule today's rainout next Sunday at home with the St. Paul Mudhens, but we will need to clear that with Coach Huppert at the high school... Thanks for visiting, as always, and remember, if you don't have anything nice to say, chances are you'll be wearing a River Rat jersey. Well, unless you want a new jersey, in which case you might have to wait until late July.

C.A.L. - #32

Oooh, Another Timely Update! (March 10, 2009)

Another month has passed, and we are inching ever so closer to the 2009 baseball season. Can't you just feel the excitement in the air as the snow falls outside? I wanted to take a minute to thank the various individuals who managed to take time out of their busy lives last Saturday by attending our fundraiser poker tourney at City Limits Bar & Grill in Hudson-- you know who you are, but for the rest of the unwashed denizens of the web, let me list you...

Rob Barabe, Paul Ruppert, Dan Wahlman, Brian Rudesill, Craig Jilek, Travis Borowicz, Brad Borowicz, Ken Corbett, Kirk Holt, Jonah Lansing, Brent Blegen, Tyler Dierke, Steve Dierke, John McGinley, Adam Bast, Jason Bast, Andy LaBrosse, Joel Carlson, Joel Schaffer, Jeff Gibson, and my next door neighbor, Liz Neal. Additional thanks goes out to Chad Seguin and the crew at City Limits for their generous sponsorship and excellent hosting of our event-- we look forward to celebrating down there as much as possible this season!

Not that anybody notices, but I've FINALLY added a tentative schedule to the website this evening-- we have 27 games listed right now, which is 3 less than I'd hoped for (pre-playoff, that is), but who's to say we can't somehow find some teams to fill those spots between now and April??? OK, me, but optimism is the word of the year... Lest I also forget, much thanks also goes out to Rat GM Rob Barabe for his work in helping secure new players for the 2009 season. We are hoping that the additions of Tyler Dierke, Brent Blegen, and Davis Lenzen will shore up the squad's losses from last year.

Word on the street is that both Andy LaBrosse and Russ Jiskra are playing very well early on for the UW-Stout Blue Devils in Menomonie... Keep up the good work, and get on with the good foot, as the late great James Brown used to say...

Chef Yeti, a.k.a. Joel Schaffer, has been following the advice of his Tibetan elders recently, and has been abstaining from the consumption of alcohol as well as sexual intercourse. His newly monastic ways are intended to recharge his positive chi for the 2009 campaign, as well as increase his odds of surviving a 3 day weekend of hedonistic debauchery that invariably occurs throughout the Memorial Day tournament in Plum City. Rumor has it that the Schaff is still regularly practicing self-abuse, but only his girlfriend, roommates, and urologist can verify that, and they're not talking...

B. Roy Rudesill was recently spotted on a cruise of the Caribbean last week with his family, and returned to Hudson much tanner and highlighted. We were unable to check and see if his silver back wig had been removed for the vacation...

Paul Ruppert and Dr. Dan Wahlman split the winnings for the Poker Tourney... Despite the best efforts of Rudy and Johnny Mac at the final table, Ruppy and Dan eliminated the competition and divided $450 between themselves and the River Rats last weekend... Kudos to them for their generosity and also for their ability to hold out against tough players in the tourney...

Additional rumors have it that a certain ex-Beagle may be donning the dark robes of the River Rats to unbalance the force in 2009. More information will be made available as it comes, but Rat hierarchy is in negotiations with the individual to try and play at least 1 time per week. Jedi Knight Qui Gon Welch has already sensed a disturbance and is investigating...

The Rats are still awaiting the initial draft of "Cooking With Sasquatch", but his recipe for post-game bratwurst is available today! Here it is in all its glory...

BIGFOOT'S BRATWURST

3 to 5 packages Johnsonville Brats (or use freshly made bratwurst from your local butcher if preferred -- 20 brats total)

1 large yellow onion, cut into round slices

2 Tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil (Chef Yeti always loves extra virgins!)

2 Tbsp. fresh unsalted butter

1 bottle (or can) of fresh sauerkraut (prepared separately for those who enjoy a true Germanic eating experience)

2 bottles Pabst Blue Ribbon or Schlitz beer

1 Tbsp. black pepper

Mustard (hot, dijon, or standard yellow as suits taste)

Pickle Relish (optional condiment)

Ketchup (optional condiment)

Bratwurst rolls, or hot dog buns -- white or whole wheat, depending on taste and fiber needs

Prepare a standard saute pan or aluminum foil baking pan with butter, sliced onion (brushed first with olive oil), and beer.

You can thoroughly cook the onion slices in the beer broth, or saute them prior and set them out separately for toppings.

Prepare the bratwurst on a charcoal or gas grill near the baseball field, making sure to cook thoroughly-- piercing the bratwurst casing in several locations will keep them from potentially splitting.

You may opt to boil the brats in the beer broth prior to grilling, or you may use the broth for holding the cooked brats-- if you prefer the taste of beer soaked brats, use the former. If you are serving underaged eaters, use the latter, and make sure they get their brats before they soak in the broth.

Bon Appetit!

Chef Yeti Responds (February 5, 2009)

Dear Height Challenged Democrat (this is a reference to Frenchy, although he DID NOT vote for Obama in 2008),

My thought was to put the new logo on the hat but what should we do about the jerseys?  Do we want to put the logo on that as well?  I was thinking that my page would be updated to reflect the changing seasons as well as up and coming events.  Perhaps the “The Yeti's Cooking Column” or “Cooking with Sasquatch” would be available titles….or whatever else you can come up with.  If you want we can even get started with a “Valentine's Day Meal Fit for a Whore” or “Feed Her to Breed Her” all based around February 14th . 

This will all culminate into next years “River Rats Cookbook 2010 – A Decade and Still Dining at the Y” that I have planned.  Each player is responsible for adding something to the cookbook along with their profile and picture.  This would include:

“Barabe's Plum City Shore Munch”

“Rudy's How to Get Your Wife to Cook Every Meal to Fatten Your Ass”

“Frenchy's Seafood Obama Nation ”

“Pearson's Drive –Through on a Dime Bag”

“Parnell's All Things Asian“

“Jilek's Rocky Mountain Oyster Recipe”

“Devin's Day Old Wendy's Chili Recipe and Homemade Baconator”

“Bast's Guide to Eating After Being Kicked off Your Land By My Family”

“Rupes How to Eating Nothing But Protein”

“Muppet Ramen Noodle Mania”

“Miley's Spicy Bacon Strips”

“Carrell's Three Cheeses and some Macaroni”

“Pauly's Guide to Guatemalan Cuisine ”

“Blegen's Mountain Dew and Marlboro Meatloaf”

“AK's Meat Swap”

“McGinley's Cackle Stew”

“Barney's How to Get Her to Like Eating Clam Chowder”

“Brom's Rail Gin Tea”

“Nate Stellrecht's My Ugly Brother's Sandwich”

“Eicher's Guide to Aphrodisiacs”

“Schaffer's Deepa Hada Tuna Pot Pie and Mango Salsa ”

Any other suggestions would be appreciated. 

Schaff (Yes, that's MY picture up in the left corner, not FRENCHY'S)

Oh, this IS a Blog now? (February 5, 2009)

It's been a boring week around the River Rat baseball scene, only a few meager text messages back and forth from the GM and a couple other players. At least last week I had the surprise of opening up a mildly critical e-mail from Matt Barnard who wrote that he was moving the Plum City Blues' website up in his personal ranking because I'd neglected ANY sort of updates to the Rat's Nest for a month or two… That e-mail accompanied one from the GM, who basically said the same thing as Barney, along with a few other tidbits and warnings... On the other hand, with the GM's efforts (and a few extra conversations with a former sponsor by yours truly), the Rats have acquired additional help for the 2009 season. However, there is more work to be done, with only ten to twelve weeks to do it.

As of today, we currently have the following: three solid outfielders in Paul Ruppert, Jason Hollar, and Kirk Krumrei, with another very capable young fourth outfielder in Chris Kein. Our infield is a bit more fluid, with Andy LaBrosse playing shortstop, Mitch Lewis playing second base, and a variety of guys at the corner spots, including Joel Schaffer, Craig Jilek, Jason Bast, and the incoming Brent Blegen, who will invariably switch between catching and either third or second base. This doesn't include the capable fielding of Brian Sparstad, who can play middle infield, nor does it include last year's offensive MVP, the imposing Sean Parnell.

Pitching is a minor question, only due to the departure of Paul Johnson for 2009—with Sparstad, Travis Borowicz, Russ Jiskra, Brian Rudesill, incoming pitcher Tyler Dierke, and possibly some returning veteran arms in Ted Golberg and Nate Stellrecht, the squad hopes to match its 12-3 SCVBL record of 2008. We're not sure if any further additions will be made to the team, but there are normally a few surprises that pop up between February and late April.

A question was posed a few weeks ago regarding the prospect of new uniforms and even perhaps a new name for the team. Here are some examples of possible name changes for the team:

As always, I wholeheartedly encourage my readers to provide any feedback they might have regarding the above listed content. I don't think we're changing the team name, but if a change can make the job of logo design easier for Brian “Yeah, that's my old Fun Corner” Rudesill, so much the better. If you have some other nickname ideas, shoot them this way as well. Be good to yourself…

Frenchy

Remembering Old Teammates (February 2, 2009)

Hello and welcome once again to my little glorified speck on the web known as Frenchy's Desk. Not much new to report in terms of the team this week—we did manage to restore some sanity to our upcoming summer baseball schedule by moving games with Menomonie, River Falls, and New Richmond, however. Due to these moves, we will avoid playing over the July 4th weekend, saving me the trouble of either missing games or angering my wife further due to baseball conflicts with family plans (always the better option, as countless husbands have discovered over the millennia.)

Speaking of the family, most of you will have viewed the photo of my 2 (soon to be 3) year old daughter Adeline posing with a snowman replete with River Rat swag and leftover bats on the home page of the Rat's Nest. It's a great pic by my wife, if I may brag for a second or twenty, and captures some of the “ham” of my growing little girl. On the other hand, looking at the front yard after dark with all the lights out is now a little bit creepy. For some odd reason it reminds me of a grim totem left to scare away any wandering bands of marauding snowmen staking out my front yard… But as usual, I digress…

Returning to the team, we have a number of open dates and weekends left to fill on the team schedule—we're behind our target date (no surprise there, unfortunately), but we're remaining optimistic that we will make our 30 game (pre-playoff) goal. If you've stumbled upon this page and are looking for a game with the River Rats, drop me a line. Just be sure to have a few references and a case of locally produced (within a 100 mile radius) beer for sharing…

On a down note, I was saddened to hear of the passing of an old high school classmate of mine, Marc Dufault, this past weekend. Marc and I had graduated from Mounds View High School in Arden Hills, Minnesota, back in the dark Reagan ages of 1987 (along with about 565 other lucky individuals!) While he and I were never particularly close, we did play football together during our sophomore year—a noteworthy season in which our team lost only one game, going something like 8-1. For baseball, Marc was a standout, which meant that he played on the varsity squad even as a sophomore—a feat yours truly wasn't quite able to pull off. “Duf”, as everyone called him, was a highly talented baseball and basketball player, a great guy off the field, and a caring individual all around as noted by his friends during and after high school.

Tragedy had struck him very close to graduation as I remember—he was in a car crash just before the end of school in May of '87, and was left in a wheelchair for the remainder of his life. While his death brings about sadness in remembering him from my youth (albeit fleetingly) it will also bring together many of his friends and teammates from high school to share their memories and celebrate his memory. I wish the circumstances were different, but I know that his spirit will be with us in some way on the baseball field, on the basketball court, and in the places his shared with his friends and family for the 40 years of his life. May you rest in peace my friend, and may God watch over your soul...

January 2009 Update (A.K.A. Your Website sux)

January 27, 2009. The upcoming season is now officially kicked off-- as yours truly attended last Sunday's winter meeting for the St. Croix Valley Baseball League. It only took two years, but now the league has expanded to 12 teams from a previous comfortable total of 10. Despite the problems St. Croix Falls faced in their first season, the Hager City Skeeters have opted into the SCVBL, and were approved for admission by a 9 to 2 vote. Only Bay City and Ellsworth voiced opposition to the Skeeters, on the grounds that their inclusion would potentially weaken both the teams in Pierce County, and the league in general. Ellsworth has been particularly hard hit by the upstart team, as the majority of the Hager City players are actually Ellsworth HS graduates.

While the meeting was largely uneventful, long time Hubber infielder (and current Hudson resident) Garrett Birkel asked that if he was to attend the upcoming April WBA meeting, he would like fried bologna sandwiches served to attendees rather than the usual shrimp and caviar dinner. Also noteworthy from the meeting was any semblance of sanity regarding game scheduling-- in what has been a confusing and preposterous manner, a number of teams have chosen to reschedule league games for OTHER league games this year, without clearing the move with the other managers! Yours truly was quoted on at least three occasions as saying "why do I bother putting a preliminary schedule together in the first place?"

As of today, the 2009 River Rat schedule only has a meager 22 games (assuming that the squad doesn't 2 and Q in its tournament games at Plum City and Ellsworth), including dates against the Minneapolis Angels, La Crosse Athletics, and for the first time in ten years, a regular season game against the Chaseburg-Coon Valley Blues (hats off to them for having us down at their place on May 16th!) In another odd turn of events, this will mark the first year in ten that we've opted to play TWO league games at tournament sites-- the Menomonie Eagles on Saturday, May 23rd at 3 PM in Plum City, and the Elmwood Expos at the Ellsworth tourney (time TBD.) As our new president said, we must make sacrifices, and so the River Rats shall...

The goal for the 2009 schedule is to play 30 games before the playoffs begin on August 7th, and with some effort made this week, I'm optimistic we can acheive that goal. We are also currently acquiring the venue for a 2nd Annual Hudson River Rat Texas Hold'em poker tourney in Hudson, to be held on Saturday, March 7th. We are hopeful that our new sponsor, City Limits bar, will host this on the aforementioned date. Please note that WHEN the 2009 schedule is completed, it will be posted here on the River Rats website, along with the SCVBL schedule. As always, if you have a team in the area, and would be interested in playing the Rats, please contact me (Chris LaBreche) at my e-mail address of: c.a.labreche@comcast.net.

Until later, feel free to peruse the rest of my festering and decomposing old site-- I'm just aging it for cheese and yogurt these days, but you're more than welcome to sample some of the old bits. Tasty nuggets like Rudy's Fun Corner never get old, and Barabe's advice page still elicits a chuckle or two from even the grumpiest of people. I may also transfer my "River Rat Lexicon" page to the website one of these days-- for people who ever wondered how the Rat Rouser came to be, or why somebody would mention the word "vulva" in a baseball dugout in Spring Valley, that page will answer those pressing queries. In the meantime, enjoy the cold weather and negative attitudes.

Oh, I'd be remiss in failing to mention the thanks to everybody who helped out last weekend over at Craig Jilek's mansion in suburban Hudson with the drywall project... Those of you in the loop know that Craig and his family have gone through a big scare recently with his health, but things are looking good now and should continue so. The Jilek's are very thankful for all the support here in the past month... Talk to you all soon.

Frenchy

December 2008 Update

Once again, we are in the midst of the baseball offseason, and with the short time (and admittedly, interest in the topic) available, I've decided to jot down a few thoughts and random notes regarding the team and the affiliated Hudson baseball scene since my last entry. Firstly, I should point out that Hudson HS baseball coach Ryan Huppert and his staff were able to renovate and rebuild the high school baseball field in mid-September. Their efforts radically changed what had been a relative blight on the baseball landscape into what should prove to be a gem of an infield come next spring. I'd be remiss to forget the labor put into the effort by several Hudson River Rats, most notably Rob Barabe, who helped to coordinate the recruiting with Coach Huppert, Brian Sparstad (who also helped with planning and material acquisition), Mike Ratz (another source of materials and labor), Brian Rudesill, Craig Jilek, Jason Bast, and even former River Rat John McGinley. Kudos also to Randy Lau, father of former Rat Tim Lau, who also busted his butt to help with the field work (and has done so for the Hudson baseball program for MANY years!)

Further improvements to the complex are promised in 2009, and we have Ryan Huppert, Rob Barabe, Brian Rudesill, Randy Lau, Mike Ratz, and many others to thank for this... In November, the team once again hosted its annual fun and frivolity event "Denim Days" at Pudge's Bar and Grill in downtown Hudson. The team managed to raise $100 thanks to the coordination of GM Rob Barabe, his wife Carrie, and the encouragement of Joel Schaffer, Brian Rudesill, and others. Photos from the event are posted throughout various Facebook pages, but I'd like to thank all the River Rats, former River Rats, friends, family, and associates who attended. Needless to say, a good time was had by all that afternoon / evening.

At last note, special congratulations are due to both Andy LaBrosse and Russ Jiskra, as they secured spots on the UW-Stout varsity baseball team in 2009. Having spoken to both players briefly, I know they're fired up about the season, even if it's still mid-December. To the best of my knowledge, nobody has tendered their resignation or retirement papers for 2009, so the team appears to remain intact, minus the absence of Paul Johnson, who will be working in Delaware until August 2009. Team officials are negotiating possible travel plans in June and July to have him play the required three league games for playoff eligibility, but GM Rob Barabe hasn't commented on those negotiations.

A tentative date for the River Rat management meeting was set for Saturday, January 10th, but a time hasn't been secured-- it is expected that the team will discuss next season's budget, new financial options, sponsorship, a 2009 roster, scheduling, recruiting, and the 2nd annual Poker Tournament during the meeting. The Rats hope to secure a few new players for 2009, but eagerly await the return of their veteran squad. Thanks to everyone for checking out the website in the offseason, and Happy Holidays to you and yours!

2008 Greatest Hits and Performances, Volume 1 

The 2008 baseball season has ended once and for all (at least for teams competing for the Wisconsin Baseball Association championship), and much to the chagrin of Messers LaBreche and Barabe, the River Rats did NOT end up with the state title.  That honor was earned by the very team that eliminated our beloved River Rats from competition in the semi-finals, the Eau Claire Bears...  It seems only fitting that Eau Claire's town team would have the firepower to knock out the Rats, who were led by several former Eau Claire players (i.e. Joel Schaffer and Jason Bast, who grew up in Eau Claire, along with Craig Jilek and Sean Parnell who played for the Cavaliers there.)  Added to that, the only team that was a constant thorn in the side of the incoming Muppets while they played throughout high school was... Eau Claire.  Cruel justice perhaps, or simply just a reminder that while the River Rats were very good in 2008, they were just a bit shy of being the best.

That stated, we can't forget the season that was 2008, nor can we forget the fun and games we had all year-- who, after all, would have predicted that:

1) Joel Schaffer would lead the team in stolen bases at age 32?

2) Brian Sparstad would post a 10-1 record in his rookie season?

3) Rob Barabe would go 2 for 3 against one of the league's best closers down in Plum City?

4) Sean Parnell would play for the Rats and hit the cork out of the ball nearly every time he put it in play?

5) Paul Johnson would put together a 7-0 record with a 1.34 ERA on the year?

6) Jason Bast would continue to thrive at age 38, posting a batting average well over .300 all season?

7) Brian Rudesill would hit three homers in a weekend at Ellsworth, extending his tourney dominance there?

8) Kirk Krumrei, Mitch Lewis, Chris Kein, and Russ Jiskra would be excellent Muppet additions to the River Rats?

9) Joel Carlson would not only earn several new nicknames, but would slide across the hood of a cop car at 2 AM in Menomonie, and then lead the team in saves for the season?

10) Andy LaBrosse would streak around the diamond before the Plum City Tournament championship game dressed only in tennis shoes and a pink thong provided by an unnamed Registered Nurse living in Minneapolis, Minnesota?

11) Craig Jilek would not only play with the Rats, but play regularly and solidly in the field?

12) Everyone would survive the whole season without major meltdowns, bench clearing brawls, or muppets crying because they were sternly scolded by a man with an intense fear of little people?

The fact that we were able to win 12 of 15 games in a competitive amateur baseball league in 2008 was a nice feather to put in one's cap, if one were so inclined to put feathers in caps.  (We're usually doing other things with feathers, but I digress...)  Adding to that was the excellent addition of several new team members, who we all hope can return to the fold in 2009-- you know who you are, so I won't bother with the details.  When I say that it was an honor to have managed the team in 2008, I honestly mean that-- I've been blessed over the years to have worked with and watched many talented baseball players compete for the River Rats-- this season was a privilege.  So many people put time and effort in to make it come together in a coherent shape, but I have to extend my gratitude to Rob Barabe for his managerial skills and prowess...  Without the Barabe, none of this (or at least very little of it) would have been possible.  Despite his constant griping about phone calls, e-mails, and a lack of managerial structure, his heart and desire for the team are in the right place...  We all tip our caps to you, SCVBL General Manager of the Decade.

My admiration also goes out first to Joel Schaffer-- for bringing in Sean Parnell, for catching 30 plus games, and for keeping the ship sailing along when I was simply standing back and enjoying the view, thanks for 2008...  Secondly, praise be to Brian Rudesill, who proves that year after year he can still play baseball without embarrassing himself (at least on most at bats) all the while pitching like a guy who's at least ten years younger than he his (insert your own joke about the exact age that is).  Without Rudy, veteran insurrections would've occurred on a regular basis, and after all, it was Rudy who convinced both Jason Bast and Craig Jilek to play this year.  Yes, I haven't put a new Rudy's Corner up this year, but I don't have any new photos that can be posted on a PG-13 website (do websites actually have ratings?)

Third, my appreciation goes out to Craig Jilek, whose presence and leadership made everything coalesce nicely on the field and in the dugout.  Much like an excellent wine paired to a five star entree, Jilly's play turned a good effort into a great one nearly every game (OK, 60% of the time it worked every time...)  Fourth, I wanted to thank Paul Johnson for coming back in 2008 to pitch for the Rats-- Paul is one of the most humble, disciplined, and kind young men I've met in over 15 years of baseball.  He truly is a counter weight to the degenerate fools I've normally associated with for most of my adulthood.  (That doesn't even include some of my best friends, mind you.)  I'm simply proud to have managed him on a baseball team for a few years-- I can't imagine how proud his parents must be of him-- we hope his work out in Delaware is both professionally and personally fulfilling-- even if we can't see him for a year.

Special thanks and man love go out to all of the muppets-- I will miss you clowns as you head back to school this fall.  It was a pleasure working with you guys and seeing you ply your talents on the field-- Sparsy, Mitch, Krumrei, Jiskra, and Cago-- you guys all kick ass...  Just don't get too crazy down at school (excepting you, Pimpy-- you'll be over in Eagan, so if nothing else, I can always keep an eye on you.)  Andy and Phildo-- thanks for the love and the memories-- you Stillwater guys are a little goofy, but I love how you play the game, even if it isn't always the easiest way to do it.

Lest I forget, thanks to Stellie, Bast, Schultzie, Ruppy, Dan Wahlman, Doug Howard, Ken Corbett, and all of our fans and family members for cheering on the River Rats this year.  I hope the effort I put into managing paid off in some small way for all of you...  I'll be adding more later on, but for now, thanks for visiting and partaking of my little corner of the web.  Hope to see you soon, wherever that may be... 

For the Benefit of Mr. Luebker (there will be a show tonight down at Dean's)  (8/4/08)

Another year, another trip to the playoffs.  The River Rats have been extremely fortunate in that regard over its 9 season existence, only failing to appear in the WBA playoffs twice-- the first time in 2001 with what had been a pretty good team (without pitching, of course), the second time in 2004 with what was just a god awful team that nobody wanted to play on in mid to late July of that year.  2008 truly has been great for the Rats, however, it hasn't been all smiles and giggles for other teams.  We were reminded of that fact this past weekend when we went to Plum City to participate in the Gordy Luebker Benefit tournament. 

While I was able to graciously accept the well wishes of several teams we wouldn't be seeing in the playoffs (at least not until the finals in a few cases), my presence really paled in light of the reason why we were all there-- to help out a guy who for the most part kept to himself and played baseball (and bear with me while I bring out the old standard here) "the way it was meant to be played."  The Gordy I knew from my years of managing and coaching in and around the league from 1994 to 2008 was a low key infielder / pitcher who could be counted on like clockwork-- consistent, dependable, and sturdy.  Like most farmers I'm aware of (granted, that number is small), he is and has been a self-reliant worker-- always willing to go the extra yard for his family and friends.  After all, what other options does a farmer have?  He is also a gracious man, soft spoken, yet surprisingly intense and demanding when necessary-- I'm sure his family and teammates would attest to that...

I was pleased to see so many people at the tournament, both for the games and for the benefit events that accompanied the baseball-- while I'm not sure how much money was raised, I can say for certain that the whole day was a first class operation, and we were all grateful to have participated in the event.  We are also very thankful for the kind words and praise we received from everyone in Plum City, from fans, players, family, and Gordy himself.  It was a reminder not only of the fun we have every Memorial Day weekend in Plum City, but of the all the connections we share to Gordy, to Plum City, and to the teams in our little baseball league...  We couldn't have asked for or received a much better day to play and stay there!

As for playing, we participated in the third of a five game schedule against the Menomonie Eagles.  In the interest of levity, I decided to forego any illusion of serious competition by giving both Joel Schaffer and Jason Bast an opportunity to show their respective man crushes for each other by allowing them to each throw an inning.  Schaffer, taking the hill in the third inning, allowed 4 hits, including a double by Luke Schultz, although he was a dropped third strike away from leaving the inning without a run.  Unfortunately, he proceeded to hit Joe Mohr on a 3-2 count, followed by an RBI single by Andy Lorenzen, and a further RBI single by Brandon O'Connell before retiring Ryan Stace on a fly out to left field.

Jason Bast's sixth inning was marred by an error in right field by Rat infielder Mitch Lewis, who was playing out of position to allow Schaffer to play second base-- the error allowed Tanner Vavra (son of Minnesota Twins hitting coach Joe Vavra) to move to second after leading off with a walk.  Vavra would later score on Joe Mohr's RBI single...  Bast was crafty, however, inducing Lorenzen to hit into a 6-4-3 double play turned by Andy LaBrosse and Joel Schaffer.  Barring bizarre circumstances, however, it may be the last time the Schaff will play second base wearing a River Rat uniform (now the Shipwrecks are another situation altogether, but I digress.)  Against popular appeal, the question of who is a better River Rat pitcher between Bast and Schaffer will be judged in favor of one Jason A. Bast, U.S. of A.

In the interests of time and good taste, I will refrain from discussing several events which occurred downtown later that evening and the next morning, but suffice it to say, there were some disturbing moments of decidedly homoerotic behavior that are normally only seen in adult entertainment videos.  Leather and baby oil anyone?

Thanks to everyone for their attendance this weekend, and especially to the Blues for inviting us-- we only hope we were as gracious as guests as you have been as exceptional hosts year after year.  I just pray we don't have to go up against Tony Garner and the Eagles in the WBA State Championship game on August 17th in Ashland.  Heller and the Eagles, yes...  Hoeft and the Eagles, sure...  But not Tony...  Hope to see you this weekend down in Osseo for our game against Bangor on Saturday night at 6 PM.  Should be a standout game!

We Like Short Shorts (and winning two games in a weekend...)  (July 27, 2008)

On behalf of the newly returned Sean Parnell, I would like to extend to everyone an invitation to a pants party next weekend down in Plum City.  We currently know that Rob Barabe will be attending, even if he plans on leaving shortly after Saturday's benefit game to go up to Hayward.  Be sure to bring plenty of refreshing beverages in any case...  Yes, it has been two weeks since the last website update, but if you don't like that, then you can just go crawl in a hole and stab yourself incessantly with a dull plastic fork.  Either that, or you can catch two games in a weekend between long drinking binges like our favorite captain, Joel Schaffer. 

To start the weekend, Saturday's game against the vaunted Menomonie Eagles ended up in the win column for the Rats.  The 3-2 battle was marked by solid pitching, sporadic offense, and critical errors.  Paul Johnson (7-0) was his usual dominating self, earning his seventh win of the year, striking out 10 Beagles while only allowing 2 runs (1 earned) in 8 innings.  Rizzle's ERA dropped to a scant 1.25, which is somewhere in the vicinity of Barabe and Schaffer's blood alcohol level following the game on Saturday evening...  Andy LaBrosse, Sean Parnell, and Mitch Lewis scored for the Rats, who took advantage of the Beagles inability to shut down the running game...  All in all, however, it was a good game and a great time playing our favorite rivals from the SCVBL.  A special thanks go out to the Welch family for their camaraderie and support-- a better family you will be hard pressed to find (although the Hollars and Johnsons are fantastic post-game hosts as well!)

On Sunday, the Rats headed to Bay City to play the final game of their SCVBL season, and as previously indicated, emerged victorious, 5-2.  Brian Sparstad (9-1) bounced back from a poor showing against Osceola on July 20th to earn his ninth win of the year against one loss-- Sparsy threw 7 innings, allowing only 2 hits (in the 7th), 2 unearned runs, and two walks while striking out 5 Bombers.  Travis Borowicz also recovered nicely from some previously sketchy outings to pick up the two inning save, striking out 3 while allowing no walks or hits.  Only Sean Parnell and Brian Rudesill collected multi hit games, while Andy LaBrosse and Kirk Krumrei scored two runs each-- Parnell and Jason Hollar doubled for the Rats, who stranded 8 runners and hit into two double plays (after also hitting into 2 double plays against Menomonie on Saturday.)

The River Rats (now 22-8 overall) finished the league season with an all time best win percentage (.800) and league wins (12), prompting general manager Rob Barabe to state that despite the team's success, it wasn't due to on-field strategy... 

Sharpies, Shutouts, and Shameless Behavior  (July 16, 2008)

One large party, two nice wins, and three great pitching performances (along with one inebriated River Rat) were the big stories from this past weekend.  It had been a week of the usual in-fighting and complaining that has marked the interaction between general manager and manager about a lack of players, lack of commitment, and standard issue angst about the team's chances to compete for a state title.  Compounding the problems would be a dearth of bodies for Saturday's game, brought on by a scheduling conflict with Brian Rudesill's annual July house party-- one for which he spends tens of thousands of dollars on a fireworks display for western Wisconsin...  Additionally, the squad would need to wait until nearly game time for Joel Schaffer's arrival (as usual), and topping that, the only relievers available would be guys who hadn't pitched an inning for the team all season. 

Fortunately, it worked out in the end.  The winds howled, the baseball gods smiled, and the Rats emerged victorious, 2-0.  Starter Paul Johnson threw eight innings of nasty baseball, earning not only a blister on the tip of his right index finger, but his sixth win of the year against no losses.  Muppet Kirk "Beeker" Krumrei was as talkative as his namesake, but he let his performance speak volumes-- 2 for 5, 1 run, and 2 put outs in right field.  Dr. Bunson Honeydew would be proud...  Nate Stellrecht, that veteran of veterans, picked up the save for the Rats, throwing the ninth inning, allowing 1 hit, while striking out 1.  Stellie also gave the anemic Rat offense a boost with his 2 for 3, 1 double, game winning RBI work at the plate.  A tip of the cap to Nate's wife Lisa, who when told that Nate had to go in because Paul Johnson had "nothing left in the tank", by Dan Wahlman, responded: "and Nate does?"

Following the game, the team's management staff, friends of the manager, Joel Schaffer, and Bo Duke headed to downtown Osceola for post-game celebratory refreshments...  Bo Duke made friends with one of the local townies, who thought he was a little "fruity"...  Later that night, the group would head to Rudy's to enjoy his party, however Bo would end up in an awkward position upstairs, garnering some artistic flourishes to his noteworthy visage.  I thought that writing "DORK" on his forehead was a little cruel, but it all washed off by the next game, thankfully...

Sunday's game against the Fighting Fish was another duel in the windy desert, as a sun baked and wind dried field made for a low-scoring affair.  As has happened previously, Brian Sparstad took the mound after a pivotal performance by Paul Johnson, and he threw brilliantly.  Utilizing the wind, Spars induced no less than 16 ground ball outs en route to his eighth win of the year (against no losses, mind you.)  The win was his first complete game, nine inning shutout of the season (although Spars has thrown three other complete games this year, this was the first nine inning performance.)  Offensively, the Rats only picked up 5 hits (which was also the total River Falls collected off Sparsy), but they were able to use their superior base running skills (or trick plays?) to rattle RF starter Rick Wells enough for three runs in the bottom of the fourth inning.  The inning began with a walk to Joel Schaffer, followed by a foul pop up by Craig Jilek.  Paul Ruppert walked, and Kirk Krumrei was hit by a pitch on an attempted squeeze play to load the bases.

When RF manager/catcher Josh Eidem forgot to check Schaffer at third and threw the ball back to Wells, Schaffer took off for home, scoring ahead of the relay from Wells...  Ruppert and Krumrei moved up on that play, and moved up again when Wells fired a ball five feet over the head of batter Mitch Lewis to the backstop.  Calling time, the Fish attempted to calm their starter down and regain their composure.  Lewis, however, walked, and then executed a double steal with Krumrei, who came in ahead of the throw from Fish second baseman Sam Giliuson.  Krumrei would score again in the bottom of the sixth on an Andy LaBrosse single to center field.

All in all, a good weekend of frivolity and baseball as the River Rats wind down the regular season.  The squad will head to New Richmond (4-7 SCVBL) on Friday night for a 7:30 PM tilt, and then will play back at home against the Osceola Braves (4-6 SCVBL) on Sunday afternoon at 1:05 PM.  While the Rats will be missing the services of Paul Johnson, Sean Parnell, and Mike Eicher, they plan to resume their winning ways with Brian Rudesill starting Friday's game and Brian Sparstad starting Sunday.  Hope to see you at the yard-- and thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Hollar for their providing a post-game spread of cookies, chips, hamburgers, and refreshments to the team and fans after Sunday's River Falls game!!!  Their hospitality and enthusiasm this year has been outstanding!

Tragedy of Errors In Ellsworth  (July 11, 2008)

It's been a little while since the last update, so I should start off by apologizing to the handful of readers out there dialing (or typing, or clicking up this page.)  The Rats dropped a league game in Ellsworth last Thursday night 11-10, and there weren't many positives to take from the game, despite: 1) keeping Brian Sparstad's record intact at 7-0 (while leaving him in long enough to drop a 6 run lead), 2) Craig Jilek hitting his first home run of the season, 3) Rudy throwing three innings of clutch shutout baseball.  Kudos to the Hubbers for their efforts in coming back to win, particularly to Jeremiah Paulson, who led off the bottom of the ninth with a base hit to center which he stretched to a double when Jason Hollar didn't field it quickly enough...  I hope the extended layoff for the team has paid off as we have two league games this weekend-- Osceola on Saturday afternoon, and River Falls on Sunday...

Ellsworth Tourney Tales   (June 29, 2008)

Top Stories of the Ellsworth Tourney

1.  Rudy's 3 homers in first two tourney games

2.  Rudy's disdain for Frenchy's reaction to Rudy's homers on his rounding third

3.  Discussion of Rudy's 3 homers, leading to speculation of career extension well into Rudy's sixties.

4.  Schaffer's hard-boiled egg story (replete with full, gruesome details)

5.  Andy LaBrosse's return to shortstop

6.  Andy's new friend Brody, Brody's hair, Brody's girlfriend, and their former high school classmate / murderer.

7.  Dugout commentary on Rudy's physique, prompting "bootylicious" and "ghettolicious" adjectives to describe his glutes.

8.  Schaff's 3 base throwing error in Friday's game on a dropped third strike, leading to Plum City tying the game.

9.  Craig Jilek and Jason Bast's hitting, prompting discussion of a recent strange alien artifact discovery in their neighborhood.

10.  Whatever comes out in the dugout during this afternoon's game against New Richmond...

The Rainbow Connection and other Muppet Stories...  (June 23, 2008)

Ah, summer has finally arrived...  With it, we enjoy longer days, shorter nights, warmer weather, and growing confidence from our Muppet ballplayers.  However, learning and experience know no boundaries.  For example, last Thursday I learned that despite scheduling a game that is possibly the closest in proximity to Joel Schaffer's residence in Apple Valley (we were playing in Burnsville), he still arrived only minutes before game time...  Of course, our starting pitcher only arrived about 20 minutes before game time as well, so I suppose that's the way we work.

Regarding the muppets though, the Schaff and company were proud as newborn dads with their efforts on Friday and Sunday, defeating the Menomonie Eagles on their field 5-3 Friday night, and the St. Croix River Bandits 3-1 at home on Sunday afternoon.  Paul Johnson picked up his fourth win of the year over the Beagles, a squad who has learned to respectfully despise the diminutively pious hurler from Hudson.  Johnson's 7 inning, 5 hit, 3 run gem of a game against a solid hitting Beagle lineup was workmanlike-- he admitted to not having his "best stuff" that night, but went on the recall a lovely meatloaf dish he'd prepared for his family earlier in the week.  Paul and Joel Schaffer are working in the off days to put together a River Rat cookbook / calendar for interested groupies and family members before the season ends...

Muppets Kirk Krumrei, Brian Sparstad, and Mitch Lewis played well overall, even though Krumrei's baserunning snafu in the top of the fifth led to a line-out double play, quashing a 1 out, runners on the corners situation for the Rats.  Nevertheless, the squad did well and partied like good 'ol boys later that evening in Menomonie...  The only problem that arose Saturday morning was with a certain unnamed River Rat trying to do his best Luke Duke impression by sliding over the hood of a Menomonie PD squad car...  Several hundred dollars later, the modern day Robin Hood would need his folks to post bail money.  Again, a lesson learned-- even if you're over 21, you can't intoxicate yourself and then go sliding over cop cars while stumbling back to your buddy's house.  I'd hate to think what would have happened if that incident occurred in a city like Minneapolis or Philadelphia (especially if the cops were in a bad mood!)

Sunday's matchup against the Bandits was a low scoring affair-- the Rats were filling in a lineup missing three of their top five hitters on the season (at least in terms of current batting average)-- Sean Parnell, Andy LaBrosse, and Kirk Krumrei.  To make up for it, muppet Brian Sparstad did his best Dr. Bunson Honeydew impersonation and performed a few experiments on the opposition, striking out 13 Bandit hitters in 8 innings of work, picking up his sixth win of the year.  Mr. Sunshine, Jason Bast, helped the Rat cause by going 2 for 5 with a run, while Chris "Gonzo" Kein scored the tying run of the game in the bottom of the third inning against Bandit starter Jay Gagner.  Only Mitch "Fozzie Bear" Lewis was at fault among the muppets for racks, picking up a rack for being doubled off second base on a soft liner to short right field in the bottom of the fourth to end the inning.

Much thanks to Jason Hollar and Paul Johnson's families for their pre (and post) game spread of excellently prepared bratwurst, chips, and cookies for the team-- we will include a bratwurst recipe in the upcoming cookbook to accompany Sean Parnell's jello shot recipe.  Kudos also to Ken Corbett for helping out with the book, Rob Barabe for his purchase of popsicles, and Dan Wahlman for his medical services before and after the games.  Hope to see you all at the Ellsworth tournament next weekend when the lads take their 15-5 record into the Cheese Curd capital of the World!

NAF and a Half / New Richmond Tourney Gaffes  (June 16, 2008)

Another week, another tourney, and another two wins for the River Rats...  Despite lacking a good part of the squad (as we typically do on Father's Day weekend), the squad gamely battled through the New Richmond Invitational tournament for the first time, managing to win the consolation championship (i.e. 5th place) on Father's Day afternoon.  On Friday night, the Rats took on the Minneapolis Cobras, losing a disappointing 3-0 game wherein the team managed a mere four hits against the goofy, yet talented Matt Germar, who had previously played with Joel Schaffer, Mike Eicher, and Brian Rudesill during their fall trip to Florida two years ago.  Combined with stellar defense behind him, Germar earned a win, and the animosity of many Rat players who took his "in your face" antics personally before shaking hands.

On Saturday, the Rats played the Ellsworth Hubbers for the second time in 2008, three weeks to the day after defeating them in the Plum City tournament.  Unlike the first game, the Hubbers were without the services of shortstop Lance Hove, centerfielder Nick Hove, and starting pitcher Jesse Winger (not to mention umpire Mike DeWyre.)  Like the first game, the Hudson nine started Paul Johnson, and emerged victorious, winning 4-0 on the strength of Johnson's two hit, 2 walk shutout.  Enhanced by our youthful Muppet lineup and the gracefully aging Mike Eicher, the Rats used Brian Sparstad's clutch 2 out, 2 RBI single in the bottom of the fourth to open the scoring against Hubber / NR Miller starting pitcher Cody Torkelson.  Left / Right fielder Chris Kein also helped the cause with 2 runs, adding another pair of walks to his already impressive walk totals on the year...

After the game, Joel Schaffer and Mike Eicher discussed the finer points of Chilean Sea Bass preparation and the best places to dine on sushi in the Twin Cities with Jen and Garrett Birkel while watching the Cobras play the Exeland Braves...  We're not sure if the Schaff will give up his career with Ecolab to follow his dream of becoming a chef for the Milwaukee Brewers, but until he does, he's more than happy to share his thoughts on grilling, seafood, and finding the appropriate wine for whatever you're putting on the table for your significant other(s).

On Sunday, the Rats played the NWS Redhawks, winning a tightly played 4-2 game.  Brian Sparstad improved to 5-0 on the year with the complete game win, allowing five hits and 1 walk and striking out four Redhawk batters.  Mitch Lewis delivered on his only hit of the weekend, a game winning 2 out single in the top of the seventh that scored the gimpy Jason Bast and equally gimpy Joel Schaffer.  A tip of the cap goes to Sparstad, who avoided a 7th inning meltdown after he saw the third out pop out of the glove of first baseman Brian Rudesill after a high throw by Joel Carlson...  The Redbirds then loaded the bases on two infield singles after that, but Sparstad induced a game ending soft liner to second baseman Paul Johnson to end the contest.

Special thanks goes out to New Richmond coach/player Ryan Stephens for running a nice tournament, Jason Hollar for his amusing "NAF and a half" quote (i.e. Non-Athletic Fellow) on Sunday, and all of the Rats who stuck around after the games for revelry and jokes on Friday and Saturday nights.  The boys have a busy week ahead of them this time around, as Burnsville, Menomonie, and St. Croix Falls will not be the easiest three game set of the year...  This will mark the first time in five years that Hudson has played Burnsville, and Menomonie will bring a league leading 6-0 record into the Friday showdown at Wakanda Park.  Hope to see you at the yard!

Woodbury Rain / Elmwood Pain; Prescott Defeat / Division Wins Replete  (June 9, 2008)

The last two weeks haven't been too busy with baseball, but they have been with work-- so I've refrained from my usual weekend recaps for a bit.  I can tell you aren't interested in excuses, so I'll hold off with those for a while.  On May 29th, we decided to head over to Woodbury for a cold and rainy exercise in "practice" baseball, playing a rain and darkness shortened game against the Legends, who despite their friendly demeanor, were legendary in no way.  Sans uniforms and umpire, they opted to take on the Rats, losing 9-3 in four innings.  The best part of the game was the ending, although Sean Parnell's shot to left field was impressive too.  On May 31st, the Expos took their lumps en route to a 15-2 ass kicking delivered by the red and black-- not only did Parnell homer again, but Rudy doubled, and everyone in the starting lineup scored at least once.  Not often you can say that...  Then again, it's not often that you catch the Expos with their "B" squad on a Saturday.  I'm starting to think we should save some of our runs for future games in case we need them...

For Sunday's game against the Pirates in Prescott, we tapped starter Paul Johnson, but his 8 strikeout, 1 walk, 8 hit performance in six innings of work in the hot sun was not enough to emerge victorious...  The merciless Pirates forced reliever Joel Carlson to walk the plank en route to his first loss of the season-- Carlson couldn't find his control after playing in the field for over an hour (and working the grills and fryers earlier that morning I believe), surrendering 4 runs (2 earned), 4 hits, and 4 walks.  The Rats victimized themselves uncharacteristically in the game as well, committing critical errors in the sixth and seventh innings-- Mitch Lewis' dropped ball at second turned what could have been a double play into an unearned run scored by Pirate manager Brady Randolph.  Jason Hollar's drop of a Chris Terrazas shallow fly to right center field also cost the team at least one, if not two runs, although the Pirates did leave the bases loaded in both the seventh and eighth innings.  The Rats did fight to the finish-- after leadoff walks to Carlson and DH Russ Jiskra, Brian Sparstad struck out, followed by a bloop single to right field by Lewis to load the bases.  The rally ended promptly afterwards, as Jason Hollar's low opposite field liner was snared by Prescott shortstop Justin Tobias, who doubled up Jiskra off second base with a quick throw to Buck Hendrickson.

A sad end to the weekend, but the Rats took their 2-1 league record on the road the following Saturday to Osceola, for a matchup not against the hometown Braves, but against the nearby St. Croix Falls River Bandits.  The Bandits made the mistake of scheduling us at the end of a three game set in four nights, lacking pitching depth, a few regular starters, and for all intents and purposes, hopes and prayers.  The Rats showed patience at the plate, earning 10 walks while pounding out 10 hits in a 16-0 win.  Starter Travis Borowicz pitched at least two innings with his fly down, but it didn't matter-- after five innings of perfect baseball, he allowed a leadoff single to shallow center field in the sixth.  Bearing down, Tricked Out worked his way out of the inning after loading the bases with one out...  Borowicz's shutout was his second of the season (his first was a 7 inning no decision start against the impressive La Crosse Athletics almost three weeks ago.)  Offensively, the squad pumped out three doubles and a homer, with Sean Parnell and Joel Schaffer re-living their college glory days in Carson Park with the late, great Harv Tomter and Craig Jilek-- Parnell went 2 for 5 with 2 runs, 2 doubles and 3 RBI, and Schaffer went 1 for 3 with a solo homer and two runs scored.  Additionally impressive was Chris Kein's 5 walk, 3 run, 2 RBI performance in the leadoff spot...

On Sunday, I took my hobbled body over to Hudson to watch the squad play the New Richmond Millers.  Despite an early 2-1 deficit, the Rats battled solid pitching by Miller starter TJ Wink, who threw six impressive innings, allowing only two runs, 8 hits, and 1 walk.  In the seventh inning, though, the wheels came off for the Miller nine-- Cody Torkelson started the seventh and recorded two outs, but gave up a line shot double to the left center gap off the bat of Sean Parnell.  The hit was so strong that it allowed Brian Rudesill to wheel his way home from first base-- a feat I honestly haven't seen since Rudy was playing in Spring Valley...  With a 4-2 deficit and two outs, the Millers brought in veteran Tim Brown to face Joel Schaffer, who worked his way onto the open base with a walk.  Phildo Carlson delivered yet again this year, blooping a 1-2 pitch down the left field line for a double, scoring Parnell and Schaffer.  Kirk Krumrei's infield grounder to third led to a throwing error, scoring Carlson-- Rob Barabe ended the inning with a soft liner to third, but the Rats would take a commanding 7-2 lead into the eighth, whereupon Paul Johnson would throw the last inning of another great start-- Johnson's line-- 8 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 9 SO, 81 pitches (59 strikes, 22 balls.)  Ted Golberg closed up the game for the Rats, working 1 inning, allowing a 1 out double to Curt Kleinschmidt before ending with a fly out to Chris Kein in right field and a second strikeout for the final out.

The Rats will take its show on the road again next weekend to New Richmond for a late night appearance on Friday night against the Minneapolis Cobras at 9 PM.  Following that, they will play at 8 PM on Saturday (win) or 4 PM Saturday (loss).  Hope to see you all there!

PC Tourney Tales, Part II  (June 9, 2008)

Lest we forget the tourney that was PC 2008, I should mention the last two games we managed to play that weekend-- the Sunday afternoon butt kicking we endured at the hands of the Prescott Pirates and heavy thumper Nick Johnson 9-1, and an 8-5 comeback win against the young and thriving River Falls Fighting Fish on Monday afternoon...  In the Pirates game, we faced a very strong performance by Pirate starter Jon Holt, who threw 5 innings, allowing only 1 run, 4 walks, and 3 hits while mowing down 8 Rat hitters.  Rat starter Brian Rudesill didn't fare as well, surrendering 9 hits in 6 innings, with 4 walks, 8 earned runs, and 4 strikeouts...  Needless to say, the gang wasn't terribly fired up about the post game Sunday night bat races-- however, "The Schaff" and I decided it was best to participate instead of acting like sore losers, and we sent him to race with Nate Hendricks, Joel Carlson, and Craig Jilek.  To cap a day of disappointment, the Rats lost the race, but were lucky in the sense that they only had to compete once.  The Elmwood Expos and Menomonie Eagles battled it out for an agonizing span of three or four races before somebody had the decency to pull the plug on the game, and the inebriated banter from the press box speakers.  What I learned that evening is that only a few well trained individuals can really pull off the method of comedy torture-- and those people weren't in Plum City that night.  On the flip side, we did meander down to Dean's after all was said and done and held our standard court session with a number of the Beagles and River Rats, not to mention Fighting Fish great Nathan Brom...

With getaway day on the horizon, I'd made one critical mistake-- I had forgotten to tell the squad EXACTLY when we were playing on Monday afternoon.  I'd instinctively told the team in the post game huddle Sunday night that we'd be playing at 3 PM, but mentioned that people should check the board before they leave.  Of course, the game was actually played at 1:30 PM, which meant that at least two, if not three starters were late for the game.  Stupid, yes, but with nineteen or twenty guys walking by the schedule on the wall, somebody should've caught the mistake...  Not so much, though.

For the game itself, we managed to come back from two separate 1 run deficits in the third and fifth innings to hold onto the aforementioned 8-5 win.  Lost in the shuffle for the Fish was a nice start by ex-New Richmond Miller Luke Meier, who threw four nice innings before Brandon Gilbertson came in to set a nice gasoline fire in the fifth, loading the bases for fireballing reliever Rick Wells, who had the unenviable task of facing a disgruntled Sean Parnell.  With a 3-2 count after fouling off three pitches, Parnell roped a shot into the left-center gap, clearing the paths...  Not wanting to be greedy, the Rats then went down in order afterwards, leaving Parnell at third after a balk.  In the sixth, the Rats scored another three runs, this time with two outs-- "Phildo" Joel Carlson took an 0-2 hit by pitch, and moved up on an infield single by Jason Hollar.  Rat ringer Mike Carrell worked a nice walk to load the satchels again, and Sean Parnell worked the count full yet again before hitting a ground shot to Fish third sacker Nate Brom, who overthrew Ryan Gilbertson at first base-- with the runners on the move, the speedy (yet gracefully aging) MC made his way home, giving the Rats another 3 spot and an 8-3 lead before Craig Jilek ended the inning on a hard hit grounder to Brom (who made the play this time around...)

The Fish made it interesting in the top of the seventh, scoring two runs off Tricked Out Travis Borowicz, who came in to relieve starter Brian Sparstad.  The Fish plated Clint Kempf and Adam Steussel with one out, and had the tying run at the plate in the form of Fish DH Scott Warrington, who had only two days before powered his squad to a trouncing of the host Blues via an extra inning grand slam.  Fortunately, Travis induced a grounder to Sean Parnell at first, who tossed the ball back to him to end the game...

With our mission completed, a majority of the team hung around to watch the championship game between Menomonie and Prescott, with Menomonie overcoming an early deficit to win 8-3...  As usual, I'd like to thank the Plum City Blues for inviting us down again-- they've done a great job fixing up the park and the field, and were entertaining as always around the concession stand.  I'd also like to specifically thank Chris Radle and Matt Sperger for their work and entertainment in the press box on Saturday and Sunday, and also Kurt Bechel for his tasty and energetic fretwork with his band on Saturday night at Molly's.  Not quite as good as the Rush concert I'd seen two days before, but damn entertaining nevertheless...

Thanks are also due to all of the people who made it down to the tourney with the Rats this time around-- this includes the aforementioned players, fans, friends, and relatives who either camped out with us, or simply drove down to play.  Shout outs to my favorite Beagle master, Qui Gon Welch, his lovely wife Angie, and their equally adorable son Owen...  Also much thanks to the other Beagle standouts-- Luke Schultz, Rob Heller, Mike Schmidt, Erik Johnson, Andy Podmolik, Joe Mohr, Brad Stokke, and my all-time favorite rock star, Travis Welch.  Additional tips of the cap go out to the Elmwood Expos and specifically Brent Blegen and Jonah Lansing, along with Expo fan Toby Roach who earned his $100 streaking during our game with Prescott on Sunday afternoon...  For Brady, Buck, Nick, and the rest of the Prescott nine, I offer a hearty congratulations and tip of the cap for their performance over the weekend, despite coming up short on Monday-- there was no shame losing to the Beagles this time around-- both of your squads are pretty nice this season.  A last mention of thanks goes out to the great guys on the Ellsworth Hubbers-- Darren Maxwell, Brian Amundson, Lance Hove, and Garrett Birkel to mention only a few-- I've always admired their style and their baseball, even if we didn't always win.  Keep up the good work, your bats should keep you in competition for the playoffs this year!  Thanks and congrats also to Bay City and River Falls for filling out the tourney (Bay City at least)-- it seemed as though everyone enjoyed themselves and played some decent baseball, even if I wasn't always there to watch!

We look forward to our next trip to PC, to play in the Gordy Luebker benefit tourney-- keep Gordy in your thoughts and prayers as he continues his recovery-- it was great to see him out at the yard!  Lastly, and finally, thanks to Shaun Miley and Mark Luebker for dealing with our grumpy and sometimes disagreeable bunch again-- it's always a blast...

Plum City Tournament Tales, Part I (May 30, 2008)

Despite repeated efforts to the contrary, yours truly managed not only an amateur baseball team through yet another Memorial Day Weekend tournament in Plum City, but also managed infrequent sobriety and respiratory health for nearly three days straight.  What follows is my closest recollection of events from last weekend, beginning on Friday afternoon in Lakeland to Monday night back in Minnesota...  This season's trip to Plum City marked my third as a father, meaning that I would be shirking my paternal responsibilities and leaving my parental role for my ever patient wife (and also partially to my pregnant sister-in-law)-- for that, I cannot begin to properly express my gratitude and praise...  That stated, my journey began with a seemingly desultory road trip down to PC on Friday afternoon with Andy "Gizmo" LaBrosse, R. Dallas Hickory, and Rat Hall of Famer Jeffrey P. Schultz-- aided by Jeff's "100% Disco" compilation CD and some cold refreshments. 

After we quickly discovered that Gizmo was a far better shortstop than a road trip bartender, we were already on the other side of Ellsworth, driving a safe 55 miles an hour on US Highway 10-- fortunately for us, that only left around 20 miles to navigate to our eventual 72 hour campsite!  Upon arrival, we set up camp and greeted our eventual camp mates, including "the Fan" Nate Hendricks, my brother in law Dan Wahlman, surrogate "groupie" Angie Thissen, and a nearly all of our Rat Muppets / FNG's.  Sean Parnell and Brian Rudesill also arrived on the scene with RV's in tow, and after all was set up, the crew sat around the campfire and proceeded to tell scary stories of ghosts and goblins... The Rats also greeted fellow campers from River Falls (at their Aquarium), Menomonie (sans Beagle Dome), and Elmwood before briefly stopping at the concession stand for a quick beverage prior to the traditional trip downtown.

J. Schaffer arrived shortly thereafter in his GMC Cartoon Mobile, and the night was officially called to order at Main Street Junction downtown...  Despite numerous warnings to avoid parlor games, GM R. Dallas Barabe challenged several veteran Beagles to a game of 7-14-21, and not surprisingly ended up out in the street later, ritualistically praying to the altar of lost lunches shortly before midnight.  We would later make our way to Molly's and Dean's down the street, heading back to camp just before closing.  Several Rats were puzzled by the copious amount of saliva produced by one R. Dallas, not knowing that the old "drool-off" was a favorite game played by Plum City catcher Shaun Miley, PC infielder / manager Mark Luebker, and anyone else who wanted to just gross out other onlookers at exotic locations such as Maiden Rock, Spring Valley, or Exile.

After getting back to the RV at 3 AM, yours truly and R. Dallas were only slightly surprised and dismayed by the presence of Gizmo and Phildo sleeping together on one of the beds, with Doritos crumbs coating nearly every horizontal surface from the door to the refrigerator.  Tucking them both gently into their beds, I shut off the light and went to sleep, hoping to catch at least a few hours of slumber before the crack of noon...  Sadly, somebody woke up the sleeping Bear at 7:45 AM, and after a five minute round of random yells, I opted to get up-- head throbbing and sleep deprivation notwithstanding.

For the rest of the morning and early afternoon, I would nurse my relatively minor hangover in the company of the dynamic Durand Duo, Chris Radle and Matt Sperger, helping out in the press box with the day's scorebook and announcing duties.  In game one, Elmwood faced off against Menomonie, playing decently for a while until the wheels came off en route to a 13-1 defeat in five innings.  The Beagles took full advantage of several Expo miscues and kept up the beating until it was over...  In game two, the River Falls Fighting Fish battled the home town Blues, with the Fish posting an extra inning touchdown and field goal in the top of the ninth to win 12-3.  The squads traded leads throughout the game, with an early 1-0 lead for the Blues followed by a 2-1 response in the 2nd inning by the Fish...  Shaun Miley's solo shot tied the game at 2 in the bottom of the third, and Tony Garner would later give the Blues another lead in the 5th, scoring on a two out Miley single.  Trevor Gutting tied the game again at 3 on a two out single by Clint Kempf, but couldn't get the lead run across.  Both squads went down in order in their next inning, but the Blues looked to be on the verge of victory when Tony Garner and Bjorn Kadlec took one-out walks to put Zach Watkins at the plate.  On a 1-0 pitch, Watkins hit a sharp grounder to Ryan Gilbertson, who turned a 3-6-3 double play to end the threat and send the game into extra innings.  Neither team managed more than three hitters in the 8th inning, but the ninth was another story altogether...

PC's Cory Briedan ran out of steam in the ninth (having followed Zach Watkins), allowing back to back Fish doubles with one out to make the score 4-3 Fish.  After a Brian Giebel walk and a Nathan Brom out, it briefly appeared that the Blues could escape with minimal damage-- however, Ryan Gilbertson walked the bases loaded and then trotted home after DH Scott Warrington took a first pitch fastball out of the park for a grand slam homer-- 8-3 Fish.  After Gutting walked, Joe Behnke was hit by a pitch, and Sam Giliuson singled to load the bases, Clint Kempf stepped up and delivered yet another grand slam homer, this time on a 3-2 pitch.  Josh Bauer would soon relieve Briedan, retiring Nathan Brom on a fly out to deep left, and like that, the game was more or less complete...

Not wishing to watch the Bay City - Prescott matchup, I opted to return to the campsite for a short respite and a leisurely lunch in the privacy of my RV...  Within an hour or so, I was happy to see the arrival of our St. Olaf graduates for their first appearance in 2008-- Paul Johnson and Jason Hollar...  Before I knew it, we were all getting ready for our first matchup of the tourney, the Ellsworth Hubbers.  Two hours, 13 runs, and countless bad calls by the home plate umpire later, the Rats emerged with a 13-4 victory, complements of our St. Olaf baseball connection and the efforts of Paul Ruppert, Sean Parnell, and nearly every other member of the River Rat offense.  The amusing comment of the game came from Joel Schaffer, who asked longtime SCVBL fixture and former Ellsworth Hubber Mike Dewyre (the home plate umpire) if his view was being blocked...  Anyone else would have promptly removed Mr. Schaffer from the game.

For Saturday's post-game festivities, the squad retreated to the campsite, enjoying tales of yore and various refreshments with friends, wives, and family.  Special kudos to our friends who provided additional campfire refreshment that evening! 

Before I continue, allow me to post two lists that came to mind...

Top 10 Favorite Plum City Campfire Beverages

1.  Miller Lite

2.  Michelob Golden Light

3.  Gatorade Screamers (vodka mixed with Fruit Punch Gatorade)

4.  Apple Pie (moonshine) / Jell-o shots

5.  Boone's Farm (various flavors)

6.  Jag Bombs (in honor of Nick Noack's 2005 performance in Ashland)

7.  Southern Comfort and Diet Coke / Schwepp's Ginger Ale

8.  Goldschlager

9.  Bottled water

10.  Fresh urine consumed from the side of a paper plate (Menomonie Beagles only)

Please note that nearly all of the above listed beverages are / were to be consumed only after 11 PM, with the exception of the beverages sold by our gracious hosts, the Plum City Blues.

Top 10 Rackable Offenses From the Weekend

1.  Failure to provide correct time for Monday's game versus River Falls

2.  Inability of nearly all Rat FNG's to score with Plum City slump buster(s) from Friday night until Monday afternoon

3.  Passing out in front of the campfire and being tied to one's chair with athletic tape

4.  Incoherent white boy suburban rapping around the campfire (a double rack)

5.  Missing three steal signs in a row without calling time out to figure why they were given

6.  Flashing three steal signs in an indirect and confusing manner (a triple rack)

7.  Leaving no less than 12 beers half drank both in and around the manager's RV

8.  Failure to field a team of FNG racers for Sunday's bat race contest because of extreme emotional instability

9.  Failure to provide a screening schedule of movies / cartoons in Schaffer's van for all River Rat players and fans

10.  Voluntarily mentioning any personal batting or pitching statistics during a casual conversation

(More to follow later...)

Plum City Preludes  (May 19, 2008)

Before I launch into another long dissertation on the nature of the Plum City Memorial Day tournament and why it's so wonderful, uplifting, enervating, engaging, and downright mystical, I should get a few things out of the way here about the last week or so.  The squad played three non-league games this past week-- the first was a slogging of the Mudhens last Wednesday down at Rich Valley Athletic Complex #9-- an 11-1 ass kicking that featured the River Rat debuts of both Russ Jiskra and Kirk Krumrei (not to mention the theoretical debut of fill-in Nathan Brom, but no matter...)  Despite your author's game time arrival, the squad posted a five spot in the top of the first inning and never looked back...  Also returning to the fold on the hill was Mike Ratz, who gave up a walk and induced a double play pitching in the sixth inning.  Brian "Sparzy" Sparstad picked up the win with five crafty innings of work, allowing only a run on five hits while walking five and striking out one Mudhen batter.  Bully to GM / hitting professional Rob Barabe for his gutty pinch hitting performance in the seventh inning-- after taking a pitch in the elbow to earn a spot at first, he was promptly hit in the back by an errant throw as he nimbly jogged to second on a fielder's choice.  After a Jiskra shot to right center, the Bear made his way home-- sparkplug, manager, master thespian.

On Sunday afternoon, the Rats hosted the young and talented La Crosse Athletics for a pair of games at Grandview Park in Hudson.  Sadly the squad had to make do without the services of one Joel Schaffer, who was placed on the 15 day DL following a bizarre golf cart accident at St. Croix National GC on Friday.  Bringing a new definition to the term abrasion, Schaff was quick to display his numerous wounds to anyone and everyone on the team...  In his absence, however, the squad picked up the pieces (not the scabs or pus mind you) en route to a split-- a 1-0 extra inning win in game #1, and a 3-1 loss in game #2.  For game 1, Travis Borowicz threw masterfully for a second year starter, pitching seven innings of four hit baseball, earning 2 strikeouts while hitting 2 batsmen and walking 1 A's batter.  Newly acquired lefty Ted Golberg vultured the win with two innings of work, pitching out of a bases loaded jam in the top of the eighth.  Golberg struck out 2, walked 2, and allowed one hit.  Debuting for the Rats in game #1 were two of our newest FNG's-- outfielder Chris "Raising" Kein, and infielder Mitch "Jerry Lee" Lewis.  Both played well defensively...

In game #2, the Rats shook up the lineup slightly to play some of the FNG's who weren't in game #1 to start-- after a leadoff out, the Rats loaded the bases in the bottom of the first and appeared to be on the verge of yet another quick start.  However, after two successive outs, the fire was squelched, and the team struggled to get another rally going in the remainder of the contest.  LaCrosse scored all three of its runs in the top of the fourth inning, taking advantage of small defensive miscues and the elderly battery's inability to stop a stolen base.  On the positive side, Mike Eicher drove in yet another run while catching all sixteen innings-- yeoman's work if nothing else!  Craig Jilek looked natural playing third base, and the infield defense of Sean Parnell was both confusing and athletic all at once.

On the technological side, I was finally catching up with the modern age in using my Palm T|X to keep the score-- a little program that's been around for the better part of two decades, TurboStats, was keeping me occupied in the dugout...  Once Travis Borowicz scores an amplifier and some speakers for me, I could even play between inning tunes to annoy the majority of my players, the fans in the stands, and the opposition!  Anybody have an mp3 of "Ride A Cowboy" or the William Hung's greatest hits?

Now where the hell was I?  Ah yes, preparing for my ninth trip down to Plum City as manager of the Hudson River Rats.  It seems a little odd to consider that two of our youngest players this season were only ten years old when the River Rats first came down to represent Hudson in 2000-- as I'd pointed out last year, so much has changed between now and then, yet the tourney remains.  Whole, but certainly not wholesome.  Entertaining, but not earth shattering.  Old codgers and young bucks.  Beer, brats, babes, and plenty of bullshit.  RV's and tents.  Respectful townsfolk and indecent interlopers.  A small town festival of baseball extremes.  Yin and yang in other words, to summarize in the most simplistic of ways.  I'd asked a while back (of myself, mind you-- I talk to myself quite a bit, which is one of the first signs of madness, but anyway, was I writing here?) what made the Plum City tournament special.  Why, pray tell, do you treat this extended weekend like a religious holiday?  Why is the trout pond almost like a holy shrine?  How many groupie chicks are going there from Stout?  Who the hell is passed out in my RV?  Why is Schaffer running around in a pink thong talking about an ice run?  Why are you the Italian Ambassador?

There are no true answers for every person-- Plum City means only what you believe it should mean.  It can be an excuse to spend several days away from your cramped apartment among friends and attractive (and plenty of NOT so attractive) members of the opposite sex.  It can be showcase for your talents that can propel you into a starting position and a folk lore following in the league.  It can be just another little cow pasture on the side of the road where you climb out of the jalopy and play baseball for a few hours before heading back to work, or family, or school, or meditation on the meaning of life.  It can be a celebration of the people you've played with or against for so many years, only to see them tragically injured, yet battling through with grace and dignity.  Or it can put you on a course that will alter the remainder of your life, for better (we hope!) or worse (let's not hope for that.)

What I do know is that the River Rats will play the Ellsworth Hubbers at 5:30 PM (or thereabouts) on Saturday, May 24th.  After that, we'll see if we play Prescott or Bay City on Sunday...  Whether it is the last journey or the first of another string of majestic trips remains to be seen.  However it goes, it will be memorable and unique, like all of the players on the River Rats squad-- again, for better or worse...  See you there!

Mother's Day In River Falls (May 12, 2008)

The River Rats played their first league game of the 2008 campaign yesterday against the River Falls Fighting Fish, winning an 8-2 decision in front of an announced crowd of 35 people.  It was the first game ever played by the Fish in RF, and was marked by the notable absence of longtime umpire Dan Hoffman, who we hope is ok-- it was strange to see him miss a game he'd agreed to umpire...  After a late start, the Rats jumped out to an early 3-0 lead in the top of the first off RF starter Dan Morgan, scoring Andy LaBrosse, Craig Jilek, and Sean Parnell.  The Rats tacked on two more runs in the 2nd inning from Devin Rasmussen and Andy LaBrosse, and then two more in the 4th inning when Joel Schaffer and Sean Parnell came home.  A LaBrosse run in the top of the eighth rounded out the scoring for the early season version of the Rats, who took advantage of several RF fielding miscues.

Defensively, Rats starter Travis Borowicz threw very well against his home town team, throwing six innings for the win, allowing five hits, one walk, and one hit batsman while striking out 2 Fighting Fish batters.  Brian Rudesill picked up an old-fashioned three inning save, allowing 1 hit, one unearned run, and one walk, while striking out one...

The River Rats will travel to St. Paul this Wednesday night (May 14th) to play the second half of a home and home series against the St. Paul Mudhens-- the squad hopes to see the debuts of new Rat players this week, including Chris Kein, Mitch Lewis, and Kirk Krumrei...  Only 12 days away from another journey down to Plum City!

Viva Las Vegas  (April 26, 2008)

Hello to the multitude (or rather, fifteen or so) of visitors checking out my web page this week-- while the River Rats started the 2008 season in early fashion last Saturday with a game against the St. Paul Mudhens (an 8-4 victory which was nicely done), I was visiting the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon (or at least, I was en route to the Grand Canyon-- I didn't get there until the game had ended.)  I would like to give you greater details about the trip, but you can't describe how amazing these places are until you experience them in person.  No, I'm not talking about Schaffer's junk, or Rudy's back wig-- I'm talking about Las Vegas...  If you have the time and especially the money, it's worth the investment.  Just don't stay too long...  It's tough doling out $20 to $100 for every meal, no matter how much of a high roller you might be.

As for the squad, we had several positive River Rat debuts, including Sean Parnell and Brian Sparstad...  With new hats due this week, and a several pairs of new pants for the newbies, we might even look like a legitimate team by the time we open the league season on May 11th at River Falls.  By the way, I'm sorry for those of you hoping to catch the team for an early start on Sunday, April 27th-- the rain and snow have postponed our opener...  In the meantime, we hope to get things ready for the Fighting Fish, and also hope to reschedule the Blues for a make-up date later in the summer.  Special thanks to Barabe and Schaffer for handling the team in my absence...  See you kids at the yard!

April Update  (April 9, 2008)

Thanks (again) to everyone who has visited the website over the winter months-- we're on the verge of another season of River Rat baseball in Hudson, and despite any other outward appearances, we're all looking forward to being back on the fields of Western Wisconsin.  I have heard little beyond the usual off-season rumble in terms of information on other teams from our league, so I'm not entirely certain as to how we'll stack up against the competition, other than the obvious change to our league-- the St. Croix River Bandits are now part of the SCVBL and will play in the "North" division, against River Falls, Osceola, New Richmond, Menomonie, and of course, Hudson...

On a more somber note, the River Rats were saddened to hear about the father of "General Manager" Rob Barabe, who suffered a heart attack after completing his usual weekend bicycling workout last Saturday.  From last reports, however, Mr. Barabe is recovering at United Hospital in St. Paul, and is expected to make a full recovery-- we all have the Barabes in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time...

Otherwise, it has been business as usual with the Rats, although a snafu with hat ordering has put back the timetable on completion of our 2008 uniforms...  We have ordered 30 new fitted caps (in basic red), and also have ordered two sets of new t-shirts for players (and fans) for 2008-- with 30 red tees and 30 black tees featuring our beloved Brian Rudesill designed mascot circled by "River Rat Baseball", crisp looks will not be out of style...  Expected costs for Rat fans will be $20 for caps, and $25 for t-shirts.  (Discounts may be available for SCVBL members.)  Long time fans will receive complimentary Rat swag as it is available...  No word yet on River Rat jackets, although a few throwback jackets might be in the works by late May for the Plum City tournament.

For folks interested in perusing our upcoming schedule, please check out the 2008 schedule page located at: http://www.hudsonriverrats.org/2008_Schedule.htm.

As noted before, I'm looking forward to meeting the new players joining the team in 2008, and once again seeing the returning veterans from 2000-2007.  Individuals interested in possibly joining the Rats as a player in 2008 are encouraged to contact me, Chris LaBreche, at: c.a.labreche@comcast.net for information regarding tryouts and upcoming practices.  It is highly recommended that you have a minimum experience level of high school varsity baseball (two seasons preferred), with college playing experience recommended.  If we are unable to find a roster spot for you, we may be able to recommend another team in the area with whom to play.

Hope to see you at the park!